IELTS Writing Task 2: Private Tutoring – Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Prompt: Some people believe that private tutoring is essential for academic success, while others argue that it creates educational inequalities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 7.5 Sample Answer

> Private tutoring has become increasingly popular, but whether it is beneficial or harmful remains a contentious issue. While some argue that it provides personalized attention and improves academic performance, others contend that it exacerbates educational inequalities. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting a personal view.

> On one hand, private tutoring offers several advantages. Firstly, it allows students to receive individualized attention that they may not get in a crowded classroom. According to a 2023 study by Cambridge Assessment English, 60% of students who received private tutoring showed significant improvement in their grades. Secondly, tutoring can help students build confidence and develop better study habits. For example, a student struggling with mathematics might gain a deeper understanding of the subject through one-on-one sessions, leading to better performance in school.

> On the other hand, private tutoring can also create educational inequalities. Not all students have access to private tutoring due to financial constraints. This creates a disparity between those who can afford additional help and those who cannot. Furthermore, over-reliance on private tutoring can undermine the quality of public education. If schools are seen as insufficient, fewer resources may be allocated to improving them, perpetuating the cycle of inequality.

> In my opinion, while private tutoring can be beneficial, it should not be seen as a substitute for quality public education. Governments should invest more in improving school systems to ensure that all students have access to a good education. Private tutoring should be a supplementary tool rather than a necessity. By doing so, we can reduce educational inequalities and ensure that every student has the opportunity to succeed.

Scoring Breakdown

| Criteria | Band 7.5 Score | Explanation | |------------------------|----------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Task Response (TR) | 7.5 | Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas. | | Coherence & Cohesion (CC) | 7.5 | Uses cohesive devices effectively, though some mechanical cohesion markers could be improved. | | Lexical Resource (LR) | 7.5 | Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items. | | Grammar (GRA) | 7.5 | Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors. |

Vocabulary Highlights

Academic Vocabulary

1. Contentious (adj.) – Causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument.

• Example: The issue of private tutoring remains a contentious one.

1. Exacerbate (v.) – To make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse.

• Example: Over-reliance on private tutoring exacerbates educational inequalities.

1. Disparity (n.) – A great difference between things that should be similar.

• Example: There is a significant disparity between students who can afford tutoring and those who cannot.

1. Underlie (v.) – To be the cause or basis of something.

• Example: The issue of inequality underlies the debate on private tutoring.

1. Allocate (v.) – To give a share or part of something to someone or something.

• Example: More resources should be allocated to improving public education.

1. Substitute (n.) – A person or thing that takes the place of another.

• Example: Private tutoring should not be seen as a substitute for quality education.

1. Supplementary (adj.) – Adding new information or extra material to something that already exists.

• Example: Private tutoring can be a supplementary tool for students.

1. Perpetuate (v.) – To make something continue for a long time, especially something bad.

• Example: Over-reliance on private tutoring perpetuates the cycle of inequality.

1. Constraints (n.) – Limitations or restrictions.

• Example: Financial constraints prevent many students from accessing private tutoring.

1. Individualized (adj.) – Made or planned for a particular person or situation.

• Example: Private tutoring provides individualized attention to students.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Balance – Failing to discuss both sides of the argument equally.
2. Overuse of Simple Sentences – Not using a mix of complex and simple sentences.
3. Repetition of Vocabulary – Using the same words repeatedly instead of varying vocabulary.
4. Poor Cohesion – Not using cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas.
5. Irrelevant Examples – Providing examples that do not support the argument.

How to Improve Your Score

Step 1: Understand the Prompt

• Read the question carefully and identify the key components.
• Identify the task – Is it a discussion, opinion, or problem-solution essay?
• Plan your response – Outline your main ideas and supporting points.

Step 2: Develop a Clear Position

• State your opinion clearly in the introduction.
• Support your position with relevant examples and evidence.
• Acknowledge the opposing view and refute it logically.

Step 3: Use Advanced Vocabulary

• Expand your vocabulary by learning academic words and phrases.
• Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
• Practice using complex sentences to demonstrate linguistic range.

Step 4: Improve Coherence and Cohesion

• Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases.
• Ensure logical flow between paragraphs.
• Avoid abrupt shifts in topic or argument.

Step 5: Proofread Your Work

• Check for grammatical errors and correct them.
• Ensure clarity and conciseness in your writing.
• Review your argument to ensure it is well-supported and logical.

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