IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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The Prompt
Some people believe that eating sugar is harmful to health and should be avoided, while others argue that sugar consumption has positive effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Sample Answer
The topic of sugar consumption is controversial. On one hand, sugar is bad for health. It causes obesity and diabetes. Many people eat too much sugar and get sick. On the other hand, sugar has benefits. It gives energy and makes food taste good. Some people need sugar for their jobs. In my opinion, sugar is not good, but people should not eat too much.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but does not extend or support it sufficiently. The arguments are simplistic.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with limited range and some errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors but can convey basic meaning.
Band 7.0 Answer
Sample Answer
The debate surrounding sugar consumption has intensified in recent years. Proponents of sugar argue that it provides quick energy and enhances the flavor of food, which can improve mood and enjoyment. For instance, athletes often consume sugar-rich foods before competitions to boost performance. Conversely, critics highlight the detrimental effects of excessive sugar intake, such as obesity, diabetes, and tooth decay. According to the World Health Organization, sugar consumption should be limited to less than 10% of daily caloric intake. In my view, while sugar has some benefits, the negative health impacts outweigh the positives, and moderation is key.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some extension and support. The arguments are relevant but could be more developed.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and some use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexical items but occasional errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but generally conveys meaning effectively.
Band 8.0 Answer
Sample Answer
The issue of sugar consumption has sparked considerable debate. Advocates of sugar consumption contend that it serves as a vital source of energy and enhances the palatability of food, thereby contributing to overall well-being. For example, sugar is often added to meals to improve taste, which can encourage better nutrition intake. Additionally, sugar is used in various medical treatments to provide quick energy to patients. However, opponents argue that excessive sugar intake leads to severe health issues such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. Research from Harvard University indicates that high sugar consumption is linked to a 20% increase in the risk of heart disease. In my opinion, while sugar has its uses, the health risks associated with its overconsumption are far more significant, and regulatory measures should be implemented to control its intake.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexical items and few errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Makes occasional grammatical errors but generally conveys meaning effectively with a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
Band 9.0 Answer
Sample Answer
The contentious issue of sugar consumption has garnered significant attention in recent years. Proponents of sugar argue that it plays a crucial role in providing immediate energy and enhancing the flavor profile of food, thereby contributing to overall enjoyment and nutritional intake. For instance, sugar is often added to meals to improve taste, which can encourage better nutrition intake, especially among children. Additionally, sugar is used in various medical treatments to provide quick energy to patients in critical conditions. However, critics highlight the detrimental effects of excessive sugar intake, which include obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. According to a study by the American Heart Association, high sugar consumption is linked to a 30% increase in the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. In my view, while sugar has its benefits, the health risks associated with its overconsumption are far more significant, and comprehensive regulatory measures should be implemented to control its intake and educate the public about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported arguments, using relevant examples and data.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices, creating a cohesive and fluent response.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with sophisticated and less common lexical items, used with precision and flexibility.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences and only minor errors that do not impede communication.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Controversial (adjective): Debatable or disputed.
- Example: The topic of sugar consumption is controversial.
- Detrimental (adjective): Harmful or damaging.
- Example: The detrimental effects of excessive sugar intake.
- Palatability (noun): The quality of being pleasant to taste.
- Example: Sugar enhances the palatability of food.
- Intensified (verb): Made more intense or severe.
- Example: The debate surrounding sugar consumption has intensified.
- Proponents (noun): Supporters or advocates.
- Example: Proponents of sugar argue that it provides quick energy.
- Critics (noun): People who express disapproval or censure.
- Example: Critics highlight the detrimental effects of excessive sugar intake.
- Enhances (verb): Increases or improves.
- Example: Sugar enhances the flavor of food.
- Moderation (noun): The avoidance of excess or extremes.
- Example: Moderation is key in sugar consumption.
- Regulatory measures (noun phrase): Rules or actions taken to control or govern.
- Example: Regulatory measures should be implemented to control sugar intake.
- Comprehensive (adjective): Including all or nearly all elements or aspects.
- Example: Comprehensive regulatory measures should be implemented.
- Immediate (adjective): Happening or done without delay.
- Example: Sugar provides immediate energy.
- Flavor profile (noun phrase): The combination of tastes and aromas in food.
- Example: Sugar enhances the flavor profile of food.
- Nutritional intake (noun phrase): The amount of nutrients consumed.
- Example: Sugar can encourage better nutritional intake.
- Critical conditions (noun phrase): Severe or life-threatening situations.
- Example: Sugar is used to provide quick energy to patients in critical conditions.
- Comprehensive (adjective): Including all or nearly all elements or aspects.
- Example: Comprehensive regulatory measures should be implemented.
- Educate (verb): To provide with knowledge or training.
- Example: Regulatory measures should educate the public about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption.
- Contentious (adjective): Causing or likely to cause disagreement.
- Example: The contentious issue of sugar consumption.
- Garnered (verb): Gathered or collected.
- Example: The issue of sugar consumption has garnered significant attention.
- Enjoyment (noun): The state of taking pleasure in something.
- Example: Sugar contributes to overall enjoyment.
- Cardiovascular diseases (noun phrase): Diseases affecting the heart and blood vessels.
- Example: Excessive sugar intake leads to cardiovascular diseases.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the issue, leading to a lower task response score.
- Insufficient Support: Arguments are often not well-supported with examples or data, which can reduce the overall score.
- Repetition: Repeating the same points without extending or developing them can make the response seem shallow.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can obscure the meaning and lower the grammatical range and accuracy score.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using limited or inappropriate vocabulary can reduce the lexical resource score.
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