IELTS Writing Task 2: Renewable Energy - Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Many countries are investing heavily in renewable energy sources. However, some people argue that this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.0 Sample Answer
Band 7.0 Sample
In recent years, numerous countries have committed significant resources to developing renewable energy sources. While I believe this investment is crucial for our future, I understand why some people oppose it.
On one hand, those who argue against investing in renewable energy claim that it is a waste of money. They point out that traditional energy sources like coal and oil are cheaper and more reliable. Additionally, they argue that the technology for renewable energy is not yet advanced enough to replace traditional sources completely. These people believe that the money could be better spent on other pressing issues such as education or healthcare.
However, I firmly believe that investing in renewable energy is essential for several reasons. Firstly, renewable energy sources are much cleaner than traditional ones. By investing in renewables, we can significantly reduce our carbon footprint and mitigate the effects of climate change. Secondly, as technology advances, renewable energy will become more efficient and cost-effective. Countries that invest now will be at the forefront of this transition and can potentially export their technology to other nations. Lastly, renewable energy can create new jobs and stimulate economic growth in sectors such as manufacturing, installation, and maintenance.
In conclusion, while I acknowledge the arguments against investing in renewable energy, I strongly believe that the long-term benefits outweigh the short-term costs. We must prioritize our planet's health and invest in a sustainable future.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents, extends, and supports main trends, arguments, or points but may not always sustain a consistent focus.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses a mix of cohesive devices but may occasionally use them inappropriately or overuse certain devices. The presentation of information is logically organized but may not always use the most effective structure.
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey ideas but may lack precision or occasionally use less common or awkward expressions.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but may make some grammatical errors that may occasionally hinder understanding.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Commit (v.) - To pledge or dedicate. Example: Many countries have committed to reducing their carbon emissions.
- Significant (adj.) - Important or notable. Example: The study found significant differences between the two groups.
- Mitigate (v.) - To make less severe. Example: We need to take action to mitigate the effects of climate change.
- Forefront (n.) - The leading or most advanced position. Example: Our company is at the forefront of renewable energy technology.
- Stimulate (v.) - To encourage development or growth. Example: The government's policies aim to stimulate economic growth.
- Sustainable (adj.) - Able to be maintained at a certain level without depleting resources. Example: We need to find sustainable solutions to our energy needs.
- Transition (n.) - A change or passage from one state to another. Example: The transition to renewable energy will take time.
- Investment (n.) - The act of putting money or resources into something to gain a future benefit. Example: The government's investment in infrastructure has boosted the economy.
- Efficient (adj.) - Achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort or expense. Example: The new machine is more efficient than the old one.
- Footprint (n.) - The impact of a person or organization on the environment. Example: We need to reduce our carbon footprint.
- Pressing (adj.) - Requiring immediate attention. Example: There are many pressing issues that need to be addressed.
- Export (v.) - To send goods or services to another country for sale. Example: Japan exports a lot of technology.
- Renewable (adj.) - Able to be replaced or replenished. Example: Solar energy is a renewable resource.
- Traditional (adj.) - Existing in or as part of a tradition. Example: Many people still use traditional methods of farming.
- Advance (v.) - To move forward in a purposeful way. Example: Technology is advancing rapidly.
- Resource (n.) - A stock or supply of money, materials, staff, and other assets that can be drawn on by a person or organization in order to function effectively. Example: We need to manage our resources carefully.
- Economic (adj.) - Relating to the economy or economies. Example: The economic situation is improving.
- Manufacturing (n.) - The process of making goods in large quantities using machines. Example: The manufacturing sector is a major part of our economy.
- Maintenance (n.) - The process of keeping something in an effective and efficient state. Example: Regular maintenance is essential for the smooth running of the machine.
- Health (n.) - The state of being free from illness or injury. *Example: The government is responsible for the health of its citizens.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Task Response: Some students may not fully address the task, either by not discussing both views or not giving their opinion.
- Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Students may struggle to organize their ideas logically or use cohesive devices effectively.
- Limited Lexical Resource: Some students may use a limited range of vocabulary, repeating the same words and phrases.
- Grammatical Errors: Students may make grammatical errors that hinder understanding, such as subject-verb agreement errors or incorrect tense usage.
- Lack of Specific Examples: Students may not provide specific examples to support their arguments, making their points less convincing.
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