IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Some people believe that governments should take action to limit sugar consumption. Others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.5 Answer

The Problem of Sugar Consumption

In recent years, sugar consumption has become a significant health concern. Some people believe that governments should take action to limit sugar intake, while others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. This essay will discuss both views.

On one hand, governments have a responsibility to protect the health of their citizens. By implementing policies such as sugar taxes or restrictions on advertising, governments can encourage people to consume less sugar. For example, countries like Mexico have introduced sugar taxes, which have been shown to reduce sugar consumption. Additionally, governments can provide education campaigns to inform people about the dangers of excessive sugar intake.

On the other hand, some people believe that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. They argue that it is up to each person to make healthy choices and that governments should not interfere with personal freedoms. For instance, some people may enjoy eating sugary foods and do not want the government to tell them what they can or cannot eat. Furthermore, individuals have the right to choose what they eat, and it is not the government's role to dictate their dietary habits.

In conclusion, both views have merit. While governments have a responsibility to protect public health, individuals also have the right to make their own choices. A balanced approach, combining government policies with personal responsibility, is likely the most effective way to address the problem of sugar consumption.

Band 7.0 Answer

The Role of Government in Limiting Sugar Consumption

The issue of sugar consumption has gained significant attention in recent years due to its impact on public health. While some argue that governments should take action to limit sugar intake, others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. This essay will explore both perspectives.

Those who support government intervention argue that it is necessary to protect public health. Governments can implement policies such as sugar taxes, restrictions on advertising, and subsidies for healthier foods. For example, the UK introduced a sugar tax in 2018, which has been effective in reducing sugar content in beverages. Additionally, governments can fund public health campaigns to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption. These measures can help individuals make healthier choices without restricting their personal freedoms.

Conversely, those who oppose government intervention argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. They believe that people have the right to choose what they eat and that government policies can be intrusive. For instance, some people may enjoy eating sugary foods and do not want the government to dictate their dietary habits. Furthermore, individuals have the ability to make informed choices about their health, and it is not the government's role to tell them what to eat.

In conclusion, both views have valid points. While government intervention can be effective in promoting public health, individuals should also take responsibility for their own diets. A balanced approach, combining government policies with personal responsibility, is likely the most effective way to address the issue of sugar consumption.

Band 8.0 Answer

Balancing Government Action and Personal Responsibility in Addressing Sugar Consumption

The global rise in sugar consumption has become a pressing public health issue, prompting debates about the role of governments and individuals in addressing this problem. This essay will examine both perspectives and argue for a balanced approach.

Proponents of government intervention contend that it is necessary to protect public health. Governments can implement a range of policies, such as sugar taxes, restrictions on advertising, and subsidies for healthier foods. For example, Mexico's sugar tax has been successful in reducing sugar consumption, while the UK's sugar tax has led to a significant reduction in sugar content in beverages. Additionally, governments can fund public health campaigns to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar intake. These measures can help individuals make healthier choices without restricting their personal freedoms.

However, those who oppose government intervention argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. They believe that people have the right to choose what they eat and that government policies can be intrusive. For instance, some people may enjoy eating sugary foods and do not want the government to dictate their dietary habits. Furthermore, individuals have the ability to make informed choices about their health, and it is not the government's role to tell them what to eat.

In conclusion, both views have merit. While government intervention can be effective in promoting public health, individuals should also take responsibility for their own diets. A balanced approach, combining government policies with personal responsibility, is likely the most effective way to address the issue of sugar consumption. Governments can provide the necessary support and education, while individuals can make informed choices about their health.

Scoring Breakdown

Band 6.5 Answer

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position but lacks depth in development. Addresses the task but may not fully explore both views.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized but may lack clear progression. Some use of cohesive devices but not always effectively.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary but may lack precision or nuance. Some errors in word choice or collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures but may have frequent grammatical errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development. Addresses the task and explores both views but may lack depth in analysis.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Effective use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of vocabulary with some precision and nuance. Few errors in word choice or collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a range of sentence structures with some complexity. Few grammatical errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with thorough development. Addresses the task and explores both views with depth and analysis.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Effective use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precision and nuance. Few errors in word choice or collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a wide range of sentence structures with complexity. Few grammatical errors.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Significant: Important or noticeable. Example: The problem of sugar consumption has become a significant health concern.
2. Implement: To put into effect. Example: Governments can implement policies such as sugar taxes.
3. Effective: Successful in producing a desired result. Example: These measures can be effective in promoting public health.
4. Informed: Based on knowledge or understanding. Example: Individuals have the ability to make informed choices.
5. Pressing: Requiring immediate attention. Example: The global rise in sugar consumption has become a pressing public health issue.
6. Proponent: A person who supports a particular idea or cause. Example: Proponents of government intervention contend that it is necessary.
7. Intrusive: Involving unwanted interference. Example: Some people may find government policies intrusive.
8. Subsidy: A grant of money provided by the government. Example: Governments can provide subsidies for healthier foods.
9. Campaign: A planned series of actions to achieve a particular goal. Example: Governments can fund public health campaigns.
10. Dictate: To give orders or instructions. Example: Some people do not want the government to dictate their dietary habits.
11. Promote: To support or encourage something. Example: These measures can help promote public health.
12. Awareness: Knowledge or understanding of a situation or subject. Example: Governments can raise awareness about the dangers of sugar.
13. Measure: A course of action taken to achieve a result. Example: Governments can implement a range of measures.
14. Perspective: A particular attitude towards or way of regarding something. Example: This essay will examine both perspectives.
15. Balanced: Having different elements in the correct proportions. Example: A balanced approach is likely the most effective way.
16. Range: The extent of variation or diversity. Example: The essay uses a range of vocabulary.
17. Precision: The quality of being exact and accurate. Example: The vocabulary is used with precision.
18. Nuance: A subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound. Example: The vocabulary has nuance and depth.
19. Complexity: The state of having many interconnected parts. Example: The sentence structures have complexity.
20. Progression: The process of developing gradually. Example: The ideas have clear progression.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Depth: Many students provide a surface-level discussion without exploring the nuances of the topic.
2. Poor Organization: Some students fail to organize their ideas logically, leading to a disjointed essay.
3. Vague Vocabulary: Using vague or imprecise vocabulary can weaken the argument and reduce the overall score.
4. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can distract the reader and lower the score.
5. Inadequate Task Response: Some students fail to fully address the task, either by not discussing both views or not providing a clear opinion.

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