IELTS Writing Task 2: Racism (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Discuss the positive and negative aspects of racism. Give relevant examples and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

The effects of racism are both positive and negative. On one hand, racism can create division and hatred between people. For example, in some countries, racism leads to violence and discrimination. On the other hand, racism can also bring people together to fight against it. For instance, movements like Black Lives Matter have united people to protest against racial injustice. In my opinion, the negative effects of racism outweigh the positive ones.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but with some repetition and unclear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and inaccurate vocabulary with some errors in word choice.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

Racism has both beneficial and detrimental effects on society. Positively, racism can raise awareness about cultural differences and promote dialogue. For example, educational programs about racism encourage people to learn about other cultures. However, racism often leads to social inequality and conflict. For instance, racial profiling by police can result in unjust arrests. In my view, while awareness campaigns are helpful, the negative consequences of racism are more severe.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some mechanical issues.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

The phenomenon of racism manifests both constructive and destructive impacts on communities. On the positive side, racism can foster solidarity among marginalized groups, as seen in the global movement against racial discrimination. Additionally, it can stimulate cultural exchange and education, as people seek to understand and combat prejudice. Conversely, racism perpetuates systemic inequalities, such as disparities in employment and housing opportunities. Furthermore, it can incite violence and hatred, as evidenced by historical and contemporary events. Personally, I believe that the detrimental effects of racism far outweigh any potential benefits, as it fundamentally undermines social cohesion and human dignity.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with fully developed ideas and relevant examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and logical organization.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.

Band 9.0 Answer

Racism, a pervasive and complex social issue, yields both ostensibly beneficial and undeniably harmful consequences. Proponents argue that racism can galvanize collective action and promote cultural awareness. For instance, anti-racism movements have mobilized communities to advocate for policy changes and educational reforms. Moreover, the discourse surrounding racism encourages inter-cultural dialogue and empathy. Nevertheless, the deleterious effects of racism are profound and far-reaching. Systemic racism perpetuates economic and social inequalities, as evidenced by disparities in incarceration rates and access to quality education. Additionally, racism fosters a climate of fear and hostility, as seen in the rise of hate crimes and xenophobic rhetoric. In my view, the corrosive impact of racism on social fabric and individual well-being far outweighs any potential advantages, necessitating urgent and sustained efforts to eradicate this scourge.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with fully developed ideas and relevant, extended, and supported examples.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and logical organization.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with full flexibility and precision.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with full flexibility and accuracy.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Phenomenon (n.) - A fact or situation that is observed to exist or happen, whether it is natural or artificial.

• Example: The phenomenon of racism is a complex social issue.

1. Manifest (v.) - To show or demonstrate something clearly.

• Example: Racism manifests in various forms, such as discrimination and prejudice.

1. Perpetuate (v.) - To make something continue indefinitely or repeatedly.

• Example: Systemic racism perpetuates economic and social inequalities.

1. Galvanize (v.) - To shock or excite someone into taking action.

• Example: Anti-racism movements have galvanized communities to advocate for policy changes.

1. Deleterious (adj.) - Harmful or damaging.

• Example: The deleterious effects of racism are profound and far-reaching.

1. Xenophobic (adj.) - Having or showing a dislike or prejudice against people from other countries.

• Example: Xenophobic rhetoric can foster a climate of fear and hostility.

1. Scourge (n.) - A person or thing that causes great trouble or suffering.

• Example: Racism is a scourge that necessitates urgent and sustained efforts to eradicate.

1. Discourse (n.) - Written or spoken communication or debate.

• Example: The discourse surrounding racism encourages inter-cultural dialogue and empathy.

1. Galvanize (v.) - To shock or excite someone into taking action.

• Example: Anti-racism movements have galvanized communities to advocate for policy changes.

1. Pervasive (adj.) - Spreading widely throughout an area or a group of people.

• Example: Racism is a pervasive and complex social issue.

1. Ostensibly (adv.) - As appears or is stated to be true, though not necessarily so; apparently.

• Example: Racism yields both ostensibly beneficial and undeniably harmful consequences.

1. Empathy (n.) - The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

• Example: The discourse surrounding racism encourages inter-cultural dialogue and empathy.

1. Incite (v.) - To encourage or stir up violent or unlawful behavior.

• Example: Racism can incite violence and hatred.

1. Undermines (v.) - To make something weaker or less effective, especially gradually or secretly.

• Example: Racism fundamentally undermines social cohesion and human dignity.

1. Far-reaching (adj.) - Extending or likely to extend to a great distance, degree, or scope.

• Example: The deleterious effects of racism are profound and far-reaching.

1. Necessitating (v.) - Making something necessary as a result or consequence.

• Example: The corrosive impact of racism necessitates urgent and sustained efforts to eradicate this scourge.

1. Corrosive (adj.) - Slowly causing something to become weaker or less effective.

• Example: The corrosive impact of racism on social fabric and individual well-being.

1. Sustained (adj.) - Continuing for an extended period or maintained at a particular level.

• Example: Urgent and sustained efforts to eradicate racism are necessary.

1. Galvanize (v.) - To shock or excite someone into taking action.

• Example: Anti-racism movements have galvanized communities to advocate for policy changes.

1. Scourge (n.) - A person or thing that causes great trouble or suffering.

• Example: Racism is a scourge that necessitates urgent and sustained efforts to eradicate.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students fail to present a clear position on the topic, resulting in a lower Task Response score.
2. Insufficient Examples: Providing only one or two examples can weaken the argument and reduce the overall score.
3. Repetition: Repeating the same points or vocabulary can make the essay seem less coherent and reduce the Lexical Resource score.
4. Poor Organization: Poorly organized essays can confuse the reader and lower the Coherence and Cohesion score.
5. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical errors can significantly impact the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

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