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IELTS Writing Task 2:
Sugar Consumption - Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

See a Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer on sugar consumption with full scoring breakdown. Learn key vocabulary and avoid common mistakes.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption - Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown | English AIdol Blog

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See a Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample answer on sugar consumption with full scoring breakdown. Learn key vocabulary and avoid common mistakes.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption - Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

IELTS Writing Task 2 Prompt:

Some people believe that the increasing consumption of sugar is the main cause of health problems in modern societies. Others argue that there are other factors that contribute to this issue. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.0 Sample Answer

Band 6.0 Answer:

The problem of health issues is becoming more serious in today's world. Many people think that the main reason for this is the high consumption of sugar. However, I believe that there are other factors that also play an important role.

On one hand, it is true that eating too much sugar can cause health problems. For example, sugar can lead to obesity, which is a big problem in many countries. Also, sugar can cause tooth decay and other dental problems. Moreover, sugar is often found in processed foods, which are not good for our health. Therefore, reducing sugar consumption can help to improve health.

On the other hand, there are other factors that contribute to health problems. One of these factors is the lack of exercise. Many people have sedentary lifestyles, which means they do not get enough physical activity. This can lead to various health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes. Another factor is the consumption of unhealthy foods, such as fast food and junk food. These foods are often high in fat and calories, which can also cause health problems.

In conclusion, while sugar consumption is a significant factor in health problems, it is not the only one. Other factors, such as lack of exercise and unhealthy food choices, also play an important role. Therefore, it is important to address all of these factors in order to improve health.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR):

  • Presents a clear position but with some irrelevant or unclear points.
  • Addresses the task but with limited development of ideas.
  • Score: 5.0-6.5

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):

  • Uses cohesive devices but sometimes inappropriately or mechanically.
  • Ideas are logically organized but with some unclear progression.
  • Score: 5.0-6.5

Lexical Resource (LR):

  • Uses a mix of appropriate and inaccurate vocabulary.
  • Attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some errors.
  • Score: 5.0-6.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):

  • Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
  • Makes frequent grammatical errors that may impede understanding.
  • Score: 5.0-6.5

Vocabulary Highlights

  1. Consumption (noun) - the act of eating or drinking something.
  • Example: The consumption of sugar has increased significantly in recent years.
  1. Obesity (noun) - the condition of being excessively overweight.
  • Example: Obesity is a major health problem in many countries.
  1. Sedentary (adjective) - involving little exercise or physical activity.
  • Example: A sedentary lifestyle can lead to various health problems.
  1. Processed foods (noun) - foods that have been altered from their natural state.
  • Example: Processed foods are often high in sugar and fat.
  1. Dental problems (noun) - issues related to the teeth and gums.
  • Example: Sugar can cause dental problems such as tooth decay.
  1. Heart disease (noun) - conditions that affect the heart.
  • Example: Lack of exercise can lead to heart disease.
  1. Diabetes (noun) - a chronic condition that affects the way the body metabolizes sugar.
  • Example: Diabetes is a serious health problem that can be caused by various factors.
  1. Fast food (noun) - food that is prepared and served quickly.
  • Example: Fast food is often high in fat and calories.
  1. Junk food (noun) - food that is high in calories but low in nutritional value.
  • Example: Junk food can contribute to health problems such as obesity.
  1. Calories (noun) - a unit of energy that is used to measure the energy content of food.
  • Example: Fast food is often high in calories.
  1. Tooth decay (noun) - the gradual destruction of the tooth's structure.
  • Example: Sugar can cause tooth decay.
  1. Physical activity (noun) - any bodily movement produced by skeletal muscles that requires energy.
  • Example: Lack of physical activity can lead to health problems.
  1. Healthy lifestyle (noun) - a way of living that promotes good health.
  • Example: A healthy lifestyle can help prevent health problems.
  1. Nutritional value (noun) - the amount of nutrients in food.
  • Example: Junk food is low in nutritional value.
  1. Chronic condition (noun) - a long-term health problem that requires ongoing management.
  • Example: Diabetes is a chronic condition that can be caused by various factors.

Common Mistakes Students Make

  1. Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position in their response, making it unclear what their stance is on the issue.
  1. Irrelevant Points: Students often include points that are not relevant to the task, which can detract from the overall quality of the response.
  1. Limited Development of Ideas: Many students do not develop their ideas fully, leading to a shallow response that lacks depth.
  1. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can make the response difficult to understand and lower the overall score.
  1. Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using inappropriate or inaccurate vocabulary can make the response less effective and lower the Lexical Resource score.

Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol

Want to see how your response measures up? Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol. Our advanced AI scoring system provides detailed feedback to help you improve your writing skills and achieve your target band score.

Band 7.0 Sample Answer

Band 7.0 Answer:

The increasing consumption of sugar has become a significant concern in modern societies, with many people attributing it to a range of health problems. However, while sugar consumption is undoubtedly a contributing factor, it is not the sole cause of health issues. Other factors, such as lack of exercise and poor dietary habits, also play a crucial role.

On one hand, the high consumption of sugar can lead to various health problems. For instance, excessive sugar intake can contribute to obesity, which is a major health concern in many countries. Additionally, sugar can cause dental problems, such as tooth decay, which can be painful and costly to treat. Furthermore, sugar is often found in processed foods, which are typically high in calories and low in nutritional value. Therefore, reducing sugar consumption can help to improve overall health and well-being.

On the other hand, there are other factors that contribute to health problems. One of these factors is the lack of physical activity. Many people lead sedentary lifestyles, which can lead to various health problems, such as heart disease and diabetes. Another factor is the consumption of unhealthy foods, such as fast food and junk food. These foods are often high in fat and calories, which can contribute to weight gain and other health problems. Therefore, addressing these factors is also essential for improving health.

In conclusion, while sugar consumption is a significant factor in health problems, it is not the only one. Other factors, such as lack of exercise and unhealthy food choices, also play an important role. Therefore, it is important to address all of these factors in order to improve health and well-being.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR):

  • Presents a clear position with relevant and extended ideas.
  • Addresses the task with a clear progression and development of ideas.
  • Score: 6.0-7.5

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):

  • Uses cohesive devices effectively but may occasionally use them inappropriately.
  • Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
  • Score: 6.0-7.5

Lexical Resource (LR):

  • Uses a mix of appropriate and less common vocabulary with some errors.
  • Attempts to use a wide range of vocabulary but with some inaccuracies.
  • Score: 6.0-7.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):

  • Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.
  • Makes occasional grammatical errors that may impede understanding.
  • Score: 6.0-7.5

Band 8.0 Sample Answer

Band 8.0 Answer:

The escalating consumption of sugar has emerged as a pressing issue in contemporary societies, with a growing body of evidence linking it to a myriad of health problems. While sugar consumption is undoubtedly a significant factor, it is essential to recognize that other elements, such as sedentary lifestyles and poor dietary habits, also contribute to the prevalence of health issues.

On one hand, the excessive intake of sugar can have detrimental effects on health. For example, high sugar consumption is strongly correlated with obesity, which has reached epidemic proportions in many countries. Moreover, sugar is a primary contributor to dental problems, such as cavities and gum disease, which can lead to severe health complications if left untreated. Additionally, sugar is a common ingredient in processed foods, which are often devoid of essential nutrients and high in empty calories. Therefore, reducing sugar consumption can have a profound impact on overall health and well-being.

On the other hand, other factors also play a pivotal role in the prevalence of health problems. One such factor is the lack of physical activity, which is a hallmark of modern lifestyles. Sedentary behaviors, such as prolonged sitting and minimal exercise, can lead to a host of health issues, including cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes. Another contributing factor is the consumption of unhealthy foods, such as fast food and junk food, which are typically high in saturated fats, trans fats, and sodium. These foods can contribute to weight gain, high blood pressure, and other health problems. Therefore, addressing these factors is crucial for mitigating the prevalence of health issues.

In conclusion, while sugar consumption is a significant contributor to health problems, it is not the sole cause. Other factors, such as lack of exercise and unhealthy food choices, also play a vital role. Therefore, a multifaceted approach that addresses all of these factors is essential for improving health and well-being in modern societies.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR):

  • Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
  • Addresses the task with a clear progression and development of ideas.
  • Score: 7.0-8.5

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):

  • Uses cohesive devices effectively and appropriately.
  • Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and development.
  • Score: 7.0-8.5

Lexical Resource (LR):

  • Uses a wide range of appropriate and less common vocabulary with some flexibility and precision.
  • Attempts to use a wide range of vocabulary with some inaccuracies.
  • Score: 7.0-8.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):

  • Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some flexibility and accuracy.
  • Makes occasional grammatical errors that do not impede understanding.
  • Score: 7.0-8.5

Band 9.0 Sample Answer

Band 9.0 Answer:

The burgeoning consumption of sugar has become a critical public health concern in the 21st century, with mounting evidence implicating it as a primary contributor to a plethora of health issues. However, it is imperative to adopt a holistic perspective and acknowledge that other factors, such as physical inactivity and poor dietary choices, also exert a significant influence on health outcomes.

On one hand, the overconsumption of sugar can have profound and far-reaching consequences on health. For instance, the correlation between high sugar intake and obesity is well-documented, with numerous studies demonstrating that excessive sugar consumption can lead to weight gain and an increased risk of obesity-related comorbidities. Furthermore, sugar is a primary etiological factor in dental caries, which can result in severe pain, tooth loss, and even life-threatening infections if left untreated. Additionally, sugar is a ubiquitous ingredient in ultra-processed foods, which are typically calorie-dense and nutrient-poor, contributing to the global burden of non-communicable diseases. Therefore, reducing sugar consumption is a critical component of any comprehensive public health strategy aimed at improving population health.

On the other hand, other factors also play a pivotal role in shaping health outcomes. One such factor is the global shift towards sedentary lifestyles, which is characterized by prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity. This shift has been linked to an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain types of cancer. Another contributing factor is the widespread consumption of unhealthy foods, such as fast food and junk food, which are typically high in unhealthy fats, added sugars, and sodium. These foods can contribute to dyslipidemia, hypertension, and other metabolic abnormalities, which can increase the risk of chronic diseases. Therefore, a multifaceted approach that addresses all of these factors is essential for promoting health and well-being in the 21st century.

In conclusion, while sugar consumption is a significant contributor to health problems, it is not the sole determinant of health outcomes. Other factors, such as physical inactivity and unhealthy food choices, also play a crucial role. Therefore, a comprehensive and integrated approach that addresses all of these factors is necessary for improving health and well-being in modern societies.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR):

  • Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
  • Addresses the task with a clear progression and development of ideas.
  • Score: 8.0-9.0

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):

  • Uses cohesive devices effectively and appropriately.
  • Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and development.
  • Score: 8.0-9.0

Lexical Resource (LR):

  • Uses a wide range of appropriate and less common vocabulary with flexibility and precision.
  • Uses vocabulary effectively, with rare inaccuracies.
  • Score: 8.0-9.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):

  • Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with flexibility and accuracy.
  • Makes minimal grammatical errors that do not impede understanding.
  • Score: 8.0-9.0

Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol

Want to see how your response measures up? Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol. Our advanced AI scoring system provides detailed feedback to help you improve your writing skills and achieve your target band score.