IELTS Writing Task 2: Working Parents (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
Related guides:
The Prompt
Prompt: Some people believe that working parents should not spend too much time at work because they should prioritize their family life. Others argue that working long hours is essential for career success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The Impact of Working Hours on Family Life
In today's society, many parents work long hours to support their families. Some people believe that working parents should spend more time with their children, while others argue that working long hours is necessary for career success. This essay will discuss both views.
On one hand, spending time with family is important. Children need their parents' attention and support. Working long hours can lead to stress and health problems for parents, which can affect their family life. For example, a study by Cambridge Assessment English found that 40% of children with working parents reported feeling neglected. Therefore, it is important for parents to balance their work and family life.
On the other hand, working long hours can bring career success. Many jobs require long hours to meet deadlines and achieve goals. Parents who work long hours may earn more money, which can provide better opportunities for their children. For instance, a survey by ETS showed that 30% of parents who worked long hours reported higher job satisfaction and career advancement.
In conclusion, both views have merits. However, I believe that parents should prioritize their family life. Spending quality time with children is crucial for their development and well-being.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a clear position but with some irrelevant points.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but lacks clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and inaccurate vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors but maintains overall clarity.
Band 7.0 Answer
Balancing Work and Family Life
The debate over whether working parents should prioritize their family life or focus on career success has been ongoing. This essay will explore both perspectives and provide a personal stance.
Proponents of family time argue that children need their parents' presence for emotional and psychological development. According to a report by Cambridge Assessment English, 60% of children with involved parents exhibit better academic performance and emotional stability. Additionally, excessive work hours can lead to burnout and health issues, negatively impacting family dynamics. For example, a study by ETS found that parents who work more than 50 hours a week are 30% more likely to experience stress-related illnesses.
Conversely, advocates for long working hours contend that career success often requires significant time investment. Many industries demand long hours to meet project deadlines and achieve professional goals. Parents who dedicate more time to their careers may secure higher salaries, providing better financial stability for their families. A survey by the International Workplace Group revealed that 45% of parents who worked long hours reported career advancement and increased job satisfaction.
In my opinion, while career success is important, the well-being of children should be the top priority. Parents should strive to achieve a balance between work and family life to ensure the holistic development of their children.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some repetition.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately but with some inaccuracies.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but maintains overall clarity.
Band 8.0 Answer
The Delicate Balance: Work and Family Life
The modern workforce presents a conundrum for working parents: should they prioritize their family life or focus on career success? This essay will delve into both perspectives and offer a nuanced opinion.
Advocates for family time argue that children need their parents' presence for emotional and psychological development. According to a report by Cambridge Assessment English, 60% of children with involved parents exhibit better academic performance and emotional stability. Additionally, excessive work hours can lead to burnout and health issues, negatively impacting family dynamics. For example, a study by ETS found that parents who work more than 50 hours a week are 30% more likely to experience stress-related illnesses. Furthermore, quality time spent with family can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories, which are invaluable for a child's development.
Conversely, proponents of long working hours contend that career success often requires significant time investment. Many industries demand long hours to meet project deadlines and achieve professional goals. Parents who dedicate more time to their careers may secure higher salaries, providing better financial stability for their families. A survey by the International Workplace Group revealed that 45% of parents who worked long hours reported career advancement and increased job satisfaction. Moreover, career success can set a positive example for children, teaching them the value of hard work and dedication.
In my opinion, while career success is important, the well-being of children should be the top priority. Parents should strive to achieve a balance between work and family life to ensure the holistic development of their children. By setting boundaries and managing time effectively, parents can excel in their careers while maintaining strong family relationships.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately with some less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors but overall clarity.
Band 9.0 Answer
Navigating the Parental Tightrope: Work and Family Life
The dichotomy between prioritizing family life and pursuing career success has become a pivotal issue for working parents. This essay will explore both viewpoints and present a well-considered stance.
Proponents of family time argue that children need their parents' presence for emotional and psychological development. According to a report by Cambridge Assessment English, 60% of children with involved parents exhibit better academic performance and emotional stability. Additionally, excessive work hours can lead to burnout and health issues, negatively impacting family dynamics. For example, a study by ETS found that parents who work more than 50 hours a week are 30% more likely to experience stress-related illnesses. Furthermore, quality time spent with family can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories, which are invaluable for a child's development. Research by the American Psychological Association also indicates that children with involved parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors.
Conversely, advocates for long working hours contend that career success often requires significant time investment. Many industries demand long hours to meet project deadlines and achieve professional goals. Parents who dedicate more time to their careers may secure higher salaries, providing better financial stability for their families. A survey by the International Workplace Group revealed that 45% of parents who worked long hours reported career advancement and increased job satisfaction. Moreover, career success can set a positive example for children, teaching them the value of hard work and dedication. Additionally, financial stability can provide better educational opportunities and a higher standard of living for children.
In my opinion, while career success is important, the well-being of children should be the top priority. Parents should strive to achieve a balance between work and family life to ensure the holistic development of their children. By setting boundaries and managing time effectively, parents can excel in their careers while maintaining strong family relationships. Policies such as flexible working hours and remote work options can also help parents achieve this balance. Ultimately, the goal should be to create a harmonious environment where both career aspirations and family needs are met.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, with a clear progression and conclusion.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and a logical structure.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately with less common lexical items and idiomatic expressions.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors and overall clarity.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Prioritize (verb): to arrange things in order of importance.
- Example: Parents should prioritize their family life.
- Holistic (adjective): relating to the whole of something or to the total system rather than to its parts.
- Example: Parents should strive to achieve a balance between work and family life to ensure the holistic development of their children.
- Burnout (noun): physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.
- Example: Excessive work hours can lead to burnout and health issues.
- Advancement (noun): the process of moving forward in a course of action.
- Example: Parents who work long hours may secure career advancement.
- Dedication (noun): the quality of being committed to a task or purpose.
- Example: Career success can set a positive example for children, teaching them the value of hard work and dedication.
- Stability (noun): the state of being stable and steady.
- Example: Children with involved parents exhibit better academic performance and emotional stability.
- Conundrum (noun): a confusing and difficult problem or question.
- Example: The modern workforce presents a conundrum for working parents.
- Nuanced (adjective): characterized by subtle differences or shades of meaning.
- Example: This essay will delve into both perspectives and offer a nuanced opinion.
- Dichotomy (noun): a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.
- Example: The dichotomy between prioritizing family life and pursuing career success has become a pivotal issue.
- Pivotal (adjective): of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else.
- Example: The dichotomy between prioritizing family life and pursuing career success has become a pivotal issue.
- Invaluable (adjective): extremely useful; indispensable.
- Example: Quality time spent with family can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories, which are invaluable for a child's development.
- Boundaries (noun): a limit or edge, especially one marking a division between two things.
- Example: Parents should strive to achieve a balance between work and family life by setting boundaries.
- Harmonious (adjective): free from disagreement or dissent; peaceful.
- Example: The goal should be to create a harmonious environment where both career aspirations and family needs are met.
- Stakeholders (noun): a person with an interest or concern in something, especially a business.
- Example: Policies such as flexible working hours and remote work options can help parents achieve this balance.
- Paradigm (noun): a typical example or pattern of something; a model.
- Example: Career success can set a positive paradigm for children, teaching them the value of hard work and dedication.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Students often fail to present a clear position in their essays, leading to a lower Task Response score.
- Inadequate Supporting Ideas: Some students provide insufficient supporting ideas, which weakens their arguments.
- Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Students may struggle with organizing their ideas logically, resulting in a lower Coherence and Cohesion score.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary can negatively impact the Lexical Resource score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.
Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol
Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to improve your score.