IELTS Writing Task 2: Tourism Economy - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Paraphrased Prompt: The tourism industry has become a major economic driver in many countries. Some argue that governments should invest more in developing this sector, while others believe that this focus creates problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

The tourism industry is very important for many countries. Some people think governments should invest more in tourism, but others say this causes problems. I think both views are correct.

Tourism brings money to countries. Many jobs are created in hotels, restaurants, and travel agencies. For example, in Thailand, tourism is a big part of the economy. But there are also problems. Too many tourists can damage the environment. In some places, beaches are dirty and the water is polluted. Also, local people sometimes lose their homes because hotels are built instead.

I think governments should invest in tourism, but they must also protect the environment and local people. They can make rules to control tourism and develop other industries too. This way, the economy can grow without causing too many problems.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5 - Presents a position but with limited development and supporting ideas
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6 - Uses some cohesive devices but with frequent errors and unclear progression
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6 - Uses a mix of appropriate and limited vocabulary with some errors
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6 - Attempts complex sentences but with frequent errors

Band 7.0 Answer

The economic significance of tourism cannot be overstated, yet its development presents both opportunities and challenges.

Proponents of increased tourism investment argue that it stimulates economic growth. Tourism generates substantial revenue through visitor spending and creates employment opportunities. For instance, countries like Spain and France have thriving tourism sectors that contribute significantly to their GDP. Furthermore, tourism promotes cultural exchange and international understanding. However, critics contend that over-reliance on tourism can lead to environmental degradation and social issues. Coastal areas may face pollution and habitat destruction, while local communities might experience gentrification and rising living costs.

In my view, governments should adopt a balanced approach. They should invest in sustainable tourism practices, such as eco-tourism and responsible travel policies. Additionally, diversification of the economy can mitigate the risks associated with overdependence on tourism. By doing so, countries can reap the benefits of tourism while minimizing its negative impacts.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some errors and occasional unclear progression
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7 - Uses a range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but some errors
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors

Band 8.0 Answer

The tourism sector has emerged as a pivotal economic driver, yet its rapid expansion raises contentious debates.

Advocates for increased tourism investment highlight its economic benefits. Tourism injects capital into local economies through visitor expenditure and fosters job creation in various sectors. Countries like the Maldives and Bali have transformed their economies through tourism, achieving remarkable growth rates. Additionally, tourism fosters cultural exchange and global connectivity. Conversely, detractors argue that unchecked tourism development can lead to environmental degradation and social disparities. Over-tourism can strain infrastructure, degrade natural landscapes, and displace local residents, as seen in cities like Barcelona and Venice.

I firmly believe that governments should prioritize sustainable tourism development. This involves implementing strict environmental regulations, promoting eco-friendly practices, and investing in community-based tourism initiatives. Diversifying the economy can also mitigate the risks of over-reliance on tourism. By adopting a strategic and balanced approach, countries can harness the benefits of tourism while safeguarding their environmental and social fabric.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8 - Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported ideas
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and some sophisticated use
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items and few errors
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors but generally accurate

Band 9.0 Answer

The ascendancy of tourism as a linchpin of economic development has sparked fervent debate regarding its optimal management.

Proponents of robust tourism investment contend that it catalyzes economic prosperity. Tourism infuses capital into local economies through visitor expenditure and engenders employment opportunities across diverse sectors. Nations such as Singapore and Dubai have leveraged tourism to achieve unprecedented economic growth. Moreover, tourism fosters intercultural dialogue and global cohesion. Conversely, critics posit that unregulated tourism expansion can precipitate environmental degradation and social inequities. Over-tourism can exacerbate pollution, deplete natural resources, and marginalize local communities, as evidenced in destinations like Santorini and Machu Picchu.

I am firmly convinced that governments must champion sustainable tourism practices. This entails enacting stringent environmental safeguards, advocating for eco-conscious travel behaviors, and nurturing community-centric tourism initiatives. Concurrently, economic diversification can ameliorate the vulnerabilities inherent in tourism-dependent economies. By adopting a judicious and holistic approach, nations can capitalize on the advantages of tourism while preserving their ecological and sociocultural integrity.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9 - Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported ideas, demonstrating expert-level task achievement
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and sophisticated use
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with sophisticated and precise lexical items and minimal errors
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors and sophisticated structures

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Economic Driver: A factor that stimulates economic growth (e.g., tourism is a major economic driver)
2. Stimulates: Encourages or promotes (e.g., tourism stimulates economic growth)
3. Substantial Revenue: Significant income (e.g., tourism generates substantial revenue)
4. Environmental Degradation: Damage to the natural environment (e.g., tourism can lead to environmental degradation)
5. Gentification: The process of changing the character of a neighborhood through the influx of more affluent residents (e.g., gentrification and rising living costs)
6. Sustainable Tourism: Tourism that meets the needs of the present without compromising the ability of future generations to meet their own needs (e.g., sustainable tourism practices)
7. Eco-Tourism: Responsible travel to natural areas that conserves the environment and improves the well-being of local people (e.g., promoting eco-tourism)
8. Infrastructure: The basic physical and organizational structures needed for the operation of a society (e.g., straining infrastructure)
9. Intercultural Dialogue: Communication and exchange between different cultural groups (e.g., fostering intercultural dialogue)
10. Global Cohesion: The state of being united or connected (e.g., global cohesion)
11. Unregulated Expansion: Growth without control or regulation (e.g., unregulated tourism expansion)
12. Precipitate: Cause to happen suddenly or unexpectedly (e.g., precipitate environmental degradation)
13. Marginalize: Treat as unimportant or insignificant (e.g., marginalize local communities)
14. Enact: Make (a bill or other proposal) law (e.g., enacting stringent environmental safeguards)
15. Advocating: Publicly recommending or supporting (e.g., advocating for eco-conscious travel behaviors)
16. Nurturing: Care for and encourage the growth or development of (e.g., nurturing community-centric tourism initiatives)
17. Ameliorate: Make (something bad or unsatisfactory) better (e.g., ameliorate the vulnerabilities)
18. Judicious: Having or showing good judgment (e.g., adopting a judicious approach)
19. Holistic: Characterized by the belief that the parts of something are intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole (e.g., holistic approach)
20. Ecological Integrity: The condition of an ecosystem that is unaltered by human exploitation (e.g., preserving ecological integrity)
21. Sociocultural: Relating to society and culture (e.g., sociocultural integrity)

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear stance on the issue, leading to a lower Task Response score.
2. Overgeneralization: Making broad statements without specific examples or evidence.
3. Poor Cohesion: Using ineffective or incorrect cohesive devices, making the essay difficult to follow.
4. Vocabulary Errors: Using advanced vocabulary incorrectly, which can confuse the reader and lower the Lexical Resource score.
5. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes, which can detract from the overall quality of the essay.

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