IELTS Writing Task 2: Student Loans - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that student loans should be forgiven after a certain number of years. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
The government should not forgive student loans because it is unfair to taxpayers who did not go to university. Students should pay back their loans because they received an education that will help them earn more money in the future.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 4.0 - Presents a position but does not extend or support it with reasons or examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 5.0 - Ideas are logically ordered but there is little use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but with frequent grammatical errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
While it may seem unfair to ask students to repay their loans, forgiving them would set a dangerous precedent. Students who take out loans do so with the understanding that they will eventually repay them. If the government forgives loans, it could encourage future students to take on excessive debt, knowing that they might not have to repay it. Additionally, forgiving loans would place an undue burden on taxpayers who did not benefit from higher education.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 6.0 - Presents a clear position with some extension and support.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically ordered with some use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent grammatical errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
The notion of forgiving student loans after a certain period has sparked considerable debate. Proponents argue that it alleviates financial burdens on graduates, particularly those in low-paying jobs. However, this perspective overlooks several critical issues. Firstly, loan forgiveness would disproportionately benefit higher earners, as they are more likely to repay their loans in full. Secondly, it would create a moral hazard, encouraging students to take on excessive debt with the expectation of eventual forgiveness. Lastly, the financial burden would shift to taxpayers, many of whom did not pursue higher education. Therefore, while loan forgiveness may seem compassionate, it is ultimately an unsustainable policy.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically ordered with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with frequent use of less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with only occasional errors.
Band 9.0 Answer
The contentious issue of student loan forgiveness has garnered significant attention in recent years. Advocates contend that loan forgiveness mitigates financial hardship for graduates, particularly those in financially precarious positions. Nevertheless, this argument is fraught with inconsistencies. Firstly, loan forgiveness disproportionately advantages higher earners, as they are more likely to repay their loans in full. Secondly, it engenders a moral hazard, incentivizing students to accumulate excessive debt with the expectation of eventual forgiveness. Lastly, the financial burden would be disproportionately borne by taxpayers, many of whom did not pursue higher education. Therefore, while loan forgiveness may appear altruistic, it is ultimately an unsustainable policy that exacerbates economic disparities.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, using and sustaining a discussion of the topic.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically ordered with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with frequent use of less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with only occasional errors.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.): Causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.
- Example: The contentious issue of student loan forgiveness has sparked considerable debate.
- Mitigates (v.): To make less severe, serious, or painful.
- Example: Loan forgiveness mitigates financial hardship for graduates.
- Fraught (adj.): Filled or affected by (something undesirable).
- Example: This argument is fraught with inconsistencies.
- Disproportionately (adv.): In a way that is not proportional or fair.
- Example: Loan forgiveness disproportionately advantages higher earners.
- Engenders (v.): To cause or give rise to (a feeling, situation, or condition).
- Example: It engenders a moral hazard, incentivizing students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Altruistic (adj.): Showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.
- Example: While loan forgiveness may appear altruistic, it is ultimately an unsustainable policy.
- Precarious (adj.): Not securely held or in position; dangerously likely to fall or collapse.
- Example: Particularly those in financially precarious positions.
- Incentivizing (v.): To encourage or stimulate someone to do something.
- Example: It incentivizes students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Exacerbates (v.): To make (a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling) worse.
- Example: It exacerbates economic disparities.
- Moral hazard (n.): A situation in which one party gets involved in a risky event knowing that it is protected against the risk and the other party will incur the cost.
- Example: It engenders a moral hazard, incentivizing students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Accumulate (v.): To gather together (a number of things, especially over time).
- Example: It incentivizes students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Altruistic (adj.): Showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.
- Example: While loan forgiveness may appear altruistic, it is ultimately an unsustainable policy.
- Precarious (adj.): Not securely held or in position; dangerously likely to fall or collapse.
- Example: Particularly those in financially precarious positions.
- Incentivizing (v.): To encourage or stimulate someone to do something.
- Example: It incentivizes students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Exacerbates (v.): To make (a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling) worse.
- Example: It exacerbates economic disparities.
- Moral hazard (n.): A situation in which one party gets involved in a risky event knowing that it is protected against the risk and the other party will incur the cost.
- Example: It engenders a moral hazard, incentivizing students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Accumulate (v.): To gather together (a number of things, especially over time).
- Example: It incentivizes students to accumulate excessive debt.
- Disparities (n.): A difference between things, especially as regarded by the observer.
- Example: It exacerbates economic disparities.
- Sustainable (adj.): Able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting natural resources.
- Example: It is ultimately an unsustainable policy.
- Burden (n.): A heavy load; something that is carried with difficulty.
- Example: The financial burden would be disproportionately borne by taxpayers.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their argument less convincing.
- Insufficient Support: Students often present ideas without sufficient support or examples, weakening their argument.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using vague or inappropriate vocabulary can detract from the overall quality of the response.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can make the response difficult to understand and lower the overall score.
- Lack of Cohesion: Without clear cohesive devices, the response can appear disjointed and confusing.
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