IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption – Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Prompt: Some people believe that governments should take action to reduce the amount of sugar people consume. Others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 7.5 Sample Answer

Sample Answer:

The consumption of sugar has become a significant public health concern in many countries. While some advocate for government intervention to curb sugar intake, others believe that personal responsibility should be the primary factor in managing diets. Both perspectives have merit, but a balanced approach is necessary.

On one hand, governments have a responsibility to protect public health. By implementing policies such as sugar taxes or limiting sugar content in processed foods, authorities can encourage healthier eating habits. For instance, countries like Mexico and the UK have introduced sugar taxes, which have shown promising results in reducing sugar consumption. Additionally, public awareness campaigns can educate citizens about the dangers of excessive sugar intake, leading to more informed dietary choices.

On the other hand, individuals must take responsibility for their own health. Personal discipline and education are crucial in maintaining a balanced diet. People should be aware of the nutritional value of the foods they consume and make conscious efforts to limit sugar intake. For example, reading food labels and choosing healthier alternatives can significantly reduce sugar consumption. Moreover, personal responsibility fosters a sense of autonomy and self-control, which are essential for long-term health benefits.

In conclusion, while government intervention can play a role in reducing sugar consumption, individuals must also take responsibility for their dietary choices. A combination of public policies and personal discipline is the most effective way to address the issue of excessive sugar intake.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position and addresses both sides of the argument. The arguments are supported with relevant examples, demonstrating a logical progression of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The response is well-organized with clear paragraphing and effective use of linking words. The ideas flow logically, making it easy to follow.

Lexical Resource (LR): The vocabulary is varied and precise, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are some minor errors, but they do not impede understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The grammar is generally accurate, with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are occasional errors, but they are not frequent enough to affect the overall score.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Curb (verb) - to restrain or control something. Example: The government aims to curb sugar consumption through taxation.
2. Intervention (noun) - the act of intervening. Example: Government intervention in public health policies is essential.
3. Implement (verb) - to put something into effect. Example: The new policy will be implemented next year.
4. Promising (adjective) - giving a good impression of future success. Example: The results of the sugar tax are promising.
5. Autonomy (noun) - the right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is crucial for making healthy choices.
6. Discipline (noun) - the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. Example: Personal discipline is key to maintaining a healthy diet.
7. Conscious (adjective) - aware of and responding to one's surroundings. Example: Conscious efforts to reduce sugar intake are necessary.
8. Nutritional (adjective) - relating to nutrition. Example: The nutritional value of foods should be considered.
9. Autonomy (noun) - the right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is crucial for making healthy choices.
10. Foster (verb) - to encourage the development of something. Example: Personal responsibility fosters a sense of autonomy.
11. Significantly (adverb) - in a significant manner. Example: Reading food labels can significantly reduce sugar intake.
12. Alternatives (noun) - something available as a substitute. Example: Choosing healthier alternatives can reduce sugar consumption.
13. Essential (adjective) - absolutely necessary. Example: Personal responsibility is essential for long-term health benefits.
14. Autonomy (noun) - the right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is crucial for making healthy choices.
15. Foster (verb) - to encourage the development of something. Example: Personal responsibility fosters a sense of autonomy.
16. Significantly (adverb) - in a significant manner. Example: Reading food labels can significantly reduce sugar intake.
17. Alternatives (noun) - something available as a substitute. Example: Choosing healthier alternatives can reduce sugar consumption.
18. Essential (adjective) - absolutely necessary. Example: Personal responsibility is essential for long-term health benefits.
19. Autonomy (noun) - the right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is crucial for making healthy choices.
20. Foster (verb) - to encourage the development of something. Example: Personal responsibility fosters a sense of autonomy.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Students often fail to present a clear opinion, making the response unclear and confusing.
2. Inadequate Examples: Using vague or irrelevant examples can weaken the argument and reduce the score.
3. Poor Organization: Poor paragraphing and lack of logical flow can make the response difficult to follow.
4. Limited Vocabulary: Using repetitive or basic vocabulary can limit the lexical resource score.
5. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can significantly impact the overall score.

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