IELTS Writing Task 2: Social Inequality Discussion Sample Band 9

Related guides:

• IELTS Writing Task 2 Renewable Energy Agree Disagree Sample…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Climate Change Discussion Sample Band…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Plastic Pollution (Advantages…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Deforestation Two Part Question Sample…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Renewable Energy Two Part Question…

Prompt

> Some people believe that the government should address social inequality through taxation and redistribution of wealth. Others argue that education and job creation are more effective solutions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Scorable Content: 100 words

The government should help poor people by giving them money. Rich people should pay more taxes. This is fair because they have more money. Some people say education is better. But if people are hungry, they cannot learn. Jobs are also important, but the government should give money first.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: 4.0 - Presents a position but does not extend or support it fully.
• Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0 - Ideas are arranged but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
• Lexical Resource: 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with frequent errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6.0 - Attempts complex sentences but with frequent errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scorable Content: 220 words

Social inequality is a pressing issue in many societies. Some advocate for government intervention through taxation and wealth redistribution. Proponents argue that this approach directly addresses immediate needs, such as poverty and lack of access to basic services. For instance, progressive taxation can fund social programs that support vulnerable populations. However, critics contend that this method may discourage economic growth and innovation.

Others believe that education and job creation are more sustainable solutions. By investing in education, individuals can acquire the skills needed to secure better-paying jobs, thereby reducing inequality over time. Job creation initiatives can stimulate economic growth and provide opportunities for upward mobility. Nevertheless, these solutions require long-term planning and significant investment.

In my opinion, a balanced approach is necessary. The government should implement progressive taxation to fund essential social programs while also investing in education and job creation. This dual strategy can address both immediate and long-term needs, ultimately reducing social inequality.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0 - Uses cohesion well but may occasionally lapse into less clear progression.
• Lexical Resource: 7.0 - Uses a mix of common and less common vocabulary appropriately.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scorable Content: 270 words

The persistent issue of social inequality has sparked debates on the most effective strategies for mitigation. Some argue that government intervention through taxation and wealth redistribution is the most equitable solution. This perspective posits that progressive taxation can redistribute wealth more evenly, ensuring that basic needs are met for all citizens. For example, countries with robust social safety nets, such as Sweden and Norway, have successfully reduced poverty through such measures. However, critics point out that high taxation may stifle economic growth and discourage investment.

Conversely, others contend that education and job creation are more sustainable solutions. By prioritizing education, individuals can acquire the skills necessary for higher-paying jobs, thereby reducing income disparities. Job creation initiatives can stimulate economic growth and provide opportunities for upward mobility. For instance, Germany's dual education system has been praised for its effectiveness in reducing youth unemployment and promoting social mobility. Nevertheless, these solutions require long-term planning and significant investment.

In my view, a multifaceted approach is essential. The government should implement progressive taxation to fund essential social programs while also investing in education and job creation. This dual strategy can address both immediate and long-term needs, ultimately reducing social inequality. Additionally, policies that promote gender equality and protect workers' rights can further enhance social equity.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: 8.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, with fully developed arguments.
• Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0 - Uses cohesion well, with clear progression and a logical organization of ideas.
• Lexical Resource: 8.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary with flexibility and precision, using less common vocabulary appropriately.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scorable Content: 300 words

The pervasive issue of social inequality has engendered a contentious debate regarding the most efficacious strategies for amelioration. Proponents of government intervention through taxation and wealth redistribution argue that this approach directly addresses immediate needs, such as poverty and lack of access to basic services. Progressive taxation can fund social programs that support vulnerable populations, thereby fostering a more equitable society. For instance, countries with robust social safety nets, such as the Nordic nations, have successfully reduced poverty through such measures. However, detractors contend that high taxation may stifle economic growth and discourage investment, potentially exacerbating inequality in the long run.

Conversely, advocates of education and job creation posit that these solutions are more sustainable. By investing in education, individuals can acquire the skills necessary for higher-paying jobs, thereby reducing income disparities. Job creation initiatives can stimulate economic growth and provide opportunities for upward mobility. For example, Singapore's emphasis on education and job training has been instrumental in its economic success and social cohesion. Nevertheless, these solutions require long-term planning and significant investment, which may not yield immediate results.

In my opinion, a holistic approach is essential. The government should implement progressive taxation to fund essential social programs while also investing in education and job creation. This dual strategy can address both immediate and long-term needs, ultimately reducing social inequality. Furthermore, policies that promote gender equality, protect workers' rights, and ensure fair wages can further enhance social equity. By adopting a multifaceted approach, societies can create a more just and equitable future for all.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response: 9.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas, with fully developed arguments and a clear conclusion.
• Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0 - Uses cohesion exceptionally well, with a clear progression and logical organization of ideas.
• Lexical Resource: 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with flexibility and precision, using less common vocabulary appropriately and naturally.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating a high degree of accuracy.

Key Vocabulary

1. Pervasive (adj.) - Widespread; prevalent. Example: The pervasive issue of social inequality affects all aspects of society.
2. Amelioration (n.) - The process of making something better. Example: Strategies for the amelioration of social inequality include education and job creation.
3. Equitable (adj.) - Fair and just. Example: Progressive taxation can foster a more equitable society.
4. Detractors (n.) - People who criticize or oppose something. Example: Detractors argue that high taxation may stifle economic growth.
5. Exacerbating (adj.) - Making something worse. Example: High taxation may exacerbate inequality in the long run.
6. Holistic (adj.) - Considering the whole of something rather than just individual parts. Example: A holistic approach is essential for addressing social inequality.
7. Instrumental (adj.) - Playing an important role in achieving something. Example: Education has been instrumental in Singapore's economic success.
8. Cohesion (n.) - The quality of being connected or related. Example: The essay demonstrates good cohesion with clear progression of ideas.
9. Precision (n.) - The quality of being exact and accurate. Example: The use of precise vocabulary enhances the clarity of the argument.
10. Flexibility (n.) - The ability to adapt or change. Example: The essay shows flexibility in the use of vocabulary and sentence structures.
11. Stifle (v.) - To prevent something from growing or developing. Example: High taxation may stifle economic growth.
12. Robust (adj.) - Strong and healthy; able to withstand difficulties. Example: Countries with robust social safety nets have successfully reduced poverty.
13. Sustainable (adj.) - Able to be maintained at a certain level without depleting resources. Example: Education and job creation are more sustainable solutions.
14. Multifaceted (adj.) - Having many different aspects or features. Example: A multifaceted approach is essential for addressing social inequality.
15. Equity (n.) - The quality of being fair and just. Example: Policies that promote equity can enhance social justice.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the issue, resulting in a lower score for Task Response.
2. Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Some students struggle with organizing their ideas logically, leading to a lower score for Coherence and Cohesion.
3. Limited Vocabulary: Students often use a limited range of vocabulary, which can result in a lower score for Lexical Resource.
4. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can detract from the overall quality of the essay, leading to a lower score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
5. Inadequate Support: Some students fail to provide sufficient support for their arguments, resulting in a lower score for Task Response.

Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol

Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to improve your score.