IELTS Writing Task 2: Private Healthcare – Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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The Prompt

Prompt: Some people believe that private healthcare should be encouraged. Others argue that it should be banned and only public healthcare should exist. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Response

Response:

In my opinion, private healthcare is beneficial for people who can afford it because it offers faster services and better facilities. However, it can cause problems for those who cannot afford it because they might be ignored. Some people think that private healthcare should be banned because it creates inequality in the society. They believe that everyone should have the same access to healthcare services. On the other hand, others argue that private healthcare should be encouraged because it can help to reduce the burden on public healthcare systems. In my view, private healthcare should be allowed but with proper regulations to ensure that everyone has access to basic healthcare services.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Addresses the task but with limited development. Presents a clear position but does not fully extend and support ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Information is logically organized but with some repetition. There are some connectors but not always used appropriately.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate and inaccurate vocabulary. Some word choice is repetitive.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Sentences are mostly error-free but with some grammatical mistakes. There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures.

Band 7.0 Response

Response:

The debate over private healthcare has been ongoing for many years. On one hand, some people believe that private healthcare should be banned because it creates inequality. They argue that healthcare is a basic human right and should be accessible to everyone regardless of their financial status. On the other hand, others contend that private healthcare should be encouraged because it can improve the overall quality of healthcare services. It can also provide more options for patients who can afford it. In my view, private healthcare should be allowed but with strict regulations to ensure that it does not compromise the quality of public healthcare services.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Addresses the task fully, presenting a clear position with some extension and support.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Information is logically organized with a clear progression. Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items. Some word choice is repetitive but generally appropriate.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Mostly error-free with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Occasional errors do not impede understanding.

Band 8.0 Response

Response:

The proliferation of private healthcare has sparked considerable debate regarding its societal implications. Proponents of banning private healthcare argue that it exacerbates social inequities by prioritizing those who can afford it, thereby marginalizing vulnerable populations. They advocate for a universal healthcare system that ensures equitable access to medical services. Conversely, advocates for private healthcare contend that it fosters competition, driving innovation and efficiency in the healthcare sector. They posit that it can alleviate the strain on overburdened public healthcare systems. In my view, while private healthcare offers certain advantages, it should be subject to rigorous regulation to prevent exacerbating healthcare disparities and to ensure the provision of essential services to all citizens.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): Addresses the task fully, presenting a clear position with thorough extension and support. Provides relevant examples and ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Information is logically organized with a clear progression. Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively and appropriately.
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items used appropriately. Vocabulary is varied and precise.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Mostly error-free with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Errors, if any, are minor and do not impede understanding.

Key Vocabulary

1. Proliferation (n.): Rapid increase or spread. Example: The proliferation of private healthcare has sparked debate.
2. Exacerbates (v.): Makes a problem worse. Example: Private healthcare exacerbates social inequities.
3. Marginalizing (v.): Treating someone as unimportant or insignificant. Example: Marginalizing vulnerable populations.
4. Universal healthcare (n.): A healthcare system that provides care and financial support to all citizens. Example: They advocate for a universal healthcare system.
5. Alleviate (v.): Make pain or suffering less severe. Example: Alleviate the strain on public healthcare systems.
6. Overburdened (adj.): Excessively loaded or burdened. Example: Overburdened public healthcare systems.
7. Rigorous (adj.): Extremely thorough and careful. Example: Subject to rigorous regulation.
8. Disparities (n.): Differences, especially unfair ones. Example: Prevent exacerbating healthcare disparities.
9. Essential services (n.): Basic services necessary for the well-being of the population. Example: Ensure the provision of essential services.
10. Advocates (n.): People who publicly support or recommend a particular cause or policy. Example: Advocates for private healthcare.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Depth: Many students provide a surface-level discussion without delving into the nuances of the topic.
2. Repetition: Repeating the same words and phrases can make the response seem less sophisticated.
3. Inappropriate Vocabulary: Using words that are not suitable for the context can lower the score in the Lexical Resource band.
4. Grammatical Errors: Simple grammatical mistakes can distract the reader and lower the score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy band.
5. Poor Organization: A response that is not logically organized can be difficult to follow and may result in a lower score in the Coherence and Cohesion band.

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