IELTS Writing Task 2: Religion In Society — Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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Prompt

Some people believe that religion plays an important role in society, while others argue that it is not relevant in today's modern world. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding.

Answer:

Religion is very important in society. It helps people to be good and follow moral values. Many people go to church or mosque every week. This makes them feel happy and connected to others. Also, religion gives people hope and comfort when they are sad. For example, when someone dies, their family can find comfort in their faith.

However, some people think religion is not important anymore. They say that science and technology have made religion less relevant. Also, some people think that religion causes problems like wars and conflicts. For example, there have been many wars fought over religion.

In my opinion, religion is still important. It helps people to live a good life and be kind to others. Even though there are some problems, the benefits of religion are greater. Therefore, religion should still be important in society.

Band 7.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a mix of common and less common vocabulary appropriately.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some grammatical errors but generally accurate.

Answer:

Religion has been a significant part of human society for centuries, and its role continues to be debated. On one hand, religion provides a moral framework that guides people's behavior. It encourages values such as honesty, compassion, and charity. For instance, many charitable organizations are founded on religious principles and provide essential services to those in need. Additionally, religion offers a sense of community and belonging, which can be particularly important in times of crisis.

On the other hand, some argue that religion is no longer relevant in the modern world. Advances in science and technology have provided alternative explanations for the mysteries of life, reducing the need for religious beliefs. Furthermore, religious conflicts have led to violence and division, raising questions about the positive impact of religion. For example, historical and contemporary conflicts often have religious dimensions, highlighting the potential for religion to be a source of tension.

In my view, while religion may not be as central as it once was, it still plays a crucial role in many people's lives. It provides moral guidance, a sense of community, and comfort in difficult times. Therefore, it should continue to be valued and respected in society.

Band 8.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and precisely.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally accurate grammar.

Answer:

The role of religion in contemporary society is a contentious issue, with proponents and detractors offering compelling arguments. Those who advocate for the importance of religion often cite its ability to foster moral values and ethical behavior. Religious teachings frequently emphasize virtues such as empathy, integrity, and altruism, which contribute to a more harmonious society. For example, many humanitarian organizations are rooted in religious principles and have made significant contributions to global welfare.

Conversely, critics argue that religion is becoming increasingly irrelevant in an era dominated by scientific advancements and secular values. They contend that religious beliefs often hinder progress and perpetuate outdated traditions. Moreover, religious conflicts have historically been a source of violence and strife, casting a shadow over the positive aspects of faith. For instance, the Crusades and other religious wars have left a lasting legacy of division and hostility.

In my opinion, while religion may not hold the same central position it once did, it continues to be a vital source of comfort and guidance for many individuals. It provides a moral compass and a sense of community that is invaluable in an increasingly complex world. Therefore, it is essential to acknowledge and respect the role of religion in society, while also addressing its potential drawbacks.

Band 9.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough, sophisticated development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately and precisely, with sophisticated collocations.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally accurate grammar and minimal errors.

Answer:

The role of religion in contemporary society is a multifaceted issue that elicits divergent viewpoints. Proponents of religion's significance often highlight its capacity to instill moral values and ethical principles. Religious doctrines frequently espouse virtues such as benevolence, rectitude, and philanthropy, which contribute to a more equitable and compassionate society. For example, numerous philanthropic endeavors are underpinned by religious tenets and have made substantial contributions to global well-being.

Conversely, skeptics argue that religion is becoming increasingly anachronistic in an era characterized by scientific progress and secular ideologies. They posit that religious beliefs often impede advancement and perpetuate antiquated customs. Furthermore, religious conflicts have historically been a catalyst for violence and discord, casting a pall over the positive aspects of faith. For instance, the Crusades and other religious wars have left an indelible mark of division and animosity.

In my view, while religion may not occupy the same pivotal position it once did, it remains an indispensable source of solace and guidance for many individuals. It provides a moral framework and a sense of community that is invaluable in an increasingly intricate world. Therefore, it is imperative to recognize and respect the role of religion in society, while also addressing its potential pitfalls.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adj.) - causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.

• Example: The role of religion in society is a contentious issue.

1. Proponents (n.) - a person who advocates for a theory, proposal, or course of action.

• Example: Proponents of religion's significance often highlight its moral benefits.

1. Detractors (n.) - a person who disparages someone or something.

• Example: Detractors argue that religion is becoming increasingly irrelevant.

1. Foster (v.) - to encourage the development of something, especially something desirable.

• Example: Religion fosters moral values and ethical behavior.

1. Empathy (n.) - the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

• Example: Religious teachings emphasize empathy and compassion.

1. Altruism (n.) - the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.

• Example: Many humanitarian organizations are rooted in altruism.

1. Anachronistic (adj.) - belonging to a period other than that being depicted; chronologically misplaced.

• Example: Religion is becoming increasingly anachronistic in the modern world.

1. Impede (v.) - to obstruct or hinder the progress of something.

• Example: Religious beliefs often impede advancement.

1. Perpetuate (v.) - to make something continue indefinitely; to prolong the existence of something.

• Example: Religion perpetuates outdated traditions.

1. Philanthropic (adj.) - seeking to promote the welfare of others, especially by the generous donation of money to good causes.

• Example: Numerous philanthropic endeavors are underpinned by religious tenets.

1. Indelible (adj.) - not able to be removed, erased, or forgotten; permanent.

• Example: The Crusades have left an indelible mark of division.

1. Multifaceted (adj.) - having many different aspects or features.

• Example: The role of religion in society is a multifaceted issue.

1. Divergent (adj.) - tending to be different or develop in different directions.

• Example: The role of religion elicits divergent viewpoints.

1. Espouse (v.) - to adopt or support a cause, belief, or way of life.

• Example: Religious doctrines espouse virtues such as benevolence.

1. Equitable (adj.) - fair and impartial.

• Example: Religion contributes to a more equitable society.

1. Secular (adj.) - not connected with religious or spiritual matters.

• Example: Scientific progress and secular ideologies are shaping the modern world.

1. Catalyst (n.) - a person or event that quickly precipitates a change or reaction.

• Example: Religious conflicts have been a catalyst for violence.

1. Pall (n.) - a gloomy or depressing atmosphere or influence.

• Example: Religious conflicts cast a pall over the positive aspects of faith.

1. Imperative (adj.) - of vital importance; crucial.

• Example: It is imperative to recognize the role of religion in society.

1. Pitfalls (n.) - a hidden or not easily recognized danger or difficulty.

• Example: It is important to address the potential pitfalls of religion.

Common Mistakes

1. Overgeneralization: Students often make sweeping statements about religion without providing specific examples or evidence to support their claims.

1. Lack of Balance: Some students focus too much on one side of the argument and fail to adequately address the opposing view, which can result in a lower score for Task Response.

1. Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or vocabulary can make the response seem less sophisticated and can negatively impact the Lexical Resource score.

1. Grammatical Errors: Common grammatical mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement errors, can detract from the overall quality of the response and lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

1. Poor Organization: A lack of clear paragraph structure or logical progression of ideas can make the response difficult to follow and can negatively impact the Coherence and Cohesion score.

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