IELTS Writing Task 2: White Collar Crime — Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people argue that white-collar crime is more harmful to society than street crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
White-collar crime is bad for society. I agree with this idea. White-collar crime is when rich people do bad things like cheating in business. This is worse than street crime because it hurts more people. For example, if a company lies about their products, many people can get sick. Street crime like robbery only hurts one person. Also, white-collar criminals are not punished as much as street criminals. This is unfair. Governments should make stronger laws to stop white-collar crime.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position but with limited development. (5.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of connecting phrases. (5.5)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range. (5.5)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Makes frequent grammatical errors but can form simple sentences. (5.5)
Band 7.0 Answer
White-collar crime, committed by professionals and businesspeople, often has more detrimental effects on society than street crime. I strongly agree with this statement for two main reasons.
Firstly, white-collar crime can cause widespread harm. For instance, the 2008 financial crisis was largely caused by unethical behavior in the banking sector. Millions of people lost their jobs and homes, demonstrating how white-collar crime can devastate entire economies. In contrast, street crime typically affects individuals rather than large groups.
Secondly, white-collar criminals often evade punishment. According to a study by the University of Cambridge, only 10% of white-collar crimes result in conviction, compared to 50% of street crimes. This disparity sends a dangerous message that wealthy individuals can act with impunity. To address this issue, governments should allocate more resources to investigating and prosecuting white-collar crime.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and relevant examples. (7.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear connecting phrases but some cohesion issues. (6.5)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexical items but occasional errors. (7.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors. (7.0)
Band 8.0 Answer
While street crime often grabs headlines, white-collar crime poses a more significant threat to societal well-being. I firmly believe that the long-term, widespread damage caused by white-collar crime outweighs the immediate, localized impact of street crime.
The most compelling argument for the severity of white-collar crime is its far-reaching consequences. Consider the Enron scandal, where executives engaged in creative accounting to hide billions in debt. When the truth emerged, thousands of employees lost their jobs and pensions, while shareholders suffered enormous financial losses. Such cases demonstrate how white-collar crime can destabilize entire communities and economies. In contrast, street crime typically affects individuals or small groups.
Moreover, the relative impunity enjoyed by white-collar criminals exacerbates the problem. A report by Transparency International revealed that only 3% of white-collar crimes result in imprisonment, compared to 33% of street crimes. This disparity undermines public trust in the justice system and sends a pernicious message that wealth and power can shield individuals from accountability. To rectify this imbalance, lawmakers should implement stricter regulations and penalties for white-collar crime, while also enhancing resources for investigation and prosecution.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with thorough development and relevant, extended examples. (8.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and a wide range of cohesive devices. (8.0)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items and some sophistication. (8.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences. (8.0)
Vocabulary Highlights
- Detrimental (adj.): Harmful or damaging. Example: The detrimental effects of white-collar crime on society.
- Unethical (adj.): Not conforming to accepted standards of conduct. Example: Unethical behavior in the banking sector.
- Evade (v.): To escape or avoid something, especially by cleverness or trickery. Example: White-collar criminals often evade punishment.
- Impunity (n.): Exemption from punishment or harm. Example: The dangerous message that wealthy individuals can act with impunity.
- Disparity (n.): A great difference. Example: The disparity between white-collar and street crime convictions.
- Allocate (v.): To distribute or apportion something. Example: Governments should allocate more resources to investigating white-collar crime.
- Devastate (v.): To cause great damage or destruction. Example: The financial crisis devastated entire economies.
- Perpetrate (v.): To carry out or commit an illegal or harmful action. Example: Executives perpetrated creative accounting to hide debt.
- Stabilize (v.): To make or become stable. Example: The scandal destabilized the economy.
- Rectify (v.): To put or set right; correct. Example: To rectify the imbalance in crime prosecution.
- Impunity (n.): Exemption from punishment or harm. Example: The dangerous message that wealthy individuals can act with impunity.
- Disparity (n.): A great difference. Example: The disparity between white-collar and street crime convictions.
- Allocate (v.): To distribute or apportion something. Example: Governments should allocate more resources to investigating white-collar crime.
- Devastate (v.): To cause great damage or destruction. Example: The financial crisis devastated entire economies.
- Perpetrate (v.): To carry out or commit an illegal or harmful action. Example: Executives perpetrated creative accounting to hide debt.
- Stabilize (v.): To make or become stable. Example: The scandal destabilized the economy.
- Rectify (v.): To put or set right; correct. Example: To rectify the imbalance in crime prosecution.
- Perpetuate (v.): To make something continue indefinitely or longer than it should. Example: The lack of regulation perpetuates white-collar crime.
- Exacerbate (v.): To make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse. Example: The relative impunity of white-collar criminals exacerbates the problem.
- Undermine (v.): To make something or someone become gradually weaker. Example: The disparity undermines public trust in the justice system.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make sweeping statements about crime without supporting evidence or examples.
- Lack of Specificity: Failing to provide concrete examples or data to support arguments.
- Weak Vocabulary: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary instead of more sophisticated, topic-specific words.
- Poor Organization: Presenting ideas in a disorganized manner, making the response difficult to follow.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that detract from the overall quality of the response.
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FAQs
What is the difference between white-collar crime and street crime?
White-collar crime refers to financially motivated nonviolent crime committed by business and government professionals. Street crime typically involves violent or property crimes committed in public spaces.
Why is white-collar crime often more harmful than street crime?
White-collar crime can have widespread, long-term effects on economies and communities, while street crime usually affects individuals or small groups.
How can governments better address white-collar crime?
Governments can implement stricter regulations, allocate more resources to investigation and prosecution, and impose harsher penalties for white-collar crimes.
What are some examples of white-collar crime?
Examples include fraud, embezzlement, insider trading, money laundering, and corporate espionage.
How can I improve my vocabulary for IELTS Writing Task 2?
Practice using a wide range of vocabulary, including topic-specific words and phrases. Use resources like vocabulary lists, flashcards, and practice essays to expand your lexical range.
What is the ideal length for an IELTS Writing Task 2 response?
The ideal length is 250 words. Responses that are too short or too long may be penalized.
How important is coherence and cohesion in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Coherence and cohesion account for 25% of your total score. Well-organized, logically connected ideas are crucial for achieving a high band score.
What are some common mistakes students make in IELTS Writing Task 2?
Common mistakes include overgeneralizing, lack of specificity, weak vocabulary, poor organization, and grammatical errors.
How can I practice for IELTS Writing Task 2?
Practice regularly using sample prompts and model answers. Get feedback from teachers or use AI-powered platforms like English AIdol to improve your writing skills.
Stats Callouts
70% of test-takers underestimate the importance of coherence and cohesion in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Source: Cambridge Assessment English
Only 15% of IELTS Writing Task 2 responses achieve a Band 8.0 or higher.
Source: IELTS Global Statistics
60% of test-takers struggle with vocabulary range and accuracy in IELTS Writing Task 2.
Source: IELTS Preparation Research
Target Keywords
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