IELTS Writing Task 2: Unemployment - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that unemployment is a serious problem in modern society. Others argue that it is not as serious as other issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.5 Answer
Unemployment is a significant issue in today's world. On one hand, it can lead to economic problems and personal hardships. When people are unemployed, they cannot contribute to the economy, which can lead to a decrease in economic growth. Additionally, unemployment can cause stress and anxiety for individuals and their families. On the other hand, some people argue that other issues, such as poverty and education, are more pressing. They believe that unemployment is a natural part of the economic cycle and that it is not as serious as other problems. However, I believe that unemployment is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
In conclusion, while some people may argue that unemployment is not as serious as other issues, I believe that it is a significant problem that needs to be addressed. Governments and organizations should work together to create more job opportunities and support those who are unemployed.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 6.0 - Presents a clear position but with some irrelevant details.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.5 - Logical organization with some unclear arguments.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.5 - Sufficient range of vocabulary but lacks sophistication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.5 - Some errors in grammar but generally understandable.
Band 7.0 Answer
Unemployment is a critical issue that affects both individuals and societies. Those who view it as a serious problem point to its economic and social consequences. Economically, unemployment leads to a decrease in consumer spending and tax revenues, which can hinder economic growth. Socially, it can cause stress, anxiety, and a decrease in overall well-being. Conversely, some argue that other issues, such as poverty and education, are more pressing. They believe that unemployment is a natural part of the economic cycle and that it is not as serious as other problems. However, I believe that unemployment is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
In conclusion, while some people may argue that unemployment is not as serious as other issues, I believe that it is a significant problem that needs to be addressed. Governments and organizations should work together to create more job opportunities and support those who are unemployed.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Logical organization with clear arguments.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Sufficient range of vocabulary with some sophistication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Some errors in grammar but generally understandable.
Band 8.0 Answer
Unemployment is a multifaceted issue that has far-reaching implications for both individuals and societies. Those who view it as a serious problem highlight its economic and social consequences. Economically, unemployment leads to a decrease in consumer spending and tax revenues, which can hinder economic growth. Socially, it can cause stress, anxiety, and a decrease in overall well-being. Conversely, some argue that other issues, such as poverty and education, are more pressing. They believe that unemployment is a natural part of the economic cycle and that it is not as serious as other problems. However, I believe that unemployment is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
In conclusion, while some people may argue that unemployment is not as serious as other issues, I believe that it is a significant problem that needs to be addressed. Governments and organizations should work together to create more job opportunities and support those who are unemployed.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with full development.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Logical organization with clear arguments.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Sufficient range of vocabulary with sophistication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Some errors in grammar but generally understandable.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Significant - Important or noticeable. Example: Unemployment is a significant issue in today's world.
- Economic - Relating to the economy or economic activity. Example: Unemployment can lead to economic problems.
- Hardships - Difficulties or challenges. Example: Unemployment can cause personal hardships.
- Pressing - Urgent or important. Example: Other issues, such as poverty and education, are more pressing.
- Natural - Existing in or caused by nature; not made or caused by humankind. Example: Unemployment is a natural part of the economic cycle.
- Address - To deal with a problem or situation. Example: Unemployment is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.
- Contribute - To give something, especially money, in order to help achieve or provide something. Example: When people are unemployed, they cannot contribute to the economy.
- Decrease - To become or make something smaller or less. Example: Unemployment can lead to a decrease in economic growth.
- Stress - A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. Example: Unemployment can cause stress and anxiety.
- Anxiety - A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Example: Unemployment can cause stress and anxiety.
- Growth - The process of increasing in size, especially in height and width. Example: Unemployment can lead to a decrease in economic growth.
- Revenues - Income, especially when of a company or organization and of a substantial nature. Example: Unemployment leads to a decrease in tax revenues.
- Hinder - To make it difficult for someone to do something or for something to happen. Example: Unemployment can hinder economic growth.
- Well-being - The state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy. Example: Unemployment can cause a decrease in overall well-being.
- Multifaceted - Having many different aspects or features. Example: Unemployment is a multifaceted issue.
- Far-reaching - Extending or having important effects over a wide area or range. Example: Unemployment has far-reaching implications.
- Implications - The consequences of something that will happen or have happened. Example: Unemployment has far-reaching implications.
- Hinder - To make it difficult for someone to do something or for something to happen. Example: Unemployment can hinder economic growth.
- Well-being - The state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy. Example: Unemployment can cause a decrease in overall well-being.
- Multifaceted - Having many different aspects or features. Example: Unemployment is a multifaceted issue.
- Far-reaching - Extending or having important effects over a wide area or range. Example: Unemployment has far-reaching implications.
- Implications - The consequences of something that will happen or have happened. Example: Unemployment has far-reaching implications.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position - Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their argument unclear.
- Irrelevant Details - Including irrelevant details can weaken the argument and reduce the score.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice - Using simple or repetitive vocabulary can lower the Lexical Resource score.
- Grammar Errors - Frequent grammar errors can significantly impact the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
- Poor Organization - A poorly organized essay can make it difficult for the examiner to follow the argument, reducing the Coherence and Cohesion score.
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