IELTS Writing Task 2: Success - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others believe that other factors, such as luck or intelligence, are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Success is often attributed to hard work and determination. However, some people believe that luck and intelligence play a bigger role. I think that both views have some truth.
Hard work is important because it helps people achieve their goals. For example, students who study hard usually get good grades. Determination is also crucial because it keeps people motivated. Without determination, people might give up when they face difficulties. However, luck can also be important. Some people are born into wealthy families, which gives them advantages that others do not have. Intelligence is also a factor because it helps people learn new things quickly and solve problems effectively.
In conclusion, both hard work and other factors like luck and intelligence are important for success. People should not rely solely on one factor but should consider all of them.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a position but with limited development. (4.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of clear progression. (5.0)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate and inaccurate vocabulary. (6.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Makes frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. (5.0)
Band 7.0 Answer
The notion of success is multifaceted, with hard work and determination often cited as key drivers. Conversely, others argue that luck and intelligence are more pivotal. I contend that while all these factors contribute to success, hard work and determination are the most critical.
Proponents of hard work and determination argue that these qualities are essential for achieving long-term goals. For instance, entrepreneurs who persevere through challenges are more likely to build successful businesses. Determination helps individuals overcome obstacles and maintain focus. However, luck can also play a significant role. People who are born into advantageous circumstances may have easier access to resources and opportunities. Intelligence, too, is a valuable asset, enabling individuals to learn quickly and adapt to new situations.
In my view, hard work and determination are the most important factors. While luck and intelligence can provide a head start, they are not sufficient on their own. People who work hard and remain determined are more likely to achieve their goals, regardless of their initial circumstances.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and support. (6.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression. (7.0)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately. (7.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Makes some grammatical errors but generally communicates effectively. (6.5)
Band 8.0 Answer
Success is a complex concept, often attributed to hard work and determination. However, some argue that luck and intelligence are more influential. I firmly believe that while all these factors play a role, hard work and determination are the most crucial.
Advocates of hard work and determination contend that these qualities are indispensable for achieving success. For example, athletes who train rigorously and maintain a strong work ethic are more likely to win competitions. Determination helps individuals stay focused and motivated, even in the face of adversity. Conversely, luck can significantly impact one's life. People who are born into affluent families may have access to better education and opportunities. Intelligence, too, is a valuable asset, enabling individuals to solve problems and make informed decisions.
In my opinion, hard work and determination are the most important factors. While luck and intelligence can provide advantages, they are not guarantees of success. People who work hard and remain determined are more likely to achieve their goals, regardless of their initial circumstances. Moreover, hard work and determination can help individuals overcome obstacles and turn their dreams into reality.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with extended and supported ideas. (7.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices. (8.0)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately. (8.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with generally accurate grammar. (7.5)
Band 9.0 Answer
The concept of success is often debated, with hard work and determination frequently cited as the primary drivers. However, others argue that luck and intelligence are more pivotal. I firmly believe that while all these factors contribute to success, hard work and determination are the most critical.
Proponents of hard work and determination argue that these qualities are essential for achieving long-term goals. For instance, scientists who dedicate years to research are more likely to make groundbreaking discoveries. Determination helps individuals persevere through challenges and maintain focus. Conversely, luck can play a significant role. People who are born into advantageous circumstances may have easier access to resources and opportunities. Intelligence, too, is a valuable asset, enabling individuals to learn quickly and adapt to new situations.
In my view, hard work and determination are the most important factors. While luck and intelligence can provide a head start, they are not sufficient on their own. People who work hard and remain determined are more likely to achieve their goals, regardless of their initial circumstances. Moreover, hard work and determination can help individuals overcome obstacles and turn their dreams into reality. For example, J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, faced numerous rejections before achieving success. Her determination and hard work ultimately led to her becoming one of the most successful authors in history.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with extended and supported ideas, using relevant examples. (9.0)
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices. (9.0)
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and precisely. (9.0)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with accurate grammar. (9.0)
Vocabulary Highlights
- Multifaceted (adj.): Having many different aspects or features. Example: The concept of success is multifaceted.
- Pivotal (adj.): Of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else. Example: Luck and intelligence are more pivotal.
- Indispensable (adj.): Absolutely necessary. Example: Hard work and determination are indispensable for achieving success.
- Adversity (n.): A difficult or unpleasant situation. Example: Determination helps individuals persevere through adversity.
- Affluent (adj.): Having a great deal of money; wealthy. Example: People who are born into affluent families may have access to better education.
- Informed (adj.): Based on sound knowledge and understanding. Example: Intelligence enables individuals to make informed decisions.
- Persevere (v.): To continue in a course of action or belief despite difficulties. Example: Determination helps individuals persevere through challenges.
- Groundbreaking (adj.): Introducing or involving new ideas or methods; innovative. Example: Scientists who dedicate years to research are more likely to make groundbreaking discoveries.
- Rejections (n.): The act of rejecting or the state of being rejected. Example: J.K. Rowling faced numerous rejections before achieving success.
- Ultimately (adv.): Finally; in the end. Example: Her determination and hard work ultimately led to her becoming one of the most successful authors.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position in their introduction, leading to a lower Task Response score.
- Inadequate Support: Students often present ideas without sufficient support or examples, resulting in a lower Lexical Resource score.
- Poor Cohesion: Some students struggle with organizing their ideas logically, leading to a lower Coherence and Cohesion score.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can impede communication and result in a lower Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
- Overuse of Simple Sentences: Students often rely too heavily on simple sentences, leading to a lower Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
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FAQs
- What is the difference between IELTS Writing Task 1 and Task 2?
- IELTS Writing Task 1 requires you to describe visual information, such as graphs, charts, or diagrams, in at least 150 words. Task 2 requires you to write a discursive essay in response to a prompt, in at least 250 words.
- How is IELTS Writing Task 2 scored?
- IELTS Writing Task 2 is scored based on four criteria: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
- What is the time limit for IELTS Writing Task 2?
- The time limit for IELTS Writing Task 2 is 40 minutes.
- Can I use personal examples in my IELTS Writing Task 2 essay?
- Yes, using personal examples can help support your ideas and improve your Lexical Resource score.
- How can I improve my IELTS Writing Task 2 score?
- To improve your IELTS Writing Task 2 score, practice writing essays regularly, use a wide range of vocabulary, and focus on organizing your ideas logically.
- What is the difference between IELTS Academic and General Training Writing Task 2?
- IELTS Academic Writing Task 2 requires you to write an essay on a topic related to academic or professional contexts. IELTS General Training Writing Task 2 requires you to write an essay on a topic related to social or personal contexts.
- How important is grammar in IELTS Writing Task 2?
- Grammar is crucial in IELTS Writing Task 2. Frequent grammatical errors can impede communication and result in a lower Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
- Can I use bullet points in my IELTS Writing Task 2 essay?
- No, bullet points are not acceptable in IELTS Writing Task 2. You must write in complete sentences and paragraphs.
Stats Callouts
- Label: Average IELTS Writing Task 2 Score
- Value: 5.5
- Source: IELTS.org
- Label: Percentage of Test-Takers Achieving Band 9.0
- Value: 5%
- Source: IELTS.org
- Label: Most Common Mistake in IELTS Writing Task 2
- Value: Lack of Clear Position
- Source: Cambridge Assessment English
Target Keywords
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