IELTS Writing Task 2: Smoking In Public (Discussion) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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Alfie Lim, TESOL-certified educator

The Prompt

Some people argue that smoking in public places should be banned completely. Others say that this would be an unfair restriction on individual freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• TR (Task Response): Presents a relevant position but with limited development. (Band 5)
• CC (Coherence and Cohesion): Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and awkward transitions. (Band 6)
• LR (Lexical Resource): Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with noticeable errors and limited range. (Band 5)
• GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy): Attempts complex sentences but with frequent errors. (Band 5)

Answer

Smoking in public places is a big problem. Some people think it should be banned. Others think this is not fair. I think both sides have good points.

First, smoking in public is bad for health. Smoke can make people sick. Children and old people are very affected. Also, smoking smells bad. This is not good for restaurants and parks. So, banning smoking is good.

But, some people say banning smoking is not fair. They say adults should choose. If they want to smoke, they should be allowed. Also, banning smoking might not work. People will still smoke secretly. This is worse.

In my opinion, smoking should be banned in some places. Like hospitals and schools. But in other places, like parks, people should be allowed to smoke. But they should be far from others. This is a good balance.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• TR (Task Response): Presents a clear position with some development and relevant examples. (Band 7)
• CC (Coherence and Cohesion): Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions. (Band 7)
• LR (Lexical Resource): Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexis. (Band 7)
• GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors. (Band 7)

Answer

The issue of smoking in public places has sparked considerable debate. While some advocate for a complete ban, others argue that this would infringe upon personal freedoms. Both perspectives warrant examination.

Proponents of a ban contend that smoking in public poses significant health risks. Secondhand smoke is linked to various ailments, particularly affecting vulnerable groups such as children and the elderly. Furthermore, the unpleasant odor of smoke can detract from the enjoyment of public spaces, making it difficult for non-smokers to relax. For instance, many cities have implemented smoking bans in restaurants and parks, leading to cleaner and healthier environments.

Conversely, opponents of a ban argue that it is an unnecessary restriction on individual liberties. Adults should have the right to make their own choices, including whether or not to smoke. Additionally, some believe that bans are ineffective, as people will find ways to smoke regardless of the rules. For example, in some countries, smoking bans have led to an increase in illegal smoking activities.

In my view, a balanced approach is necessary. Smoking should be banned in enclosed public spaces where the health risks are highest, such as hospitals and schools. However, in open areas like parks, designated smoking zones could be established to accommodate smokers while minimizing the impact on non-smokers.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• TR (Task Response): Presents a clear position with thorough development and relevant, extended examples. (Band 8)
• CC (Coherence and Cohesion): Ideas are logically organized with clear, sophisticated transitions. (Band 8)
• LR (Lexical Resource): Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with some less common lexis. (Band 8)
• GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors. (Band 8)

Answer

The contentious issue of smoking in public places has garnered significant attention, with proponents of bans emphasizing health concerns and advocates of personal freedom arguing against restrictions. Both viewpoints merit careful consideration.

Those in favor of bans highlight the well-documented health hazards associated with secondhand smoke. Exposure to tobacco smoke has been linked to a myriad of health issues, including respiratory diseases and cardiovascular problems. Vulnerable populations, such as children and individuals with pre-existing health conditions, are particularly at risk. For example, studies have shown that children exposed to secondhand smoke are more likely to develop asthma and other respiratory ailments. Additionally, the pervasive odor of smoke can diminish the enjoyment of public spaces, making it difficult for non-smokers to partake in outdoor activities.

On the other hand, opponents of bans argue that such measures infringe upon individual liberties. Adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices, including whether or not to engage in smoking. Furthermore, some contend that bans are ineffective, as they often lead to increased clandestine smoking activities. For instance, in some jurisdictions, the implementation of smoking bans has resulted in a surge in illegal smoking in private residences and other unregulated areas.

In my opinion, a nuanced approach is required. Smoking should be prohibited in enclosed public spaces where the concentration of smoke is highest, such as hospitals, schools, and public transportation. However, in open areas like parks and beaches, designated smoking zones could be established to accommodate smokers while minimizing the impact on non-smokers. This balanced approach would address the health concerns of non-smokers while respecting the personal freedoms of smokers.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• TR (Task Response): Presents a clear, insightful position with thorough development and relevant, extended examples. (Band 9)
• CC (Coherence and Cohesion): Ideas are logically organized with clear, sophisticated transitions and paragraphing. (Band 9)
• LR (Lexical Resource): Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with sophisticated and less common lexis. (Band 9)
• GRA (Grammatical Range and Accuracy): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors. (Band 9)

Answer

The debate surrounding the prohibition of smoking in public places is multifaceted, encompassing both health imperatives and personal liberties. A comprehensive analysis of both perspectives is essential to formulate an informed stance.

Advocates for a comprehensive ban on smoking in public spaces underscore the undeniable health risks posed by secondhand smoke. Extensive research has established a correlation between exposure to tobacco smoke and a plethora of health issues, including chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), lung cancer, and coronary heart disease. Particularly vulnerable are individuals with pre-existing respiratory conditions, children, and the elderly. For instance, a study conducted by the World Health Organization (WHO) revealed that secondhand smoke exposure accounts for approximately 1.2 million premature deaths annually. Moreover, the pervasive odor of smoke can significantly detract from the enjoyment of public spaces, rendering them inhospitable for non-smokers.

Conversely, those who oppose a blanket ban argue that such measures constitute an unwarranted infringement on individual autonomy. Adults, as rational beings, should retain the right to make informed choices regarding their own health and well-being. Furthermore, the efficacy of smoking bans has been called into question, with some studies suggesting that they may lead to an increase in clandestine smoking activities. For example, in certain urban centers, the implementation of smoking bans has been accompanied by a rise in illegal smoking in private residences and other unregulated areas.

In my view, a balanced and pragmatic approach is warranted. Smoking should be unequivocally prohibited in enclosed public spaces where the concentration of smoke is highest, such as hospitals, schools, and public transportation. However, in open areas like parks, beaches, and outdoor dining areas, designated smoking zones could be established to accommodate smokers while minimizing the impact on non-smokers. This approach would not only address the health concerns of non-smokers but also respect the personal freedoms of smokers, striking a harmonious balance between public health and individual liberties.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adj.) - causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.

• Example: The contentious issue of smoking in public places has sparked considerable debate.

1. Proponent (n.) - a person who advocates for a particular cause or proposal.

• Example: Proponents of bans emphasize health concerns.

1. Infringe (v.) - to act in a way that deliberately annoys someone, especially by invading their privacy or breaking a rule.

• Example: Opponents of bans argue that such measures infringe upon individual liberties.

1. Clandestine (adj.) - done secretly or dishonestly.

• Example: Bans often lead to increased clandestine smoking activities.

1. Autonomy (n.) - the right or condition of self-government.

• Example: Adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices.

1. Pervasive (adj.) - spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.

• Example: The pervasive odor of smoke can diminish the enjoyment of public spaces.

1. Myriad (adj.) - a very large number of something.

• Example: Exposure to tobacco smoke has been linked to a myriad of health issues.

1. Enclosed (adj.) - surrounded by walls or boundaries; not open to the air.

• Example: Smoking should be prohibited in enclosed public spaces.

1. Hospitable (adj.) - giving a warm and friendly welcome to guests or strangers.

• Example: The pervasive odor of smoke can significantly detract from the enjoyment of public spaces, rendering them inhospitable for non-smokers.

1. Unequivocally (adv.) - in a way that leaves no doubt; clearly and unambiguously.

• Example: Smoking should be unequivocally prohibited in enclosed public spaces.

1. Harmonious (adj.) - having a pleasing and consistent sound; free from disagreement or conflict.

• Example: This approach would strike a harmonious balance between public health and individual liberties.

1. Rational (adj.) - based on clear thinking and sound judgment.

• Example: Adults, as rational beings, should retain the right to make informed choices.

1. Efficacy (n.) - the ability to produce a desired or intended result.

• Example: The efficacy of smoking bans has been called into question.

1. Comprehensive (adj.) - including or dealing with all or nearly all elements or aspects of something.

• Example: A comprehensive analysis of both perspectives is essential.

1. Formulate (v.) - to create or develop something, such as a plan or strategy.

• Example: A comprehensive analysis is essential to formulate an informed stance.

1. Multifaceted (adj.) - having many different aspects or features.

• Example: The debate surrounding the prohibition of smoking in public places is multifaceted.

1. Undeniable (adj.) - impossible to deny or dispute.

• Example: Advocates for a comprehensive ban underscore the undeniable health risks.

1. Correlation (n.) - a mutual relationship or connection between two or more things.

• Example: Extensive research has established a correlation between exposure to tobacco smoke and health issues.

1. Chronic (adj.) - persisting for a long time or constantly recurring.

• Example: Exposure to tobacco smoke has been linked to chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).

1. Strike a balance (idiom) - to find a compromise or middle ground between two opposing views or situations.

• Example: This approach would strike a harmonious balance between public health and individual liberties.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position in their introduction, leading to a lower score in the Task Response criterion.
2. Inadequate Development of Ideas: Some students present relevant ideas but do not develop them sufficiently, resulting in a lower score in the Task Response criterion.
3. Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Students often struggle with organizing their ideas logically and using appropriate transitions, which can lower their score in the Coherence and Cohesion criterion.
4. Limited Vocabulary: Many students use basic vocabulary and repeat words, which can limit their score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
5. Grammatical Errors: Students often make frequent grammatical errors, which can lower their score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criterion.

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