IELTS Writing Task 2: Success (Discussion) – Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

Related guides:

• IELTS Writing Task 2 Renewable Energy Two Part Question…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Plastic Pollution (Advantages…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Climate Change Discussion Sample Band…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Deforestation Two Part Question Sample…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Recycling (Discussion) — Band 6/7/8/9…

Prompt (Academic Task 2)

> Some people believe success in life is measured by money and possessions. Others believe success can be measured by happiness and personal satisfaction. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write at least 250 words.

Model Answers and Scoring Breakdowns

Band 6.0 Answer

Some people think that success is having a lot of money and things. Others think success is being happy and satisfied. I agree with the second opinion.

For many people, success means having a big house, expensive car, and lots of money. They think these things show that they are successful. For example, celebrities often have many followers because they have nice things. But I think this is not the real meaning of success.

In my opinion, success should be about feeling good about yourself. If you have a job you like, good friends, and a happy family, you are successful. Money cannot buy these things. For example, a person with a lot of money might be unhappy if they do not have good relationships. A person with less money but good friends and a happy family is more successful.

In conclusion, success is not about money and things. It is about being happy and satisfied with your life. This is the most important thing.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 – Presents a position but does not extend sufficiently with relevant, supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 – Uses some cohesive devices but often fails to connect ideas logically.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 – Uses some appropriate vocabulary but lacks variety and precision.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 – Makes frequent grammatical mistakes but meaning is usually clear.

Band 7.0 Answer

The notion of success is often debated, with some associating it with material wealth while others equate it with personal contentment. I contend that true success lies in the latter.

Proponents of the materialistic view argue that success is evident in tangible assets. A person with a luxurious home or a prestigious car is often perceived as successful. For instance, business moguls are frequently admired for their opulent lifestyles. However, this perspective overlooks the emotional well-being of the individual. Wealth does not necessarily equate to happiness.

Conversely, those who prioritize personal satisfaction view success as a state of mind. A person may have modest means but still feel fulfilled if they have strong relationships and a fulfilling career. For example, a teacher who loves their job and has a supportive family is undoubtedly successful, regardless of their income. Research has shown that people with strong social connections tend to be happier and healthier.

In my view, success should be measured by inner happiness rather than material possessions. While money can provide comfort, it cannot guarantee joy. Therefore, personal satisfaction is a more reliable indicator of success.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 – Presents a clear position with some extension and support but lacks depth in discussion.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively but some connections between ideas are unclear.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 – Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary but occasionally resorts to less precise language.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with some grammatical errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

The concept of success is multifaceted, with divergent opinions on what constitutes true achievement. While some equate success with financial prosperity and material wealth, others argue that it is better measured by personal fulfillment and happiness. I firmly believe that the latter is a more accurate indicator of success.

Those who advocate for material success contend that wealth and possessions are tangible markers of achievement. A person who owns a luxury car or a spacious home is often deemed successful by societal standards. For example, entrepreneurs who accumulate vast fortunes are frequently held up as exemplars of success. However, this perspective is flawed as it disregards the emotional and psychological aspects of well-being. Wealth does not inherently lead to happiness.

On the other hand, proponents of personal fulfillment argue that success is intrinsically linked to inner contentment. A person may have modest financial resources but can still lead a fulfilling life if they have meaningful relationships and a sense of purpose. For instance, a healthcare worker who derives joy from helping others is undoubtedly successful, regardless of their material possessions. Studies have consistently shown that individuals with strong social support networks tend to report higher levels of happiness.

In my opinion, success should be defined by personal satisfaction rather than material wealth. While financial stability is important, it is not the sole determinant of a successful life. Therefore, a holistic approach that considers both material and emotional well-being is essential.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 – Presents a clear position with thorough discussion and relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas logically.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 – Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precision and appropriateness.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with minimal grammatical errors.

Band 9.0 Answer

The discourse surrounding success is often polarized, with proponents of materialistic values clashing with advocates of personal fulfillment. I argue that true success is best measured by the latter, although a balanced approach is ideal.

Materialists posit that success is epitomized by the accumulation of wealth and possessions. A person who resides in a mansion or drives a high-end vehicle is often lauded as successful. For example, tech moguls like Elon Musk are frequently cited as paragons of success due to their substantial net worth. However, this perspective is myopic as it overlooks the intangible aspects of human well-being. Money cannot buy happiness, and many wealthy individuals suffer from loneliness and stress.

Conversely, those who prioritize personal contentment contend that success is a state of mind. A person may have modest means but still lead a fulfilling life if they have strong relationships and a sense of purpose. For instance, a volunteer who dedicates their time to helping others is undoubtedly successful, regardless of their financial status. Research conducted by Harvard University has shown that social connections are a stronger predictor of happiness than wealth.

In my view, success should be defined by a harmonious blend of material stability and emotional well-being. While financial security provides a safety net, it is the quality of one's relationships and the pursuit of meaningful goals that truly define success. Therefore, a holistic approach that values both material and emotional aspects is essential for a truly successful life.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 – Presents a clear, nuanced position with thorough discussion and relevant, well-supported examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 – Uses cohesive devices effectively to create a logical and fluid argument.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 – Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precision, sophistication, and appropriateness.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with minimal errors and varied structures.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Debate (noun): A discussion or argument about a particular topic. Example: The debate on success continues to evolve.
2. Materialistic (adjective): Concerned with material possessions or wealth. Example: A materialistic view of success is flawed.
3. Contentment (noun): A state of happiness and satisfaction. Example: Personal contentment is a key indicator of success.
4. Tangible (adjective): Clear and definite; can be perceived by the senses. Example: Wealth is a tangible marker of success.
5. Overlook (verb): To fail to notice or consider. Example: The materialistic perspective overlooks emotional well-being.
6. Proponent (noun): A person who supports a particular idea or cause. Example: Proponents of personal fulfillment argue for inner happiness.
7. Fulfillment (noun): A feeling of satisfaction or achievement. Example: A fulfilling life is the ultimate goal.
8. Holistic (adjective): Considering the whole of something rather than just its parts. Example: A holistic approach to success is ideal.
9. Myopic (adjective): Lacking foresight or understanding. Example: A myopic view of success is limited.
10. Epitomized (verb): To be a perfect example of something. Example: Success is epitomized by wealth and possessions.
11. Lauded (adjective): Praised highly. Example: Successful individuals are often lauded.
12. Intangible (adjective): Not able to be touched or felt. Example: Emotional well-being is an intangible aspect of success.
13. Dedicate (verb): To commit (time, effort, etc.) to a task or purpose. Example: Volunteers dedicate their time to helping others.
14. Predictor (noun): A sign or indication of what will happen in the future. Example: Social connections are a strong predictor of happiness.
15. Harmonious (adjective): In harmony or agreement. Example: A harmonious blend of material and emotional well-being is ideal.
16. Safety net (noun): A system of support that provides security. Example: Financial security provides a safety net.
17. Meaningful (adjective): Having or possessing meaning. Example: Pursuing meaningful goals is important.
18. Paragon (noun): A model of excellence or perfection. Example: Elon Musk is a paragon of success.
19. Net worth (noun): The value of a person's assets minus their liabilities. Example: Tech moguls have substantial net worth.
20. Loneliness (noun): A feeling of sadness or distress caused by being alone. Example: Many wealthy individuals suffer from loneliness.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Oversimplifying the Discussion: Students often fail to explore both sides of the argument thoroughly, leading to a one-sided discussion.
2. Lack of Relevant Examples: Many students do not provide sufficient or relevant examples to support their arguments.
3. Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using basic or inappropriate vocabulary can lower the Lexical Resource score.
4. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can distract the examiner and lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
5. Inadequate Cohesion: Failing to use cohesive devices effectively can make the essay difficult to follow, affecting the Coherence and Cohesion score.

Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol

Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 responses scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to help you improve.