IELTS Writing Task 2: Sugar Consumption (Agree Disagree) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Some people believe that governments should take action to limit sugar consumption. Others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own diets. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

The government should control sugar intake because people cannot control themselves. Some people say that individuals should be responsible for their own diets, but this is not true.

Firstly, governments should limit sugar because people eat too much. Many products have sugar, and people do not know how much they consume. For example, soft drinks and candies have a lot of sugar, and people eat them every day. If the government controls sugar, people will be healthier.

However, some say individuals should be responsible. They believe that people can choose what to eat. But this is not always true. Many people do not know about nutrition, and they eat unhealthy food. Also, food companies add sugar to products, and people cannot avoid it.

In conclusion, the government should limit sugar because people cannot control their diets. Individuals should be responsible, but they need help from the government.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some unclear connections.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses simple sentence forms with frequent errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

Governments should implement policies to reduce sugar consumption, as excessive intake leads to serious health issues. While personal responsibility plays a role, collective action is necessary to address this public health concern.

On one hand, individuals must take responsibility for their diets. Educated consumers can make informed choices about what they eat. For instance, people can read nutrition labels and opt for healthier alternatives. However, relying solely on personal responsibility is insufficient. Many individuals lack access to nutritional education or live in environments where unhealthy food is more accessible and affordable.

On the other hand, government intervention is crucial. Policies such as sugar taxes, clear labeling, and restrictions on marketing unhealthy food to children can significantly reduce sugar consumption. For example, countries like Mexico have seen a decrease in sugary drink consumption after implementing sugar taxes. Additionally, governments can subsidize healthier food options, making them more affordable for all socioeconomic groups.

In conclusion, while personal responsibility is important, government action is necessary to address the widespread issue of excessive sugar consumption. A combination of education, regulation, and policy changes can create a healthier population.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

The debate over who bears responsibility for reducing sugar consumption—governments or individuals—is multifaceted. While personal accountability is essential, governmental policies are more effective in addressing the pervasive issue of excessive sugar intake.

Proponents of individual responsibility argue that people should educate themselves about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption and make healthier choices. This perspective is valid to some extent, as informed consumers can opt for low-sugar alternatives and maintain balanced diets. For example, individuals can choose to cook at home using fresh ingredients rather than relying on processed foods. However, this approach has limitations. Many people lack the time, resources, or knowledge to make such choices, particularly in societies where convenience foods are ubiquitous.

Conversely, governmental intervention can have a broader impact. Policies such as sugar taxes, mandatory nutrition labeling, and restrictions on advertising unhealthy foods can significantly alter consumer behavior. For instance, the UK's sugar tax has led to a reduction in sugar content in soft drinks. Furthermore, governments can invest in public health campaigns to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption. These measures can create an environment that supports healthier choices, benefiting the entire population.

In conclusion, while personal responsibility is important, governmental policies are more effective in addressing the widespread issue of excessive sugar consumption. A combination of education, regulation, and policy changes can create a healthier population.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items and some sophisticated vocabulary.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.

Band 9.0 Answer

The role of governments in mitigating excessive sugar consumption is paramount, as individual responsibility alone is insufficient to address this pervasive public health issue. While personal accountability plays a part, systemic changes are necessary to create an environment that promotes healthier choices.

Advocates for individual responsibility contend that people should be held accountable for their dietary choices. This perspective is grounded in the principle of personal autonomy and the belief that informed consumers can make healthier decisions. For example, individuals can choose to limit their intake of sugary snacks and opt for fresh fruits and vegetables. However, this approach overlooks the systemic barriers that many people face. In many societies, unhealthy food options are more accessible, affordable, and heavily marketed, making it difficult for individuals to make healthier choices.

In contrast, governmental intervention can address these systemic issues more effectively. Policies such as sugar taxes, mandatory nutrition labeling, and restrictions on advertising unhealthy foods to children can significantly alter consumer behavior. For instance, countries like Mexico have seen a marked decrease in sugary drink consumption following the implementation of sugar taxes. Additionally, governments can invest in public health campaigns to raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption. These measures can create an environment that supports healthier choices, benefiting the entire population.

In conclusion, while personal responsibility is important, governmental policies are more effective in addressing the widespread issue of excessive sugar consumption. A combination of education, regulation, and policy changes can create a healthier population. By taking a comprehensive approach, governments can mitigate the public health risks associated with excessive sugar intake and promote overall well-being.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported arguments, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the task.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices, creating a coherent and cohesive response.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items and sophisticated vocabulary, demonstrating a high level of lexical resource.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating a high level of grammatical range and accuracy.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Excessive: (adjective) More than is necessary or desirable. Example: Excessive sugar consumption leads to health problems.
2. Pervasive: (adjective) Spreading widely throughout an area or group of people. Example: The issue of excessive sugar consumption is pervasive in modern societies.
3. Systemic: (adjective) Relating to a system or systems. Example: Systemic changes are necessary to address the issue of excessive sugar consumption.
4. Ubiquitous: (adjective) Present, appearing, or found everywhere. Example: Unhealthy food options are ubiquitous in many societies.
5. Autonomy: (noun) The right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is an important principle in the debate over sugar consumption.
6. Mitigate: (verb) Make less severe, serious, or painful. Example: Governments can mitigate the public health risks associated with excessive sugar intake.
7. Barrier: (noun) An obstacle that impedes action or progress. Example: Systemic barriers make it difficult for individuals to make healthier choices.
8. Comprehensive: (adjective) Including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something. Example: A comprehensive approach is necessary to address the issue of excessive sugar consumption.
9. Informed: (adjective) Having or showing knowledge of a subject or situation. Example: Informed consumers can make healthier dietary choices.
10. Accessible: (adjective) (of a place) able to be reached or entered. Example: Unhealthy food options are more accessible than healthy ones in many societies.
11. Affordable: (adjective) Inexpensive; reasonably priced. Example: Unhealthy food options are often more affordable than healthy ones.
12. Marketed: (verb) To promote, advertise, or sell (a product or service). Example: Unhealthy food options are heavily marketed to consumers.
13. Autonomy: (noun) The right or condition of self-government. Example: Personal autonomy is an important principle in the debate over sugar consumption.
14. Mitigate: (verb) Make less severe, serious, or painful. Example: Governments can mitigate the public health risks associated with excessive sugar intake.
15. Barrier: (noun) An obstacle that impedes action or progress. Example: Systemic barriers make it difficult for individuals to make healthier choices.
16. Comprehensive: (adjective) Including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something. Example: A comprehensive approach is necessary to address the issue of excessive sugar consumption.
17. Informed: (adjective) Having or showing knowledge of a subject or situation. Example: Informed consumers can make healthier dietary choices.
18. Accessible: (adjective) (of a place) able to be reached or entered. Example: Unhealthy food options are more accessible than healthy ones in many societies.
19. Affordable: (adjective) Inexpensive; reasonably priced. Example: Unhealthy food options are often more affordable than healthy ones.
20. Marketed: (verb) To promote, advertise, or sell (a product or service). Example: Unhealthy food options are heavily marketed to consumers.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position in their essays, leading to a lower score in Task Response.
2. Insufficient Development: Some students present their ideas but do not develop them with examples or analysis, resulting in a lower score in Coherence and Cohesion.
3. Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary can lead to a lower score in Lexical Resource. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items.
4. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can lead to a lower score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Students should aim to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with as few errors as possible.
5. Poor Organization: Poor organization can lead to a lower score in Coherence and Cohesion. Students should aim to organize their ideas logically with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.

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