IELTS Writing Task 2: Unemployment (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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Full Prompt (Paraphrased)

Some people believe that unemployment has more negative effects on both individuals and society than positive ones. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.0 Model Answer

Unemployment is a big problem in many countries. Some people think that it has more negative effects than positive ones on individuals and society. I agree with this.

On the one hand, unemployment can have some positive effects. For example, people who are unemployed have more time to spend with their families. Also, they can use this time to learn new skills. But these are not very important compared to the negative effects.

On the other hand, the negative effects are much bigger. First, unemployed people do not have money to buy things, so they cannot support the economy. Second, unemployment can cause health problems because people feel stressed and anxious. Finally, high unemployment rates can lead to social problems like crime.

In my opinion, the negative effects are much more serious. Governments should do more to create jobs and support unemployed people.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 – Presents a position but develops it with relevant, but unconvincing arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 – Uses some cohesive devices but the argument lacks clarity.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 – Attempts varied vocabulary but makes some errors in word choice and collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences but makes frequent grammatical errors.

Band 7.0 Model Answer

The issue of unemployment is a contentious one. While some argue that it has certain benefits, I believe the drawbacks significantly outweigh them.

Proponents of the positive aspects of unemployment argue that it provides individuals with time to pursue personal interests or further education. For instance, an unemployed person might take up a hobby or enroll in a course to improve their skills. However, these advantages are relatively minor compared to the substantial disadvantages.

The negative consequences of unemployment are far more severe. Financially, the lack of income can lead to poverty and debt, creating a cycle that is difficult to escape. Psychologically, prolonged unemployment can result in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Moreover, high unemployment rates can strain social services and increase crime rates, as desperate individuals may turn to illegal activities to survive.

In my view, the negative impacts of unemployment are more profound. Governments should prioritize job creation and provide robust support systems for the unemployed to mitigate these effects.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 – Presents a clear position with relevant, extended arguments but some points are underdeveloped.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively but some paragraphs lack clear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 – Uses a range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but some errors in collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but makes occasional errors.

Band 8.0 Model Answer

Unemployment, a pervasive issue in many economies, is often debated for its dual impact on individuals and society. While it may offer certain advantages, I contend that its detrimental effects are more pronounced.

Advocates for the positive aspects of unemployment posit that it allows individuals to explore personal development or educational opportunities. For example, an unemployed individual might engage in volunteer work or enroll in a certification program to enhance their employability. These benefits, however, are overshadowed by the more significant drawbacks.

The adverse effects of unemployment are multifaceted. Economically, the loss of income can lead to financial instability, affecting not only the unemployed individual but also their dependents. Psychologically, the stress and stigma associated with unemployment can deteriorate mental health, leading to conditions such as depression and low self-esteem. Societal implications include increased strain on public resources and a potential rise in crime rates due to economic desperation.

In my opinion, the negative consequences of unemployment are more far-reaching and severe. Governments should implement comprehensive policies to foster job creation and provide adequate support for the unemployed to alleviate these issues.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 – Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively, and paragraphs are logically organized.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 – Uses a range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but occasional errors in word choice and collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.

Band 9.0 Model Answer

The phenomenon of unemployment, a critical economic indicator, has sparked debates regarding its dual impact on individuals and society. While it may offer some advantages, I firmly believe that its deleterious effects are more significant and far-reaching.

Proponents of the positive aspects of unemployment argue that it provides individuals with the opportunity to engage in personal development or educational pursuits. For instance, an unemployed individual might leverage this period to acquire new skills, such as learning a new language or obtaining a professional certification. These benefits, however, are largely overshadowed by the more substantial drawbacks.

The detrimental effects of unemployment are manifold. Economically, the absence of income can lead to financial instability, affecting not only the unemployed individual but also their broader social network. Psychologically, the prolonged state of unemployment can engender mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, due to the stress and stigma associated with joblessness. Societal implications include increased pressure on public resources and a potential escalation in crime rates, as economic desperation drives individuals to illegal activities.

In my view, the negative consequences of unemployment are more profound and pervasive. Governments should devise and implement multifaceted policies to stimulate job creation and provide comprehensive support systems for the unemployed to mitigate these adverse effects.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 – Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments, demonstrating a thorough treatment of the task.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively, and paragraphs are logically organized with clear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 – Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated lexical items.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating a high degree of grammatical accuracy.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adj.) – Controversial, debated. Example: The issue of unemployment is contentious.
2. Proponents (n.) – Supporters, advocates. Example: Proponents of the positive aspects argue that...
3. Pervasive (adj.) – Widespread, prevalent. Example: Unemployment is a pervasive issue.
4. Detrimental (adj.) – Harmful, damaging. Example: The detrimental effects of unemployment.
5. Economically (adv.) – Financially, in terms of the economy. Example: Economically, the loss of income can lead to instability.
6. Deteriorate (v.) – Worsen, decline. Example: The stress can deteriorate mental health.
7. Stigma (n.) – Social disapproval, shame. Example: The stigma associated with unemployment.
8. Phenomenon (n.) – Fact, occurrence. Example: The phenomenon of unemployment.
9. Engender (v.) – Cause, give rise to. Example: Unemployment can engender mental health issues.
10. Escalation (n.) – Increase, rise. Example: A potential escalation in crime rates.
11. Manifold (adj.) – Many, varied. Example: The detrimental effects are manifold.
12. Leverage (v.) – Utilize, take advantage of. Example: Leverage this period to acquire new skills.
13. Multifaceted (adj.) – Having many aspects, complex. Example: Devise multifaceted policies.
14. Comprehensive (adj.) – Complete, thorough. Example: Provide comprehensive support systems.
15. Deleterious (adj.) – Harmful, damaging. Example: The deleterious effects are more significant.
16. Broader (adj.) – Wider, more extensive. Example: Affect their broader social network.
17. Engage in (v. phrase) – Participate in, involve oneself in. Example: Engage in personal development.
18. Certification (n.) – Official recognition of qualification. Example: Obtaining a professional certification.
19. Strain (n.) – Pressure, burden. Example: Increased strain on public resources.
20. Desperation (n.) – Desperate situation, extreme need. Example: Economic desperation drives individuals to illegal activities.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Balance – Failing to discuss both positive and negative aspects equally.
2. Weak Examples – Using vague or unsupported examples to illustrate points.
3. Poor Vocabulary Choices – Using repetitive or inappropriate vocabulary.
4. Grammatical Errors – Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.
5. Inadequate Conclusion – Failing to restate the main points and provide a clear conclusion.

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