IELTS Writing Task 2: Success - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think that luck and opportunity play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
Success is often attributed to hard work and determination, but others argue that luck and opportunity are more significant factors. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my opinion.
On one hand, hard work and determination are crucial for success. Many successful people have achieved their goals through persistent effort. For example, J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, faced numerous rejections before her work was published. Her determination and hard work ultimately led to her success. Additionally, people who set clear goals and work diligently towards them are more likely to achieve their objectives. This is supported by research showing that individuals with strong work ethics tend to perform better in their careers and personal lives.
On the other hand, luck and opportunity also play a significant role in success. Some people may have the talent and drive but lack the opportunities to showcase their abilities. For instance, a person with exceptional artistic skills may never achieve recognition if they do not have access to the right platforms or networks. Moreover, unexpected events such as meeting the right person at the right time or being in the right place at the right time can significantly impact one's success. These factors are often beyond an individual's control, highlighting the importance of luck and opportunity.
In my opinion, while luck and opportunity can facilitate success, hard work and determination are the foundation upon which success is built. Without the effort and perseverance to seize opportunities and overcome challenges, luck alone is not sufficient. For example, a person may win the lottery (an instance of luck), but without the determination to manage their newfound wealth wisely, they may not achieve long-term success. Therefore, I believe that hard work and determination are more important factors in achieving success.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): Band 7.0
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be some irrelevant or less relevant ideas.
- Provides relevant, extended, and supported ideas, but these may be less fully extended or supported.
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with occasional errors.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 7.0
- Arranges information and ideas coherently and logically.
- Uses cohesive devices effectively, but there may be some under- or over-use.
- Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, but there may be some errors.
Lexical Resource (LR): Band 7.0
- Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
- May make occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and/or word formation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 7.0
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes occasional errors in grammar, punctuation, or spelling.
- May make some errors in or have inconsistent use of tenses, articles, and subject-verb agreement.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Attribute (v): to regard as resulting from a specified cause. Example: Success is often attributed to hard work and determination.
- Persistent (adj): continuing firmly or obstinately, especially in an unwelcome way. Example: Her determination and hard work ultimately led to her success.
- Diligently (adv): in a careful and persistent way. Example: People who set clear goals and work diligently towards them are more likely to achieve their objectives.
- Exceptional (adj): unusually great or remarkable. Example: A person with exceptional artistic skills may never achieve recognition.
- Facilitate (v): to make an action or process easy or easier. Example: Luck and opportunity can facilitate success.
- Seize (v): to take hold of suddenly and forcibly. Example: Without the effort and perseverance to seize opportunities.
- Found (v): to establish or provide a base for an institution or organization. Example: A person may win the lottery, but without the determination to manage their newfound wealth wisely.
- Long-term (adj): continuing or enduring for a long period of time. Example: They may not achieve long-term success.
- Foundation (n): the basis or groundwork of anything. Example: Hard work and determination are the foundation upon which success is built.
- Overcome (v): to succeed in dealing with a problem or difficulty. Example: The perseverance to overcome challenges.
- Sufficient (adj): enough to meet the needs of a situation or a proposed end. Example: Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision.
- Flexibility (n): the quality of bending easily without breaking. Example: Allows some flexibility and precision.
- Precision (n): the quality of being exact and accurate. Example: Allows some flexibility and precision.
- Collocation (n): the habitual juxtaposition of a particular word with another word or words with a frequency greater than chance. Example: Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
- Inconsistent (adj): not staying the same throughout; variable. Example: May make some errors in or have inconsistent use of tenses, articles, and subject-verb agreement.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position in their response, making it difficult for the examiner to understand their viewpoint.
- Insufficient Support: Students often provide ideas but fail to extend and support them with relevant examples or explanations.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using vague or repetitive vocabulary can lower the Lexical Resource score. Students should aim to use a range of vocabulary appropriate to the task.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can negatively impact the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score. Students should proofread their work to minimize errors.
- Inadequate Coherence and Cohesion: Poor organization and lack of cohesive devices can make the response difficult to follow. Students should ensure their ideas are logically connected and easy to follow.
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