IELTS Writing Task 2: Racism (Advantages Disadvantages) — Band 6/7/8/9 Models

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The Prompt

Many people argue that racism has no advantages and only brings harm to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Model Answers

Band 6 Answer

Racism is bad for society and we should not have it. Some people say there are advantages to racism but I disagree. First, racism makes people feel bad. When people are treated differently because of their race it is unfair. Second, racism can lead to violence. People who are racist might hurt others. Finally, racism is against the law in many countries. If we allow racism we are breaking the rules. In conclusion, racism has no advantages and we should stop it.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR) 5.0: Presents a position but with unclear arguments and some irrelevant content
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 6.0: Simple organizational structure with some logical sequencing but frequent errors in cohesive devices
• Lexical Resource (LR) 5.5: Limited range of vocabulary with frequent errors in word choice
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 5.5: Frequent grammatical errors and limited sentence variety

Band 7 Answer

The negative impacts of racism are well-documented, but some argue it has certain advantages. I disagree with this viewpoint for several reasons. Firstly, racism creates social divisions and tensions. When people are treated differently based on their race, it fosters resentment and can lead to conflict. For example, historical instances of racial discrimination have often resulted in violent confrontations. Secondly, racism hinders social progress. It prevents societies from benefiting from the diverse skills and perspectives that different racial groups bring. A study by Cambridge Assessment English found that diverse teams are 35% more likely to be innovative. Finally, racism is often illegal. Many countries have laws against racial discrimination, and allowing it would be against these laws. In conclusion, racism has no advantages and should be eradicated.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR) 7.0: Presents a clear position with relevant, extended arguments
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 7.0: Logical organizational structure with some use of cohesive devices but with some errors
• Lexical Resource (LR) 7.0: Adequate range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but some errors in word choice
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 7.0: Some complex sentence forms but frequent grammatical errors and inappropriate use of punctuation

Band 8 Answer

While some individuals contend that racism may have certain advantages, I firmly believe that its detrimental effects far outweigh any potential benefits. This essay will explore the negative impacts of racism on social harmony, economic progress, and legal frameworks. Firstly, racism undermines social cohesion. It creates divisions among people and fosters an environment of mistrust and hostility. For instance, the Civil Rights Movement in the United States demonstrated how deeply entrenched racism can lead to widespread social unrest. Secondly, racism stifles economic development. Societies that embrace diversity are more likely to thrive, as different racial groups bring unique skills and perspectives. According to a report by the United Nations, countries with high levels of racial diversity have a 20% higher GDP growth rate. Lastly, racism is often contrary to legal principles. Many nations have enacted laws to combat racial discrimination, and permitting racism would be a violation of these legal standards. In conclusion, the advantages of racism are negligible compared to its profound negative impacts.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR) 8.0: Presents a clear position with fully extended arguments
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 8.0: Logical organizational structure with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices
• Lexical Resource (LR) 8.0: Adequate range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items used appropriately
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 8.0: Some complex sentence forms used appropriately but with occasional errors

Band 9 Answer

The notion that racism may confer certain advantages is a contentious one, but I strongly assert that its detrimental effects are far more significant. This essay will elucidate the deleterious impacts of racism on societal harmony, economic prosperity, and legal frameworks. Firstly, racism erodes social cohesion. It engenders divisions among people and cultivates an atmosphere of animosity and distrust. For example, the apartheid era in South Africa exemplified how institutionalized racism can lead to profound social schisms. Secondly, racism impedes economic advancement. Societies that celebrate diversity are more likely to prosper, as different racial groups contribute unique skills and viewpoints. According to a comprehensive study by the World Bank, nations with high levels of racial diversity exhibit a 25% higher rate of innovation. Lastly, racism is often antithetical to legal principles. Many countries have established robust legal frameworks to combat racial discrimination, and condoning racism would be a breach of these legal standards. In conclusion, the purported advantages of racism are outweighed by its extensive negative repercussions.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR) 9.0: Presents a clear position with fully extended arguments and supported by relevant examples
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC) 9.0: Logical organizational structure with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices
• Lexical Resource (LR) 9.0: Sophisticated vocabulary with a wide range of appropriate words and phrases
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA) 9.0: Complex sentence forms used appropriately with no grammatical errors

15+ Vocabulary Highlights

1. Detrimental (adj) - causing harm or damage

• The detrimental effects of racism are well-documented.

1. Undermines (verb) - to make something weaker or less effective

• Racism undermines social cohesion.

1. Stifles (verb) - to prevent something from growing or developing

• Racism stifles economic development.

1. Entrenched (adj) - established firmly and difficult to change

• Deeply entrenched racism can lead to widespread social unrest.

1. Schisms (noun) - a division or separation

• Institutionalized racism can lead to profound social schisms.

1. Engenders (verb) - to cause or produce something, often a feeling or situation

• Racism engenders divisions among people.

1. Cultivates (verb) - to encourage the growth or development of something

• Racism cultivates an atmosphere of animosity and distrust.

1. Impedes (verb) - to delay or prevent something from happening

• Racism impedes economic advancement.

1. Celebrate (verb) - to praise or honor something publicly

• Societies that celebrate diversity are more likely to prosper.

1. Exemplified (verb) - to be a typical example of something

• The apartheid era exemplified how institutionalized racism can lead to profound social schisms.

1. Comprehensive (adj) - complete and including everything that is necessary

• According to a comprehensive study by the World Bank...

1. Condoning (verb) - to approve or allow something, especially without expressing disapproval

• Condoning racism would be a breach of these legal standards.

1. Antithetical (adj) - being in direct opposition to something

• Racism is often antithetical to legal principles.

1. Prosper (verb) - to be successful in an economic or business way

• Societies that celebrate diversity are more likely to prosper.

1. Repercussions (noun) - an unintended consequence of an event or action, especially an unwelcome one

• The purported advantages of racism are outweighed by its extensive negative repercussions.

5 Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Presenting a one-sided argument: Some students focus only on the negative aspects of racism and fail to acknowledge opposing viewpoints, which can limit their score in the Task Response criteria.
2. Using inappropriate vocabulary: Students often use complex words incorrectly, which can negatively impact their Lexical Resource score. For example, using 'engenders' instead of 'causes' without understanding the subtle difference.
3. Incorrect sentence structure: Many students struggle with forming complex sentences, leading to grammatical errors that can lower their Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.
4. Poor organization: Some essays lack a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which can affect the Coherence and Cohesion score. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
5. Weak examples: Students often use vague or irrelevant examples to support their arguments. Using specific, well-researched examples can significantly improve the Task Response score.

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