IELTS Writing Task 2: Smoking In Public — Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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Prompt

Some people argue that smoking in public places should be banned, while others believe that individuals should have the freedom to smoke wherever they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with some irrelevant points and limited development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 5.5 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and awkward transitions.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range.
• Grammar (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors that sometimes hinder understanding.

Answer

Smoking in public places is a big problem. Some people say it should be banned, but others think people should have freedom. I think smoking should be banned because it is bad for health.

Firstly, smoking is bad for health. It causes cancer and other diseases. If people smoke in public, others can breathe the smoke. This is bad for children and old people. So, smoking should be banned in public places.

But some people say freedom is important. They think adults should decide for themselves. However, freedom should not hurt others. Smoking in public hurts other people. So, it should be banned.

In conclusion, smoking in public is bad. It should be banned to protect people's health.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development and relevant supporting ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions and some cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some errors and limited range.
• Grammar (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but generally communicates clearly.

Answer

The issue of smoking in public places has been a contentious one, with advocates on both sides presenting compelling arguments. While some people believe that smoking should be banned in public areas, others argue that individuals should have the freedom to smoke wherever they wish. I firmly believe that smoking should be prohibited in public places due to the health risks it poses.

On one hand, those who support the freedom to smoke argue that adults should have the right to make their own choices. They contend that as long as they are not harming anyone else, they should be allowed to smoke in public. However, this perspective overlooks the fact that secondhand smoke can be just as harmful as smoking itself. Children, the elderly, and those with respiratory conditions are particularly vulnerable to the effects of secondhand smoke.

On the other hand, those who advocate for a ban on smoking in public places argue that it is necessary to protect the health of the general public. Smoking in public areas not only affects the health of non-smokers but also sets a bad example for young people. By banning smoking in public places, we can create a healthier environment for everyone.

In conclusion, while the argument for freedom is compelling, the health risks associated with smoking in public places outweigh the benefits. Therefore, I believe that smoking should be banned in public areas to protect the health and well-being of all individuals.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant supporting ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions and a variety of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with some sophisticated words and phrases.
• Grammar (GRA): 8.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but generally communicates clearly and accurately.

Answer

The debate surrounding the prohibition of smoking in public places has garnered significant attention in recent years. While some individuals advocate for the freedom to smoke in public, others contend that such behavior should be regulated to protect the health of the general public. I am firmly of the opinion that smoking should be banned in public places due to the myriad health risks it poses.

Proponents of the freedom to smoke argue that adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices. They posit that as long as they are not directly harming anyone else, they should be allowed to smoke in public. However, this perspective is flawed as it fails to consider the detrimental effects of secondhand smoke. Children, the elderly, and individuals with respiratory conditions are particularly susceptible to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke, which can exacerbate existing health issues and lead to the development of new ones.

Conversely, those who advocate for a ban on smoking in public places argue that such a measure is necessary to safeguard the health of the general public. Smoking in public areas not only affects the health of non-smokers but also sets a negative example for young people. By banning smoking in public places, we can create a healthier environment for everyone and promote a culture of health and well-being.

In conclusion, while the argument for freedom is compelling, the health risks associated with smoking in public places are too significant to ignore. Therefore, I believe that smoking should be banned in public areas to protect the health and well-being of all individuals.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments and relevant, extended supporting ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear transitions and a wide range of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with sophisticated words and phrases, and rare errors.
• Grammar (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence structures with rare errors.

Answer

The contentious issue of whether smoking should be permitted in public places has sparked heated debate among policymakers, health professionals, and the general public. While some individuals advocate for the freedom to smoke in public, others contend that such behavior should be regulated to protect the health of the general public. I am unequivocally of the opinion that smoking should be banned in public places due to the myriad health risks it poses and the detrimental impact it has on society as a whole.

Proponents of the freedom to smoke argue that adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices. They posit that as long as they are not directly harming anyone else, they should be allowed to smoke in public. However, this perspective is not only flawed but also dangerously misguided. Secondhand smoke contains over 7,000 chemicals, including at least 70 known carcinogens, which can cause cancer, respiratory diseases, and cardiovascular problems. Children, the elderly, and individuals with pre-existing health conditions are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke, which can exacerbate existing health issues and lead to the development of new ones.

Moreover, smoking in public places sets a negative example for young people, who are more likely to take up the habit if they see adults smoking. By banning smoking in public places, we can create a healthier environment for everyone and promote a culture of health and well-being. Furthermore, a ban on smoking in public places can encourage smokers to quit or seek help to quit, thereby improving their own health and reducing the burden on the healthcare system.

In conclusion, the argument for freedom is not only compelling but also fundamentally flawed. The health risks associated with smoking in public places are too significant to ignore, and the detrimental impact on society as a whole is too great to overlook. Therefore, I believe that smoking should be banned in public areas to protect the health and well-being of all individuals and to promote a culture of health and well-being.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adjective): causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.

• Example: The issue of smoking in public places is highly contentious.

1. Proponents (noun): a person who advocates for a particular cause or belief.

• Example: Proponents of the freedom to smoke argue that adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices.

1. Autonomy (noun): the right or condition of self-government.

• Example: Adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices.

1. Exacerbate (verb): to make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse.

• Example: Secondhand smoke can exacerbate existing health issues.

1. Carcinogens (noun): a substance capable of causing cancer in living tissue.

• Example: Secondhand smoke contains over 7,000 chemicals, including at least 70 known carcinogens.

1. Respiratory (adjective): relating to the lungs and breathing.

• Example: Children, the elderly, and individuals with respiratory conditions are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.

1. Vulnerable (adjective): susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

• Example: Children, the elderly, and individuals with pre-existing health conditions are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.

1. Detrimental (adjective): tending to cause harm.

• Example: The detrimental impact of smoking in public places on society as a whole is too great to overlook.

1. Unequivocally (adverb): in a way that leaves no doubt; unambiguously.

• Example: I am unequivocally of the opinion that smoking should be banned in public places.

1. Misguided (adjective): having or showing incorrect or mistaken views or opinions.

• Example: This perspective is not only flawed but also dangerously misguided.

1. Encourage (verb): give support, confidence, or hope to someone.

• Example: A ban on smoking in public places can encourage smokers to quit or seek help to quit.

1. Burden (noun): a heavy load; something that is carried with difficulty.

• Example: A ban on smoking in public places can reduce the burden on the healthcare system.

1. Promote (verb): support or actively encourage (a cause, venture, etc.); actively encourage (behavior).

• Example: By banning smoking in public places, we can promote a culture of health and well-being.

1. Heated (adjective): showing strong emotion, especially anger or excitement.

• Example: The debate surrounding the prohibition of smoking in public places has sparked heated debate.

1. Safeguard (verb): protect from harm or damage with an appropriate measure.

• Example: A ban on smoking in public places is necessary to safeguard the health of the general public.

1. Myriad (adjective): countless or extremely numerous.

• Example: The myriad health risks associated with smoking in public places are too significant to ignore.

1. Posit (verb): put forward as a basis for further argument or reasoning.

• Example: Proponents of the freedom to smoke posit that adults should have the autonomy to make their own choices.

1. Exacerbate (verb): make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse.

• Example: Secondhand smoke can exacerbate existing health issues.

1. Pre-existing (adjective): existing before or prior to something else, especially an existing condition before a specified event or treatment.

• Example: Individuals with pre-existing health conditions are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke.

1. Overlook (verb): fail to notice or consider.

• Example: The detrimental impact on society as a whole is too great to overlook.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Clear Position: Some students fail to present a clear position on the issue, making their argument weak and unfocused.
2. Inadequate Development of Ideas: Students often present ideas without sufficient development, leading to a shallow argument.
3. Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using inappropriate or incorrect vocabulary can detract from the overall quality of the response.
4. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can make the response difficult to understand and lower the overall score.
5. Lack of Cohesion: Poor transitions and a lack of cohesive devices can make the response disjointed and difficult to follow.

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