IELTS Writing Task 2: Public Healthcare - Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people argue that governments should invest more in public healthcare, while others believe that individuals should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.5 Sample Answer
Governments should invest more in public healthcare because it benefits everyone in society. When people are healthy, they can work better and contribute more to the economy. Also, public healthcare ensures that even poor people can get medical treatment. On the other hand, some people say that individuals should take care of their own health. They argue that if people eat healthy food and exercise regularly, they will not need as much medical care. However, not everyone can afford to eat healthy food or join a gym. Therefore, I believe that governments should invest more in public healthcare.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): The response presents a clear position throughout the response. The main trends are supported by relevant, extended ideas, but some ideas are unclear or vague. The response addresses the task, but may not fully develop or support the main ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The information is logically organized, but there may be some unclear or vague language. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, but there may be some errors.
- Lexical Resource (LR): The response uses a mix of appropriate and less appropriate vocabulary. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, but there are also some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but the response is generally easy to understand.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Invest (v): to put money, effort, or time into something to make it better or more successful.
- Example: Governments should invest more in public healthcare.
- Benefit (n): an advantage or profit gained from something.
- Example: Public healthcare benefits everyone in society.
- Contribute (v): to give something, especially money, in order to help achieve or provide something.
- Example: Healthy people can contribute more to the economy.
- Ensure (v): to make certain that something happens or is the case.
- Example: Public healthcare ensures that everyone can get medical treatment.
- Afford (v): to have enough money to pay for something.
- Example: Not everyone can afford to eat healthy food.
- Exercise (n): physical activity that is done in order to improve health and fitness.
- Example: People should exercise regularly to stay healthy.
- Medical (adj): relating to the treatment of illnesses or injuries.
- Example: Public healthcare provides medical treatment for everyone.
- Economy (n): the state of a country or region in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services.
- Example: Healthy people can contribute more to the economy.
- Society (n): the community of people living in a particular country or region, considered as a group with shared interests and values.
- Example: Public healthcare benefits everyone in society.
- Healthy (adj): in good health; not ill or injured.
- Example: People should eat healthy food to stay healthy.
- Gym (n): a place where people go to exercise and improve their fitness.
- Example: Not everyone can afford to join a gym.
- Treatment (n): the medical care given to a patient for an illness or injury.
- Example: Public healthcare provides medical treatment for everyone.
- Regularly (adv): happening or done at regular intervals.
- Example: People should exercise regularly to stay healthy.
- Position (n): a point of view or opinion.
- Example: The response presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Vague (adj): not clear or definite.
- Example: Some ideas are unclear or vague.
- Develop (v): to grow or cause to grow and become more advanced.
- Example: The response may not fully develop or support the main ideas.
- Appropriate (adj): suitable or proper in the circumstances.
- Example: The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate.
- Collocation (n): the way in which words are commonly used together in a language.
- Example: There are some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Sentence (n): a set of words that is complete in itself, typically containing a subject and a predicate.
- Example: The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Punctuation (n): the marks used in writing to separate sentences and their elements and to clarify meaning.
- Example: There are some errors in grammar and punctuation.
Common Mistakes
- Not addressing both views: Some students only discuss one side of the argument and ignore the other.
- Using vague language: Students may use unclear or vague language, which can make their ideas difficult to understand.
- Not supporting ideas with examples: Students may present ideas without providing examples or evidence to support them.
- Making grammatical errors: Students may make errors in grammar and punctuation, which can make their writing difficult to understand.
- Not using a variety of vocabulary: Students may use the same words repeatedly, which can make their writing boring and repetitive.
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