IELTS Writing Task 2: Racism - Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

Related guides:

• IELTS Writing Task 2: Plastic Pollution (Advantages…
• IELTS Writing Task 2: Climate Change Discussion Sample Band…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Renewable Energy Agree Disagree Sample…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Renewable Energy Two Part Question…
• IELTS Writing Task 2 Deforestation Two Part Question Sample…

The Prompt

Topic: Racism is increasing in many societies around the world. Why is this happening? What can be done to reduce it?

Task: Write an essay of at least 250 words giving your opinion on the causes and solutions to this problem.

Band 6.0 Model Answer

Racism is becoming a bigger problem in many countries. There are several reasons for this and some solutions that could help.

First, one of the main reasons for racism is ignorance. Many people do not understand other cultures and this makes them afraid. When people are afraid, they often act in bad ways. Another reason is the media. Sometimes, the news and movies show negative things about certain groups of people. This makes people think badly about them. Also, some politicians use racism to get more support. They say bad things about other groups to make their own supporters happier.

To reduce racism, education is very important. Schools should teach about different cultures and histories. This can help people understand each other better. Also, the media should be more responsible. They should show good things about all groups of people. Governments can also help by making laws against racism. If people are punished for being racist, they might think twice before doing it.

In conclusion, racism is a big problem but there are things we can do to stop it. Education, media responsibility, and strong laws can all help make the world a better place.

Scoring Breakdown

Task Response (TR): 6.0

• Presents a relevant position but with some limitations in depth and development
• Addresses all parts of the task but with uneven treatment
• Offers a clear problem-solution approach but lacks detailed supporting ideas

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 5.5

• Logical organization with clear paragraphs but limited use of cohesive devices
• Some ideas are repeated or underdeveloped
• Sequencing of ideas is generally clear but could be improved

Lexical Resource (LR): 5.5

• Attempts a range of vocabulary but with frequent errors in word choice
• Some appropriate academic words are used (e.g., “ignorance,” “responsible”)
• Limited variety in word choice and occasional inappropriate word forms

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 5.5

• Attempts complex sentences but with frequent errors in grammar and punctuation
• Some errors interfere with meaning but overall the text is understandable
• Limited use of complex structures effectively

Vocabulary Highlights

| Word/phrase | Definition | Example Collocation | |-------------|-------------|---------------------| | Ignorance | Lack of knowledge or awareness | Spread ignorance, combat ignorance | Media | Means of communication (TV, newspapers, internet) | Social media, mainstream media | Responsible | Having an obligation to do something | Be responsible for, act responsibly | Punish | Impose a penalty on someone | Punish someone for, be punished for | Laws | Rules made by governments | Enforce laws, break laws | Support | Encouragement or approval | Gain support, political support | Negative | Bad or adverse | Negative news, negative impact | Cultures | The customs and beliefs of a group of people | Different cultures, cultural diversity | Governments | The group of people who control a country | National government, local governments | Solutions | Ways of solving problems | Find solutions, practical solutions

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Overgeneralizing: Using broad statements without specific examples or details (e.g., “People are ignorant” instead of “Many people lack education about other cultures”).
2. Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or words without varied expression (e.g., using “racism” multiple times without synonyms).
3. Grammatical Errors: Incorrect sentence structures or verb tenses (e.g., “They say bad things” instead of “They have said bad things”).
4. Limited Vocabulary: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary instead of more sophisticated academic language (e.g., “bad” instead of “negative”).
5. Poor Cohesion: Failing to connect ideas smoothly with linking words (e.g., “First,” “Also,” “In conclusion”) or transitions (e.g., “Moreover,” “However”).

How to Improve to Band 7.0 and Above

• Add Specific Examples: Use real-world examples to support your ideas (e.g., “Studies show that education reduces prejudice”).
• Expand Ideas: Develop each point with more detail and analysis (e.g., explain how ignorance leads to fear).
• Improve Vocabulary: Use a wider range of academic words and phrases (e.g., “discrimination” instead of “racism”).
• Enhance Cohesion: Use more linking words and transitions to connect ideas (e.g., “Furthermore,” “Consequently”).
• Correct Grammar: Pay attention to sentence structure and verb tenses (e.g., “The media have shown negative stereotypes” instead of “The media show negative things”).

Get your own response scored by AI on English AIdol.