IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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The Prompt
Some people believe that governments should take action to reduce sugar consumption. Others believe it is the responsibility of individuals to control their own diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with either view? Do you think that governments should be responsible for controlling what people eat?
Model Answers with Scoring Breakdowns
Band 6.0 Answer
The government should control what people eat because many people are unhealthy. Some people think it is the responsibility of individuals to control their diet, but this is not true. Governments should make laws to limit sugar consumption.
Firstly, many people eat too much sugar. This causes health problems like obesity and diabetes. If the government controls sugar, people will be healthier. For example, in some countries, there are taxes on sugary drinks. This has reduced consumption.
Secondly, individuals cannot be trusted to control their own diet. Many people know that sugar is bad, but they still eat it. The government must step in to protect public health. For instance, some countries have banned junk food in schools. This has improved children's health.
In conclusion, governments should be responsible for controlling what people eat. Individuals cannot be trusted to make healthy choices, so the government must intervene.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but does not fully address both parts of the question. Arguments are simplistic.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but lack clear progression. Some basic cohesive devices are used.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a limited range of vocabulary with some attempts at less common words. Some errors in word choice.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses simple sentence structures with some complex forms attempted but with errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
The debate over who should be responsible for reducing sugar consumption—governments or individuals—is a contentious one. While personal responsibility plays a role, I believe that governments should take a more active stance in regulating sugar intake.
On one hand, individuals must take responsibility for their own health. Educating people about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption can empower them to make healthier choices. For example, public awareness campaigns have been successful in some countries, leading to a decrease in sugar consumption.
However, relying solely on individual responsibility is not enough. Governments have a duty to protect public health. Implementing policies such as sugar taxes and banning sugary drinks in schools can have a significant impact. For instance, Mexico's sugar tax has led to a 5.5% decrease in purchases of sugary beverages, demonstrating the effectiveness of government intervention.
In conclusion, while individuals should be aware of their sugar intake, governments must play a crucial role in regulating sugar consumption to ensure public health.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position and addresses both parts of the question. Arguments are developed with some examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common words used appropriately. Some errors in word choice.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors in complex forms.
Band 8.0 Answer
The question of whether governments or individuals should be responsible for reducing sugar consumption is a complex one. While personal responsibility is undeniably important, I firmly believe that governments must take a more proactive role in addressing this public health issue.
Proponents of individual responsibility argue that people should be free to make their own dietary choices. Education and awareness campaigns can indeed empower individuals to make healthier decisions. For example, the UK's Change4Life campaign has successfully encouraged people to reduce their sugar intake by providing practical tips and resources.
Nevertheless, the influence of individual choices is limited when compared to the impact of government policies. Implementing regulations such as sugar taxes, clear labeling, and restrictions on marketing to children can significantly reduce sugar consumption. For instance, the introduction of sugar taxes in various countries has led to a notable decrease in the purchase of sugary drinks, as evidenced by a 20% reduction in the UK.
In conclusion, while individuals must take responsibility for their own health, governments have a crucial role to play in regulating sugar consumption to protect public health.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear and supported position, addressing both parts of the question thoroughly. Arguments are well-developed with relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a wide range of cohesive devices effectively.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common words used appropriately. Some errors in word choice but they do not impede communication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence structures with some errors in complex forms.
Band 9.0 Answer
The role of governments versus individuals in reducing sugar consumption is a contentious issue. While personal responsibility is essential, I contend that governments must take a more assertive stance in regulating sugar intake to safeguard public health.
Advocates of individual responsibility posit that people should have the autonomy to make their own dietary choices. Indeed, education and awareness campaigns can be effective in empowering individuals to make healthier decisions. For example, the Australian government's National Healthy Schools Program has successfully promoted healthier eating habits among students by providing resources and support to schools.
However, the efficacy of individual choices is often undermined by the pervasive influence of the food industry. Governments must intervene to counteract this influence through policies such as sugar taxes, clear labeling, and restrictions on marketing to vulnerable populations. For instance, the implementation of sugar taxes in various countries has led to a significant reduction in the consumption of sugary beverages, with France reporting a 15% decrease in purchases following the introduction of such a tax.
In conclusion, while individuals must take responsibility for their own health, governments have a crucial role to play in regulating sugar consumption to ensure the well-being of the population.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear, supported, and extended position, addressing both parts of the question thoroughly. Arguments are well-developed with relevant, extended, and supported examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a wide range of cohesive devices effectively and flexibly.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common words used appropriately and flexibly. Some sophisticated vocabulary used effectively.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence structures with frequent error-free sentences. Errors, if any, do not impede communication.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.) - Causing or likely to cause controversy.
- Example: The debate over sugar consumption is a contentious issue.
- Empower (v.) - Give someone the authority or power to do something.
- Example: Educating people empowers them to make healthier choices.
- Proactive (adj.) - Creating or controlling a situation by causing something to happen rather than responding to it after it has happened.
- Example: Governments must take a proactive role in regulating sugar consumption.
- Pervasive (adj.) - Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.
- Example: The pervasive influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Counteract (v.) - Act in opposition to something in order to reduce its effectiveness.
- Example: Governments must counteract the influence of the food industry.
- Autonomy (n.) - The right or condition of self-government.
- Example: People should have the autonomy to make their own dietary choices.
- Assertive (adj.) - Having or showing a confident and forceful personality.
- Example: Governments must take a more assertive stance in regulating sugar intake.
- Safeguard (v.) - Protect from harm or damage.
- Example: Governments must safeguard public health by regulating sugar consumption.
- Efficacy (n.) - The ability to produce a desired result or effect.
- Example: The efficacy of individual choices is often undermined by the food industry.
- Undermine (v.) - Gradually make something weaker or less effective.
- Example: The influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Pervasive (adj.) - Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.
- Example: The pervasive influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Counteract (v.) - Act in opposition to something in order to reduce its effectiveness.
- Example: Governments must counteract the influence of the food industry.
- Autonomy (n.) - The right or condition of self-government.
- Example: People should have the autonomy to make their own dietary choices.
- Assertive (adj.) - Having or showing a confident and forceful personality.
- Example: Governments must take a more assertive stance in regulating sugar intake.
- Safeguard (v.) - Protect from harm or damage.
- Example: Governments must safeguard public health by regulating sugar consumption.
- Efficacy (n.) - The ability to produce a desired result or effect.
- Example: The efficacy of individual choices is often undermined by the food industry.
- Undermine (v.) - Gradually make something weaker or less effective.
- Example: The influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Pervasive (adj.) - Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.
- Example: The pervasive influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Counteract (v.) - Act in opposition to something in order to reduce its effectiveness.
- Example: Governments must counteract the influence of the food industry.
- Autonomy (n.) - The right or condition of self-government.
- Example: People should have the autonomy to make their own dietary choices.
- Assertive (adj.) - Having or showing a confident and forceful personality.
- Example: Governments must take a more assertive stance in regulating sugar intake.
- Safeguard (v.) - Protect from harm or damage.
- Example: Governments must safeguard public health by regulating sugar consumption.
- Efficacy (n.) - The ability to produce a desired result or effect.
- Example: The efficacy of individual choices is often undermined by the food industry.
- Undermine (v.) - Gradually make something weaker or less effective.
- Example: The influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
- Pervasive (adj.) - Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.
- Example: The pervasive influence of the food industry undermines individual choices.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Focusing on Only One Part of the Question: Many students fail to address both parts of the two-part question, resulting in a lower task response score.
- Lack of Specific Examples: Students often make general statements without providing specific examples to support their arguments, which weakens their responses.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using repetitive or inappropriate vocabulary can lower the lexical resource score. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary accurately.
- Inadequate Coherence and Cohesion: Poor organization and lack of clear progression between ideas can make the response difficult to follow, affecting the coherence and cohesion score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors, especially in complex sentence structures, can significantly impact the grammatical range and accuracy score.
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