IELTS Writing Task 2: Wildlife Conservation - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that wildlife conservation is a waste of money when there are so many human problems to solve. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Score Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically ordered but with some abrupt transitions.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Attempts complex structures but with frequent errors affecting meaning.
Answer
Some people think that saving animals is not important when there are many human problems. I agree with this because we should help people first.
There are many problems in the world like poverty and hunger. If we spend money on animals, we cannot help people. For example, in Africa, many people do not have enough food, but money is spent on saving elephants. This is not fair because people need help more than animals.
Also, animals can survive without our help. They have lived for millions of years without us. If we protect their habitats, they can live well. We do not need to spend extra money on them.
In conclusion, I agree that we should spend money on human problems first. Animals are important, but people need help more.
Band 7.0 Answer
Score Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some errors and limited range.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with some errors.
Answer
The debate over whether wildlife conservation is a waste of money when there are pressing human issues is a contentious one. I believe that while human problems are important, we should not neglect wildlife conservation.
On one hand, there are many human problems that need attention. Poverty, hunger, and lack of education are significant issues. For instance, in many developing countries, children do not have access to proper education. Spending money on wildlife might seem like a luxury when these problems exist.
On the other hand, wildlife conservation is crucial for maintaining ecological balance. Animals play a vital role in the ecosystem. If we do not protect them, it can lead to environmental problems. For example, the extinction of bees could affect agriculture, leading to food shortages.
In conclusion, while human problems are important, we should not ignore wildlife conservation. Both issues need attention and funding.
Band 8.0 Answer
Score Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions and cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of appropriate vocabulary with some errors and limited sophistication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with some errors.
Answer
The question of whether wildlife conservation is a waste of money in light of pressing human problems is a complex one. I firmly believe that both issues are important and deserve attention.
Proponents of focusing on human problems argue that issues like poverty, hunger, and lack of education are more pressing. For example, in many developing countries, children do not have access to proper education. Spending money on wildlife might seem like a luxury when these problems exist. However, this perspective overlooks the interconnectedness of human and environmental well-being.
Wildlife conservation is crucial for maintaining ecological balance. Animals play a vital role in the ecosystem. For instance, the extinction of bees could affect agriculture, leading to food shortages. Additionally, many medicines are derived from plants and animals, highlighting the practical benefits of conservation.
In conclusion, while human problems are important, we should not ignore wildlife conservation. Both issues are interconnected and deserve attention and funding. A balanced approach is necessary to ensure the well-being of both humans and the environment.
Band 9.0 Answer
Score Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments, relevant examples, and nuanced discussion.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions, cohesive devices, and sophisticated paragraphing.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with sophisticated and precise usage.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with minimal errors.
Answer
The contentious issue of whether wildlife conservation is a waste of money in the face of pressing human problems warrants a nuanced examination. I contend that while human issues are undeniably important, wildlife conservation is equally critical and should not be overlooked.
Those who prioritize human problems argue that issues such as poverty, hunger, and lack of education are more pressing. For instance, in many developing countries, children do not have access to proper education. Spending money on wildlife might seem like a luxury when these problems exist. However, this perspective overlooks the interconnectedness of human and environmental well-being. Wildlife conservation is not a luxury but a necessity for maintaining ecological balance.
Animals play a vital role in the ecosystem. For example, the extinction of bees could affect agriculture, leading to food shortages. Additionally, many medicines are derived from plants and animals, highlighting the practical benefits of conservation. Furthermore, wildlife tourism can generate significant revenue, contributing to local economies and funding for further conservation efforts.
In conclusion, while human problems are important, we should not ignore wildlife conservation. Both issues are interconnected and deserve attention and funding. A balanced approach is necessary to ensure the well-being of both humans and the environment. By investing in wildlife conservation, we are also investing in our own future.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious: Debatable or controversial.
- Example: The issue of wildlife conservation is highly contentious.
- Nuanced: Characterized by subtle differences or shades of meaning.
- Example: A nuanced approach to the problem is necessary.
- Interconnectedness: The state of being connected or interrelated.
- Example: The interconnectedness of human and environmental well-being.
- Proponents: People who support or advocate for a particular cause or idea.
- Example: Proponents of wildlife conservation argue for its importance.
- Overlooks: Fails to notice or consider.
- Example: This perspective overlooks the interconnectedness of human and environmental well-being.
- Ecological balance: The state of natural balance in the environment.
- Example: Wildlife conservation is crucial for maintaining ecological balance.
- Extinction: The state or process of a species ceasing to exist.
- Example: The extinction of bees could affect agriculture.
- Derived: Obtained or produced from a source.
- Example: Many medicines are derived from plants and animals.
- Revenue: Income, especially when of a company or organization.
- Example: Wildlife tourism can generate significant revenue.
- Contributing: Giving something in order to help achieve or improve something.
- Example: Funding for further conservation efforts.
- Balanced approach: A method or strategy that considers multiple factors or perspectives.
- Example: A balanced approach is necessary to ensure the well-being of both humans and the environment.
- Investing: Putting money, effort, or time into something to achieve a future benefit.
- Example: By investing in wildlife conservation, we are also investing in our own future.
- Luxury: A state of great comfort or elegance, especially when involving great expense.
- Example: Spending money on wildlife might seem like a luxury when these problems exist.
- Pressing: Requiring immediate action or attention.
- Example: Issues such as poverty, hunger, and lack of education are more pressing.
- Access: The right or opportunity to use or benefit from something.
- Example: Children do not have access to proper education.
- Agriculture: The science, art, or practice of cultivating the soil, producing crops, and raising livestock.
- Example: The extinction of bees could affect agriculture.
- Medicines: Substances or drugs used to diagnose, treat, or prevent disease.
- Example: Many medicines are derived from plants and animals.
- Tourism: The practice of traveling for pleasure.
- Example: Wildlife tourism can generate significant revenue.
- Efforts: Exertion of physical or mental energy to do something.
- Example: Funding for further conservation efforts.
- Future: The time that comes after the present.
- Example: By investing in wildlife conservation, we are also investing in our own future.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Ignoring the Prompt: Failing to address the question directly, leading to a lower Task Response score.
- Lack of Examples: Not providing specific examples to support arguments, which weakens the response.
- Poor Organization: Disorganized ideas and lack of clear transitions, affecting Coherence and Cohesion.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a narrow range of vocabulary, which limits the Lexical Resource score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes, which affect the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
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