IELTS Writing Task 2: Private Tutoring (Discussion)

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• IELTS Writing Task 2 Rehabilitation: Band 9.0 Sample Answer

Prompt: Some people believe that the rise of private tutoring benefits students by providing personalised support. Others argue it creates inequality and puts undue pressure on young people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Band 9.0 Model Answer

Private tutoring has become a ubiquitous feature of modern education, sparking debate over its merits and drawbacks. Proponents argue that it offers invaluable customised learning, tailoring instruction to a child's specific pace and learning style, which is often unattainable in overcrowded classrooms. This one-on-one attention can demystify complex subjects, boost academic confidence, and address specific knowledge gaps effectively.

Conversely, critics rightly highlight the issue of inequity. High-quality tutoring is a luxury service, financially inaccessible to many families. This creates a two-tiered system where affluent students gain an unfair advantage, potentially exacerbating existing social divisions and compromising the principle of equal opportunity in education. Furthermore, an excessive reliance on tutors can lead to student burnout from an overly packed schedule and diminish the development of independent learning skills.

In my view, while the benefits of personalised academic support are undeniable, the societal costs of entrenched inequality are too great to ignore. The solution does not lie in prohibiting tutoring but in reforming mainstream education to integrate more personalised learning strategies, thereby reducing the demand for private services and levelling the academic playing field.

Scoring Breakdown (TR/CC/LR/GRA):

• Task Response (TR): 9 - Fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Presents a clear, relevant, and fully extended position.
• Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 9 - Logically organises information and ideas; progression is seamless. Cohesive devices are used skillfully and unobtrusively.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with full flexibility and precision. Natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 9 - Uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and control; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.

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Band 8.0 Model Answer

The increasing prevalence of private tutoring is a topic of considerable debate. On one hand, it is argued that tutors provide essential individualised assistance. In large classes, teachers cannot always cater to every student's needs, so tutoring can help struggling learners catch up and gifted students excel beyond the standard curriculum.

On the other hand, a significant drawback is the potential to widen the gap between rich and poor students. Affluent families can afford the best tutors, giving their children a distinct advantage in competitive exams and school admissions. This can undermine the fairness of the education system. Additionally, an overload of tutoring sessions can lead to increased stress and fatigue for students, leaving them with little time for relaxation or extracurricular activities.

I believe that private tutoring has both positive and negative aspects. It is an effective tool for academic improvement but its cost makes it inequitable. Governments and schools should focus on improving teaching quality and support systems within schools to minimise the need for external tutoring.

Scoring Breakdown (TR/CC/LR/GRA):

• TR: 8 - Sufficiently addresses all parts of the prompt. Presents a well-developed response with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
• CC: 8 - Sequences information and ideas logically. Manages all aspects of cohesion well. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately.
• LR: 8 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings. Skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but may have occasional inaccuracies.
• GRA: 8 - Uses a wide range of structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. Makes only very occasional errors.

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Band 7.0 Model Answer

Nowadays, many students are getting private tuition. This trend has both good and bad sides. Some people think it is good because the tutor can focus only on one student. This means the lessons can be made easier to understand for that student's level. For example, if a student is weak in maths, the tutor can spend more time on difficult problems.

However, other people think it is not fair. The reason is that private tutoring is expensive. Not all parents can pay for it. Therefore, children from wealthy families get more help and can get higher grades. This is not equal for everyone. Also, students might feel more pressure if they have to study after school every day.

In my opinion, tutoring is helpful for learning but it can cause inequality. Schools should try to provide extra help to students who need it so that private tutors are not so necessary.

Scoring Breakdown (TR/CC/LR/GRA):

• TR: 7 - Addresses all parts of the prompt. Presents a clear position throughout. Main ideas are extended and supported.
• CC: 7 - Logically organises information and ideas; clear progression. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, though there may be some under-/over-use.
• LR: 7 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation.
• GRA: 7 - Uses a variety of complex structures. Produces frequent error-free sentences. Has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors.

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Band 6.0 Model Answer

Many students go to private tutor. This is good and bad. It is good because teacher in school has many student. Tutor has one student so he can teach better. Student can learn more fast and get good marks. This is the advantage.

The disadvantage is money. Tutoring cost a lot. Poor family cannot pay. So their children cannot have tutor and maybe get lower marks. This is not good for equality. Another problem is student become tired if they study too much with school and tutor.

I think tutoring is good for study but it is a problem for poor people. Maybe government can do something.

Scoring Breakdown (TR/CC/LR/GRA):

• TR: 6 - Addresses all parts of the prompt but some parts may be more fully covered than others. Presents a relevant position but conclusions may become unclear or repetitive.
• CC: 6 - Arranges information and ideas coherently but overall progression may lack clarity. Uses cohesive devices effectively but cohesion within sentences may be faulty.
• LR: 6 - Has an adequate range of vocabulary for the task but makes noticeable errors in word choice and collocation.
• GRA: 6 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but makes frequent grammar and punctuation errors. These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.

Key Vocabulary Highlights

| Vocabulary | Definition & Collocations | | :--- | :--- | | Ubiquitous (adj) | Found everywhere. Collocations: ubiquitous feature, ubiquitous phenomenon. | | Customised (adj) | Made to suit a particular individual. Collocations: customised learning, customised support. | | Inequity (n) | Lack of fairness or justice. Collocations: social inequity, create inequity. | | Exacerbate (v) | To make a problem worse. Collocations: exacerbate divisions, exacerbate a problem. | | Entrenched (adj) | Firmly established and difficult to change. Collocations: entrenched inequality, entrenched divisions. | | Prevalence (n) | The fact of being common or widespread. Collocations: increasing prevalence, high prevalence. | | Individualised (adj) | Designed for a particular person. Collocations: individualised assistance, individualised plan. | | Undermine (v) | To make something weaker. Collocations: undermine fairness, undermine confidence. | | Affluent (adj) | Having a lot of money. Collocations: affluent families, affluent areas. | | Curriculum (n) | The subjects comprising a course of study. Collocations: standard curriculum, school curriculum. |

5 Common Mistakes on This Topic

1. Not Discussing Both Views Equally: Students often spend too long on one view and neglect the other. The prompt requires a balanced discussion before giving your opinion.
2. Using Informal Language: Words like "kids," "a lot," or "get good marks" are too informal for academic writing. Use "children," "a significant number," and "achieve high grades."
3. Overgeneralising: Making sweeping claims without support (e.g., "All tutors are expensive") hurts your score. Use hedging language like "can be" or "often."
4. Repetitive Ideas: Simply repeating the same point with different words (e.g., "It is unfair... it is not equal") shows a lack of lexical resource.
5. Unclear Opinion: The essay must finish with your clear opinion. A weak conclusion like "it has both good and bad sides" is not enough.

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