IELTS Writing Task 2: Online Shopping - Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
Related guides:
Prompt
Some people think that online shopping is convenient and beneficial, while others believe it has negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0
Sample Answer
Online shopping is very popular now. Some people say it is good because you can buy things easily. You don't have to go to the store. Also, you can find many products online. But others say it is bad. They think it makes people lazy. Also, sometimes the products are not good quality. I think online shopping is good because it is convenient. But sometimes it is bad because you can't see the product before you buy it.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a position but lacks development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are somewhat organized but lack clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Limited range of vocabulary with some errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Simple sentence structures with frequent errors.
Band 7.0
Sample Answer
The phenomenon of online shopping has grown rapidly in recent years, with proponents highlighting its convenience and detractors pointing to its potential drawbacks. On the one hand, online shopping offers unparalleled convenience, allowing consumers to purchase goods from the comfort of their homes. Additionally, it provides access to a vast array of products that may not be available locally. On the other hand, critics argue that online shopping can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and reduce face-to-face interactions. Moreover, the lack of physical inspection can result in receiving items that do not meet expectations. In my view, while online shopping has its benefits, it is essential to balance it with traditional shopping methods to mitigate its negative effects.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Adequate range of vocabulary with some sophistication.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Mix of simple and complex sentence structures with some errors.
Band 8.0
Sample Answer
The proliferation of online shopping has transformed the retail landscape, sparking a debate about its advantages and disadvantages. Proponents of online shopping emphasize its convenience, citing the ability to shop 24/7 and the ease of comparing prices and products. Furthermore, it offers access to a global market, enabling consumers to purchase items that may not be available locally. However, detractors argue that the rise of online shopping has led to a decline in physical stores, negatively impacting local economies. Additionally, the environmental impact of increased packaging and delivery services cannot be overlooked. In my opinion, while online shopping offers numerous benefits, it is crucial to address its drawbacks to ensure a balanced and sustainable retail environment.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with thorough development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Wide range of vocabulary with sophistication and precision.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Varied sentence structures with few errors.
Band 9.0
Sample Answer
The meteoric rise of online shopping has revolutionized the way consumers access goods and services, engendering a contentious debate about its societal implications. Proponents of this digital retail phenomenon extol its unparalleled convenience, highlighting the ability to peruse an exhaustive array of products from the comfort of one's home. Moreover, the global reach of online marketplaces facilitates access to items that may be unavailable locally, fostering a more interconnected and diverse consumer experience. Conversely, critics posit that the ascendance of online shopping has precipitated the decline of brick-and-mortar stores, leading to job losses and economic stagnation in local communities. Furthermore, the environmental repercussions of increased packaging and delivery services are a cause for concern, as they contribute to carbon emissions and waste generation. In my view, while the benefits of online shopping are manifest, it is incumbent upon policymakers and consumers alike to mitigate its adverse effects through sustainable practices and support for local businesses.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear, nuanced position with thorough development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Wide range of vocabulary with sophistication, precision, and natural collocations.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Varied sentence structures with rare errors and advanced grammatical features.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Proliferation: Rapid increase in the number or spread of something.
- Example: The proliferation of online shopping platforms has changed consumer behavior.
- Transformed: Changed significantly in form, appearance, or character.
- Example: The internet has transformed the way we communicate.
- Unparalleled: Having no equal; incomparable.
- Example: The convenience of online shopping is unparalleled.
- Citing: Referring to (a passage, book, or author) as evidence for or support of an argument or statement.
- Example: Proponents cite the ease of comparing prices as a major benefit.
- Precipitated: Cause (an event or situation, typically a negative one) to happen suddenly, unexpectedly, or prematurely.
- Example: The rise of online shopping has precipitated the decline of physical stores.
- Manifest: Clear or obvious to the eye or mind.
- Example: The benefits of online shopping are manifest.
- Incumbent: (of a person holding a particular office or role) currently occupying it.
- Example: It is incumbent upon us to address these issues.
- Mitigate: Make (something bad) less severe, serious, or painful.
- Example: We need to mitigate the negative effects of online shopping.
- Extol: Praise enthusiastically.
- Example: Proponents extol the convenience of online shopping.
- Engender: Cause or give rise to (a feeling, situation, or condition).
- Example: The rise of online shopping has engendered a contentious debate.
- Peruse: Read (something) thoroughly and carefully.
- Example: Consumers can peruse an exhaustive array of products online.
- Exhaustive: Including or dealing with all possible items in a given category or area.
- Example: The online marketplace offers an exhaustive array of products.
- Fostering: Encourage the development of something, especially something desirable.
- Example: Online shopping fosters a more interconnected consumer experience.
- Posit: Put forward (an idea or theory) as a basis for discussion; suggest.
- Example: Critics posit that online shopping has negative effects.
- Precipitated: Cause (an event or situation, typically a negative one) to happen suddenly, unexpectedly, or prematurely.
- Example: The rise of online shopping has precipitated the decline of physical stores.
- Repercussions: An unintended consequence of an event or action, especially an unwelcome one.
- Example: The environmental repercussions of online shopping are concerning.
- Manifest: Clear or obvious to the eye or mind.
- Example: The benefits of online shopping are manifest.
- Incumbent: (of a person holding a particular office or role) currently occupying it.
- Example: It is incumbent upon us to address these issues.
- Mitigate: Make (something bad) less severe, serious, or painful.
- Example: We need to mitigate the negative effects of online shopping.
- Extol: Praise enthusiastically.
- Example: Proponents extol the convenience of online shopping.
- Engender: Cause or give rise to (a feeling, situation, or condition).
- Example: The rise of online shopping has engendered a contentious debate.
- Peruse: Read (something) thoroughly and carefully.
- Example: Consumers can peruse an exhaustive array of products online.
- Exhaustive: Including or dealing with all possible items in a given category or area.
- Example: The online marketplace offers an exhaustive array of products.
- Fostering: Encourage the development of something, especially something desirable.
- Example: Online shopping fosters a more interconnected consumer experience.
- Posit: Put forward (an idea or theory) as a basis for discussion; suggest.
- Example: Critics posit that online shopping has negative effects.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear opinion on the topic.
- Inadequate Development: Not providing sufficient supporting ideas or examples.
- Poor Organization: Ideas are not logically organized or connected.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a narrow range of vocabulary with frequent errors.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.
Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol
Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to improve your score.
