IELTS Writing Task 2: Success (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Prompt: Success is often measured by wealth and status. However, others argue that true success is defined by personal fulfillment and happiness. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Sample Answer:

Success is often seen as having money and a good position in society. Many people think this is the only way to be successful. However, others believe that being happy and fulfilled is more important than wealth. I agree with this second view.

Firstly, people who have money and status often have a lot of stress. They work long hours and have to deal with many problems. For example, a businessman might have a lot of money, but he might also have health problems because he works too much. This shows that wealth does not always lead to happiness.

On the other hand, people who focus on personal fulfillment often have better lives. For instance, a teacher might not earn a lot of money, but she might feel happy because she helps children learn. This shows that happiness is more important than wealth.

In conclusion, I believe that true success is about being happy and fulfilled. Money and status are not as important as having a good life.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: Band 6.0 - Addresses both views but with limited development. The opinion is clear but not fully supported.
• Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
• Lexical Resource: Band 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and limited vocabulary. Some errors in word choice and collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0 - Sentences are mostly error-free but with some basic grammatical mistakes.

Band 7.0 Answer

Sample Answer:

The notion of success is often equated with financial prosperity and social standing. However, an increasing number of individuals contend that genuine success is better measured by personal contentment and happiness. I firmly believe that the latter perspective holds more weight.

To begin with, the pursuit of wealth and status can lead to a myriad of issues. For example, high-powered executives often face immense pressure to perform, leading to stress-related illnesses. A study by the American Psychological Association found that 76% of executives reported experiencing significant stress. This underscores the notion that material success does not necessarily equate to personal well-being.

Conversely, those who prioritize personal fulfillment tend to lead more balanced lives. For instance, individuals who pursue careers in the arts or education often derive a deep sense of satisfaction from their work, even if it does not bring substantial financial rewards. A survey conducted by the University of Cambridge revealed that 85% of teachers reported high levels of job satisfaction, despite modest salaries.

In conclusion, while societal measures of success such as wealth and status are important, they pale in comparison to the intrinsic value of personal happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, it is crucial to redefine success in terms of individual well-being rather than material achievements.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: Band 7.0 - Addresses both views with a clear position. Ideas are supported with relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively.
• Lexical Resource: Band 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately. Some less common lexical items are used with some awareness of style.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0 - Sentences are mostly error-free with a mix of simple and complex structures.

Band 8.0 Answer

Sample Answer:

The concept of success has long been debated, with some advocating that it is synonymous with financial affluence and social prestige, while others posit that it is better defined by personal satisfaction and happiness. I am inclined to support the latter viewpoint.

Proponents of the materialistic view argue that wealth and status bring security and respect. For instance, a high-ranking executive might enjoy a luxurious lifestyle and command respect from peers. However, this perspective overlooks the potential drawbacks. Research conducted by Harvard Business School indicates that 60% of high-ranking executives experience chronic stress, which can lead to severe health issues. This suggests that the pursuit of material success can have detrimental effects on one's well-being.

In contrast, those who prioritize personal fulfillment often lead more enriching lives. For example, a musician might derive immense joy from creating art, even if it does not bring substantial financial rewards. A study by the University of Oxford found that individuals who engage in creative pursuits report higher levels of life satisfaction. This underscores the notion that personal fulfillment is a more reliable indicator of success.

In conclusion, while material success has its merits, it is personal happiness and fulfillment that truly define a successful life. Therefore, it is imperative to redefine success in terms of individual well-being rather than material achievements.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: Band 8.0 - Addresses both views with a clear and supported position. Ideas are well-developed with relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively.
• Lexical Resource: Band 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately. Uses less common lexical items with some sophistication.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8.0 - Sentences are mostly error-free with a mix of simple and complex structures. Uses a variety of sentence forms effectively.

Band 9.0 Answer

Sample Answer:

The dichotomy between material success and personal fulfillment has been a subject of considerable debate. While some equate success with financial prosperity and social standing, others contend that it is better measured by personal contentment and happiness. I firmly believe that the latter perspective is more compelling.

Advocates of the materialistic view argue that wealth and status bring numerous benefits. For instance, a high-ranking executive might enjoy a luxurious lifestyle and command respect from peers. However, this perspective is not without its flaws. Research conducted by the American Psychological Association reveals that 76% of executives experience significant stress, which can lead to severe health issues. This underscores the notion that the pursuit of material success can have detrimental effects on one's well-being.

Conversely, those who prioritize personal fulfillment often lead more balanced and enriching lives. For example, a musician might derive immense joy from creating art, even if it does not bring substantial financial rewards. A study by the University of Oxford found that individuals who engage in creative pursuits report higher levels of life satisfaction. This suggests that personal fulfillment is a more reliable indicator of success.

In conclusion, while material success has its merits, it is personal happiness and fulfillment that truly define a successful life. Therefore, it is imperative to redefine success in terms of individual well-being rather than material achievements. By doing so, we can lead more fulfilling and meaningful lives.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: Band 9.0 - Addresses both views with a clear and fully supported position. Ideas are well-developed with relevant, extended, and supported examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion: Band 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively and flexibly.
• Lexical Resource: Band 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and flexibly. Uses less common lexical items with full awareness of style and collocation.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 9.0 - Sentences are error-free with a mix of simple and complex structures. Uses a variety of sentence forms effectively and flexibly.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Equate (verb) - To consider something as the same as another thing in value, importance, or meaning.

• Example: Many people equate success with wealth and status.

1. Prosperity (noun) - A successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in terms of financial or economic well-being.

• Example: Financial prosperity is often seen as a key indicator of success.

1. Contentment (noun) - A state of happiness or satisfaction.

• Example: Personal contentment is a more reliable measure of success.

1. Intrinsic (adjective) - Belonging naturally; essential.

• Example: Intrinsic value of personal happiness and fulfillment.

1. Affluence (noun) - Wealth or abundance of money, property, and other valuable possessions.

• Example: Financial affluence is often equated with success.

1. Prestige (noun) - Widespread respect and admiration felt for someone or something on the basis of a perception of their achievements or quality.

• Example: Social prestige is often seen as a measure of success.

1. Posit (verb) - To put forward as an explanation or suggestion; propose.

• Example: Others posit that success is better defined by personal satisfaction.

1. Materialistic (adjective) - Concerned with material possessions; giving too much importance to material things.

• Example: The materialistic view of success is not without its flaws.

1. Detrimental (adjective) - Tending to cause harm.

• Example: The pursuit of material success can have detrimental effects.

1. Enriching (adjective) - Making something more meaningful or rewarding.

• Example: Those who prioritize personal fulfillment often lead more enriching lives.

1. Imperative (adjective) - Of vital importance; crucial.

• Example: It is imperative to redefine success in terms of individual well-being.

1. Dichotomy (noun) - A division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

• Example: The dichotomy between material success and personal fulfillment.

1. Compelling (adjective) - Evoking interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way.

• Example: The latter perspective is more compelling.

1. Flaws (noun) - A fault or weakness in a plan, theory, or character.

• Example: This perspective is not without its flaws.

1. Flexibly (adverb) - In a way that allows a choice of approach or method.

• Example: Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively and flexibly.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Ignoring the Two-Part Question: Many students focus on one part of the question and neglect the other, leading to an incomplete response.

1. Lack of Clear Position: Students often fail to clearly state their opinion, making the response unclear and less effective.

1. Poor Organization: Responses that lack clear paragraph structure and logical flow can be difficult to follow and understand.

1. Inadequate Examples: Using vague or irrelevant examples can weaken the argument and reduce the overall score.

1. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can distract the reader and lower the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criterion.

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