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IELTS Writing Task 2:
Success — Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

See a Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample about success, with detailed scoring breakdown. Learn what examiners expect for a 6.0 response.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Success — Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown | English AIdol Blog

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See a Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 sample about success, with detailed scoring breakdown. Learn what examiners expect for a 6.0 response.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Success — Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Former IELTS Writing Task 2 prompt (paraphrased):

> Some people believe that success in life is measured by wealth and possessions. Others argue that true success comes from personal growth and relationships. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.0 Sample Response

Score: 6.0

Task Response: The response presents a relevant position but with some supporting ideas that are not fully developed. The main trends are identified but not fully extended and supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: The information is logically organized but there may be some unclear referencing. Some sequences of sentences are awkward and unclear.

Lexical Resource: The response uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, but there are frequent errors and some incorrect word choices.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The response uses some complex sentence forms, but these are often inaccurate. There are frequent grammatical errors that may sometimes impede understanding.

Sample Answer:

Success is often seen as having a lot of money and expensive things. However, others think success is about being happy and having good relationships. I agree with the second view.

Firstly, money can give comfort. People with wealth can buy nice houses and cars. They can travel and eat in good restaurants. But money does not buy happiness. Many rich people are not happy. They may feel lonely or stressed. A rich person might have a big house, but if they have no friends, they are not truly successful.

Secondly, personal growth and good relationships make people happy. A person who learns new things and improves themselves feels good. A person with good friends and family has support. When people care about each other, life is better. For example, a teacher may not be rich, but if they help students, they feel successful.

In conclusion, success is not about money. It is about being happy and having good relationships. People should focus on personal growth and caring for others.

Vocabulary Highlights

| Word/phrase | Definition | Example Collocation | |---------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------| | Possessions | Things that are owned | Material possessions | | Personal growth | The process of improving oneself | Focus on personal growth | | Relevant | Directly connected to the subject under discussion | Present a relevant position | | Fully developed | Thoroughly elaborated | Supporting ideas not fully developed | | Main trends | General patterns or movements | Identify main trends | | Logically organized | Arranged in a rational way | Information logically organized | | Unclear referencing | Ambiguous use of pronouns or references | Some unclear referencing | | Frequently | Often | Frequent errors | | Impede understanding | Hinder comprehension | Errors that impede understanding | | Complex sentence forms | Sentences with multiple clauses | Use complex sentence forms | | Grammatical errors | Mistakes in sentence structure | Frequent grammatical errors | | Suffice | Be enough | This suffices to meet the requirements | | Retain | Keep | Retain the reader's interest | | Inadequate | Not sufficient | Inadequate support | | Coherence | Logical connection between ideas | Maintain coherence | | Cohesion | Connection between sentences using linking words | Ensure cohesion | | Lexical range | Variety of vocabulary | Limited lexical range | | Word choice | Selection of vocabulary | Incorrect word choice | | Sentence variety | Use of different sentence structures | Lack of sentence variety | | Tense consistency | Correct use of verb tenses | Tense inconsistency |

Common Mistakes in Band 6.0 Responses

  1. Inadequate Support: Providing only one or two examples to support ideas without sufficient explanation.
  2. Weak Linking: Using basic linking words like 'and', 'but', and 'because' without varying the language used.
  3. Repetition: Repeating the same words or phrases instead of using synonyms.
  4. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that affect clarity.
  5. Lack of Complexity: Using simple sentence structures without attempting complex sentences.

Band 7.0 Sample Response

Score: 7.0

Task Response: The response presents a clear position throughout the response. The main trends are identified and supported, though some details may be less relevant or underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion: The information is logically organized and uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively, though some sequences of sentences may be awkward.

Lexical Resource: The response uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, with some less common vocabulary used appropriately. There are some errors but they do not impede understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in complex sentences.

Sample Answer:

The notion of success is often debated, with some arguing that it is measured by material wealth, while others believe it stems from personal fulfillment and relationships. I firmly believe that true success is found in personal growth and meaningful connections.

On one hand, wealth and possessions can provide comfort and security. Affluent individuals can enjoy luxuries such as luxurious homes, exotic vacations, and fine dining. However, the pursuit of material wealth often leads to stress and isolation. For instance, many celebrities, despite their fortune, struggle with mental health issues due to the pressures of fame and the lack of genuine relationships. Thus, while money can offer temporary comfort, it does not guarantee happiness or success.

On the other hand, personal growth and strong relationships contribute significantly to a fulfilling life. Engaging in lifelong learning and self-improvement can lead to a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Additionally, nurturing relationships with family and friends provides emotional support and a sense of belonging. For example, a person who dedicates their life to helping others, such as a dedicated teacher or a compassionate nurse, often feels a deep sense of success and fulfillment. These individuals may not be wealthy, but their impact on others' lives is immeasurable.

In conclusion, while material wealth can provide comfort, true success is achieved through personal growth and meaningful relationships. It is essential to focus on self-improvement and fostering connections with others to lead a truly successful life.

Band 8.0 Sample Response

Score: 8.0

Task Response: The response presents a clear position throughout the response. The main trends are identified, supported, and logically extended. The response effectively addresses all parts of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: The information is logically organized and uses a wide range of cohesive devices effectively. The response is easy to follow and retains the reader's interest.

Lexical Resource: The response uses a wide range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, with some sophisticated and less common vocabulary used appropriately. There are only occasional errors, and they do not impede understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The response uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences. Any errors present are minor and do not affect communication.

Sample Answer:

The concept of success is multifaceted and subject to diverse interpretations. While some equate success with the accumulation of wealth and material possessions, others contend that it is derived from personal development and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. I strongly advocate for the latter perspective.

Proponents of material success argue that financial prosperity and ownership of luxurious items are indicative of achievement. Undoubtedly, wealth can facilitate a comfortable lifestyle, enabling individuals to afford quality education, healthcare, and recreational activities. However, the pursuit of material success often comes at the expense of personal well-being. For example, the relentless pursuit of wealth can lead to burnout, strain relationships, and result in a diminished quality of life. Moreover, the transient nature of material possessions means that they rarely provide lasting fulfillment.

Conversely, success rooted in personal growth and relationships offers more enduring benefits. Engaging in continuous learning and self-improvement fosters a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Furthermore, nurturing strong relationships with family, friends, and community members provides emotional support and a sense of belonging. For instance, individuals who dedicate their lives to mentoring others or contributing to their communities often report a profound sense of satisfaction and success. These intangible rewards far outweigh the fleeting pleasures of material wealth.

In conclusion, while material success may offer temporary comforts, true success is found in personal growth and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. It is imperative that individuals prioritize their personal well-being and the quality of their relationships over the mere accumulation of wealth and possessions.

Band 9.0 Sample Response

Score: 9.0

Task Response: The response presents a clear, informed, and supported position. The main trends are identified, supported by fully extended and supported arguments, and logically extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: The information is logically organized and uses a wide range of cohesive devices effectively. The response is easy to follow and retains the reader's interest throughout.

Lexical Resource: The response uses a wide range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, with sophisticated and less common vocabulary used appropriately. There are only rare errors, and they do not impede understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The response uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences. Any errors present are minor and do not affect communication.

Sample Answer:

The notion of success is a complex and nuanced concept that has been the subject of extensive debate. While some individuals equate success with the acquisition of material wealth and possessions, others posit that it is derived from personal growth and the fostering of meaningful relationships. I firmly believe that the latter perspective more accurately captures the essence of true success.

Advocates of material success argue that financial prosperity and the ownership of luxurious items are indicative of achievement. It is undeniable that wealth can provide access to a higher standard of living, enabling individuals to afford superior education, healthcare, and leisure activities. However, the pursuit of material success often results in a myriad of negative consequences. For instance, the obsessive pursuit of wealth can lead to chronic stress, deteriorate personal relationships, and ultimately diminish the quality of life. Furthermore, the ephemeral nature of material possessions means that they rarely provide sustained happiness.

In contrast, success grounded in personal development and relationships offers more enduring benefits. Engaging in lifelong learning and self-improvement cultivates a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Additionally, the cultivation of strong relationships with family, friends, and community members provides emotional sustenance and a sense of belonging. For example, individuals who devote their lives to altruistic pursuits, such as education, healthcare, or community service, often report a deep sense of fulfillment and success. These intrinsic rewards far surpass the transient pleasures of material wealth.

In conclusion, while material success may offer temporary comforts, true success is found in personal growth and the cultivation of meaningful relationships. It is crucial that individuals prioritize their personal well-being and the quality of their relationships over the mere accumulation of wealth and possessions. By doing so, they can achieve a more holistic and fulfilling sense of success.

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