IELTS Writing Task 2: Traditional Medicine – Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that traditional medicine should be replaced by modern medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but some ideas are not fully developed. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Logical organization with clear progression. Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some errors. Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey ideas, but with some errors in word choice and collocation. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with frequent errors in grammar and punctuation.
Traditional medicine has been used for centuries and is still popular in many cultures. While some argue that it should be replaced by modern medicine, I disagree with this view. Traditional medicine has many benefits that modern medicine cannot replace.
Firstly, traditional medicine is often more affordable and accessible than modern medicine. In many developing countries, people cannot afford expensive treatments and medications. Traditional medicine, on the other hand, uses natural ingredients that are readily available and cost-effective. For example, in India, Ayurveda has been practiced for thousands of years and is still widely used today. It uses herbs and natural remedies that are easily accessible and affordable for most people.
Secondly, traditional medicine often focuses on prevention rather than cure. Modern medicine tends to focus on treating symptoms rather than addressing the root cause of the illness. Traditional medicine, on the other hand, emphasizes maintaining a healthy lifestyle and preventing illness before it occurs. For instance, Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) emphasizes the importance of balance and harmony in the body. It uses acupuncture, herbal remedies, and other techniques to maintain health and prevent illness.
However, it is important to acknowledge that modern medicine has its advantages. It has made significant advancements in treating diseases and saving lives. Modern medicine has also made it possible to diagnose and treat illnesses more accurately and effectively. For example, modern medicine has made significant progress in treating cancer, heart disease, and other serious illnesses.
In conclusion, while modern medicine has its advantages, traditional medicine should not be replaced. Traditional medicine has many benefits that modern medicine cannot replace, such as affordability, accessibility, and a focus on prevention. Therefore, both traditional and modern medicine should be used together to provide the best healthcare for people.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Affordable (adj.) - Inexpensive; reasonably priced. Example: Affordable healthcare is essential for everyone.
- Accessible (adj.) - Easy to obtain or use. Example: The clinic provides accessible healthcare services.
- Natural ingredients (n.) - Substances found in nature used for medicinal purposes. Example: Many traditional remedies use natural ingredients.
- Prevention (n.) - The act of stopping something from happening. Example: Prevention is better than cure.
- Symptoms (n.) - Physical or mental features associated with a condition or disease. Example: The symptoms of the flu include fever and fatigue.
- Root cause (n.) - The fundamental reason for something. Example: The doctor identified the root cause of the illness.
- Advancements (n.) - Developments or improvements. Example: Modern medicine has made significant advancements.
- Diagnose (v.) - To identify a disease or illness. Example: The doctor diagnosed the patient with the flu.
- Accurately (adv.) - In a precise or exact manner. Example: The test results were accurately recorded.
- Effectively (adv.) - In a way that is successful in producing a desired result. Example: The treatment was effectively administered.
- Herbal remedies (n.) - Medicines made from plants. Example: Many traditional medicines use herbal remedies.
- Acupuncture (n.) - A form of traditional Chinese medicine involving the insertion of needles into the skin. Example: Acupuncture is used to treat various ailments.
- Balance (n.) - A state of equilibrium or harmony. Example: Maintaining balance is essential for good health.
- Harmony (n.) - A state of peaceful coexistence. Example: Traditional medicine emphasizes harmony with nature.
- Emphasizes (v.) - To give special importance or value to something. Example: Traditional medicine emphasizes prevention.
- Lifestyle (n.) - The way in which a person lives. Example: A healthy lifestyle is important for good health.
- Illness (n.) - A disease or medical condition. Example: The illness was diagnosed early.
- Treatments (n.) - Medical care or therapy. Example: The treatments were effective.
- Medications (n.) - Drugs or medicines. Example: The medications were prescribed by the doctor.
- Cure (n.) - A substance or treatment that cures a disease or condition. Example: There is no known cure for the disease.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support their arguments.
- Lack of Coherence: Some students fail to organize their ideas logically, making it difficult for the reader to follow their arguments.
- Inadequate Vocabulary: Using limited vocabulary can make the response sound repetitive and uninteresting. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary to convey their ideas effectively.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can distract the reader and make the response difficult to understand. Students should proofread their work to ensure grammatical accuracy.
- Not Addressing the Task: Some students fail to address the task fully, either by providing a one-sided argument or by not discussing both sides of the issue.
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