IELTS Writing Task 2: Renewable Technology Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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Full Prompt

Topic: Some people believe that governments should invest more in developing renewable energy, while others argue for investment in traditional energy sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers with Scoring Breakdowns

Band 6.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant details.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some unclear referencing.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and basic vocabulary with some errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Attempts complex structures but with frequent errors.

Answer:

Renewable energy is very important today. Some people think governments should invest more in it, while others believe traditional energy is better. I agree with the first view.

Firstly, renewable energy is clean and does not pollute. Solar and wind power do not create carbon dioxide like coal and oil. This is good for the environment and health. Also, these resources will never finish. The sun and wind are always there, unlike oil, which will run out.

However, some argue that traditional energy is cheaper and more reliable. They say that renewable energy is expensive to develop and cannot provide enough power for big countries. But I think the long-term benefits are worth the cost.

In conclusion, I believe governments should invest more in renewable energy because it is better for the planet and sustainable.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some extended arguments and supporting ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and some cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but occasional errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.

Answer:

The debate over whether governments should prioritize investment in renewable energy or traditional energy sources is contentious. I firmly believe that renewable energy should be the focus.

Proponents of renewable energy argue that it is environmentally friendly and sustainable. Fossil fuels contribute significantly to greenhouse gas emissions, which exacerbate climate change. In contrast, renewable sources like solar, wind, and hydroelectric power generate electricity with minimal environmental impact. Additionally, renewable energy sources are inexhaustible, unlike finite fossil fuels. For instance, solar energy harnesses the power of the sun, which will continue to shine for billions of years.

On the other hand, some advocate for continued investment in traditional energy sources due to their reliability and lower initial costs. They point out that the infrastructure for fossil fuels is already well-established, making it a more economical choice in the short term. Moreover, traditional energy sources can provide a steady supply of electricity, which is crucial for industrial activities and economic stability.

In my opinion, the long-term benefits of renewable energy outweigh the immediate advantages of traditional energy. Governments should allocate more funds to research and development in renewable technologies to ensure a sustainable future.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with extended arguments and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some sophisticated lexical items and occasional errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a variety of complex sentence structures with some errors but generally accurate.

Answer:

The discourse surrounding government investment in renewable versus traditional energy sources has gained significant traction in recent years. I am inclined to support the former due to its long-term benefits.

Advocates for renewable energy argue that it offers a sustainable solution to the world's energy needs. Unlike fossil fuels, renewable sources such as solar, wind, and geothermal energy are inexhaustible and have a lower environmental footprint. For example, wind turbines generate electricity without emitting greenhouse gases, thereby mitigating the adverse effects of climate change. Furthermore, the development of renewable energy technologies can create new job opportunities and stimulate economic growth. A case in point is Germany, which has successfully transitioned to renewable energy, creating thousands of jobs in the process.

Conversely, proponents of traditional energy sources contend that they are more reliable and cost-effective. They argue that the infrastructure for fossil fuels is already in place, making it a more practical choice for meeting current energy demands. Additionally, traditional energy sources can provide a consistent supply of electricity, which is essential for industrial activities and economic stability.

However, I believe that the long-term benefits of renewable energy far outweigh the immediate advantages of traditional energy. Governments should prioritize investment in renewable technologies to ensure a sustainable and environmentally friendly future.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with extended and supported arguments, demonstrating a thorough treatment of the task.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices, creating a cohesive and fluent response.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated lexical items, demonstrating flexibility and precision.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a variety of complex sentence structures with frequent error-free sentences, demonstrating a high degree of grammatical accuracy.

Answer:

The global shift towards renewable energy has sparked a fierce debate regarding the optimal allocation of government funds. I contend that prioritizing investment in renewable energy is not only prudent but also imperative for the long-term sustainability of our planet.

Proponents of renewable energy assert that it offers a viable solution to the pressing issue of climate change. The combustion of fossil fuels releases vast amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, contributing significantly to global warming. In contrast, renewable sources such as solar, wind, and hydroelectric power generate electricity with minimal environmental impact. For instance, solar panels convert sunlight into electricity without emitting any greenhouse gases, making them an environmentally friendly alternative. Furthermore, renewable energy sources are inexhaustible, unlike finite fossil fuels, which are depleting at an alarming rate. The sun, wind, and water will continue to provide energy for billions of years, ensuring a sustainable future.

On the other hand, some argue that traditional energy sources are more reliable and cost-effective. They point out that the infrastructure for fossil fuels is already well-established, making it a more economical choice in the short term. Additionally, traditional energy sources can provide a steady supply of electricity, which is crucial for industrial activities and economic stability. However, these arguments overlook the long-term environmental and economic costs associated with fossil fuels.

In my view, the benefits of renewable energy far outweigh the advantages of traditional energy sources. Governments should allocate more funds to research and development in renewable technologies to mitigate the adverse effects of climate change and ensure a sustainable future. By doing so, they can create new job opportunities, stimulate economic growth, and protect the environment for future generations.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adjective) - causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.

• Example: The debate over renewable energy is highly contentious.

1. Exacerbate (verb) - to make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse.

• Example: Fossil fuels exacerbate climate change.

1. Inexhaustible (adjective) - not able to be used up or exhausted.

• Example: Renewable energy sources are inexhaustible.

1. Stimulate (verb) - to encourage something to develop or happen more quickly.

• Example: Investing in renewable energy can stimulate economic growth.

1. Prudent (adjective) - acting with or showing care and thought for the future.

• Example: It is prudent to invest in renewable energy.

1. Imperative (adjective) - of vital importance.

• Example: Addressing climate change is imperative.

1. Combustion (noun) - the process of burning something.

• Example: The combustion of fossil fuels releases carbon dioxide.

1. Depleting (verb) - to use up something, especially a natural resource.

• Example: Fossil fuels are depleting at an alarming rate.

1. Mitigate (verb) - to make something less severe, serious, or painful.

• Example: Renewable energy can mitigate climate change.

1. Stimulate (verb) - to encourage something to develop or happen more quickly.

• Example: Investing in renewable energy can stimulate economic growth.

1. Allocate (verb) - to give or assign something officially.

• Example: Governments should allocate more funds to renewable energy.

1. Flexibility (noun) - the quality of bending easily without breaking.

• Example: The use of renewable energy requires flexibility in infrastructure.

1. Precision (noun) - the quality of being exact and accurate.

• Example: The arguments for renewable energy are made with precision.

1. Sustainable (adjective) - able to be maintained at a certain rate or level without depleting natural resources.

• Example: Renewable energy is a sustainable solution.

1. Alarming (adjective) - causing worry or fear.

• Example: The rate of fossil fuel depletion is alarming.

1. Environmental footprint (noun) - the impact of a person or organization on the environment.

• Example: Renewable energy has a lower environmental footprint.

1. Economical (adjective) - giving good value or service in relation to the amount of money, time, or effort spent.

• Example: Traditional energy sources are more economical in the short term.

1. Infraestructura (noun) - the basic physical and organizational structures and facilities needed for the operation of a society or enterprise.

• Example: The infrastructure for fossil fuels is already well-established.

1. Consistent (adjective) - always behaving or happening in the same way.

• Example: Traditional energy sources provide a consistent supply of electricity.

1. Critical (adjective) - expressing adverse or disapproving comments or judgments.

• Example: The debate over renewable energy is critical for the future.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the topic, which is essential for achieving a high score in Task Response.

1. Inadequate Supporting Ideas: Students often present arguments without sufficient supporting ideas or examples, which weakens their response.

1. Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Some students struggle with organizing their ideas logically and using cohesive devices effectively, leading to a lower score in CC.

1. Limited Vocabulary: Using basic vocabulary and repeating words can limit the lexical resource score. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary with precision.

1. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can significantly impact the GRA score. Students should focus on using a variety of complex sentence structures with accuracy.

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