IELTS Writing Task 2: Social Inequality (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Paraphrased Prompt: Some people believe that social inequality is a natural part of life and should be accepted. Others argue that governments should take steps to reduce it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with some irrelevant points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some unclear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with frequent errors.

Answer:

Social inequality is a big problem in many countries. Some people think it is normal and should be accepted. They say that some people are born smarter or work harder, so they deserve more money and better lives. Others think governments should help reduce inequality. They believe that everyone should have the same chances.

I think both views have some truth. It is true that some people work harder and should be rewarded. However, I also think governments should help people who are poor or sick. For example, in Sweden, the government provides free education and healthcare. This helps reduce inequality. In contrast, in some countries, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. This is not fair.

In conclusion, social inequality is a complex issue. While some inequality is natural, governments should take steps to ensure everyone has a fair chance.

Band 7.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary with some less common words.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with some errors.

Answer:

Social inequality is a pervasive issue in contemporary societies. Proponents of the status quo argue that inequality is an inherent aspect of human nature, driven by differences in intelligence, ambition, and work ethic. They contend that rewarding merit and effort fosters innovation and economic growth. Conversely, advocates for government intervention posit that inequality stifles social mobility and perpetuates poverty. They advocate for policies such as progressive taxation and social welfare programs to mitigate disparities.

I am inclined to support the latter perspective. While it is undeniable that individual effort plays a role in success, systemic barriers often hinder the upward mobility of marginalized groups. For instance, in the United States, the wealth gap between African Americans and whites has widened despite civil rights advancements. This suggests that mere hard work is insufficient to overcome entrenched inequalities. Conversely, countries like Norway, with robust social safety nets, exhibit lower levels of income inequality and higher social mobility.

In conclusion, while some degree of inequality may be inevitable, governments have a responsibility to implement policies that promote equitable opportunities for all citizens.

Band 8.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise usage.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with few errors.

Answer:

The phenomenon of social inequality has been a contentious issue, with proponents of the status quo asserting its inevitability and necessity, while detractors advocate for governmental intervention to ameliorate disparities. Proponents of the former view argue that inequality is a natural consequence of varying abilities, efforts, and opportunities. They posit that rewarding merit and innovation drives economic progress and encourages individual responsibility. Conversely, critics contend that unchecked inequality engenders social unrest, hinders human capital development, and perpetuates intergenerational poverty.

I am firmly convinced that governments should take proactive measures to mitigate social inequality. While it is true that individual effort and talent contribute to success, structural barriers such as discriminatory practices, inadequate education, and lack of access to healthcare often impede upward mobility. For example, in Brazil, despite economic growth, income inequality remains high due to systemic issues like unequal access to quality education. In contrast, countries like Finland, with equitable education systems and comprehensive social welfare policies, have achieved lower levels of inequality and higher social mobility.

In conclusion, while some degree of inequality may be inevitable, governments have a moral and economic imperative to implement policies that foster equitable opportunities and reduce disparities.

Band 9.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments and examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated usage.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with rare errors.

Answer:

The contentious debate surrounding social inequality pits those who view it as an inevitable and even beneficial aspect of societal organization against those who advocate for governmental intervention to redress disparities. Proponents of the former perspective argue that inequality is a natural outcome of varying abilities, efforts, and opportunities. They contend that rewarding merit and innovation fosters economic dynamism, encourages individual responsibility, and drives societal progress. Conversely, critics posit that unchecked inequality engenders social stratification, hinders human capital development, and perpetuates cycles of poverty and marginalization.

I am unequivocally of the opinion that governments should implement policies to mitigate social inequality. While it is incontrovertible that individual effort and talent contribute to success, structural barriers such as systemic discrimination, inadequate education, and lack of access to healthcare often impede upward mobility. For instance, in South Africa, despite the end of apartheid, economic inequality persists due to entrenched systemic issues. In contrast, countries like Denmark, with comprehensive social welfare policies and equitable education systems, have achieved lower levels of inequality and higher social mobility.

Moreover, reducing inequality is not only a moral imperative but also an economic one. High levels of inequality can lead to social unrest, reduced economic growth, and increased crime rates. Therefore, governments should implement policies such as progressive taxation, social welfare programs, and equitable education systems to foster a more egalitarian society.

In conclusion, while some degree of inequality may be inevitable, governments have a moral and economic responsibility to implement policies that promote equitable opportunities and reduce disparities.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Pervasive (adj.): Widespread or prevalent. Example: Poverty is a pervasive issue in many developing countries.
2. Inherent (adj.): Inborn; natural. Example: The inherent differences in abilities among individuals contribute to social inequality.
3. Stifles (verb): Prevents or restricts. Example: Excessive regulation can stifle economic growth.
4. Merit (noun): The quality of being deserving. Example: The company rewards employees based on merit.
5. Systemic (adj.): Relating to a system or systems. Example: Systemic discrimination is a major barrier to social mobility.
6. Marginalized (adj.): Treated as insignificant or peripheral. Example: Marginalized groups often face significant barriers to upward mobility.
7. Robust (adj.): Strong and healthy; vigorous. Example: The country's robust economy is driven by innovation and entrepreneurship.
8. Imperative (noun): A necessary action or duty. Example: Reducing inequality is a moral and economic imperative.
9. Egalitarian (adj.): Believing in or supporting equality. Example: The country's egalitarian policies have reduced income inequality.
10. Disparities (noun): Differences or inequalities. Example: The government aims to reduce disparities in access to education.
11. Intergenerational (adj.): Occurring or existing between generations. Example: Intergenerational poverty is a major challenge in many societies.
12. Dynamic (adj.): Characterized by constant change, activity, or progress. Example: The city's dynamic economy is driven by innovation and entrepreneurship.
13. Stratification (noun): The division of society into distinct social classes. Example: Social stratification is a major barrier to upward mobility.
14. Equitable (adj.): Fair and just. Example: The country's equitable education system ensures that all students have access to quality education.
15. Comprehensive (adj.): Including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something. Example: The country's comprehensive social welfare policies have reduced poverty and inequality.
16. Proponents (noun): Supporters or advocates. Example: Proponents of the policy argue that it will reduce inequality.
17. Detractors (noun): Critics or opponents. Example: Detractors of the policy argue that it will stifle economic growth.
18. Redress (verb): To set right; remedy. Example: The government aims to redress the disparities in access to healthcare.
19. Incontrovertible (adj.): Impossible to deny or dispute. Example: The evidence is incontrovertible: inequality is a major barrier to social mobility.
20. Unequivocally (adv.): In a way that leaves no doubt; clearly. Example: I am unequivocally of the opinion that the government should take action to reduce inequality.

Common Mistakes

1. Vague Language: Using vague or imprecise language can make your argument less convincing. For example, saying "some people" instead of specifying who those people are.
2. Lack of Examples: Failing to provide specific examples to support your arguments can weaken your response. Always try to include real-world examples from different countries and time periods.
3. Poor Organization: Poorly organized essays can be difficult to follow and understand. Make sure your ideas are logically organized and that each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
4. Grammatical Errors: Grammatical errors can distract the reader and make your argument less convincing. Always proofread your work for grammatical errors.
5. Overgeneralizing: Overgeneralizing can make your argument seem weak or unfounded. Always try to provide specific evidence to support your claims.

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