IELTS Writing Task 2: Ocean Pollution — Band 6.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
Some people believe that the increasing use of plastic is the main cause of ocean pollution. Others argue that there are other factors that contribute to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 6.5 Sample Answer
The Problem of Ocean Pollution and Its Causes
Ocean pollution has become a serious issue in recent years, with many people blaming the increasing use of plastic as the main cause. However, others argue that there are other factors that contribute to this problem. In my opinion, while plastic is a significant contributor, it is not the only one.
On the one hand, the use of plastic has indeed increased dramatically. This is due to the convenience and low cost of plastic products. Unfortunately, much of this plastic ends up in the ocean, where it can take hundreds of years to decompose. This plastic waste can harm marine life, as animals often mistake it for food. Additionally, plastic can break down into microplastics, which can enter the food chain and potentially harm humans. Therefore, it is clear that plastic is a major contributor to ocean pollution.
On the other hand, there are other factors that contribute to ocean pollution. For example, industrial waste is often dumped into the ocean, containing harmful chemicals that can pollute the water and harm marine life. Additionally, oil spills from ships and offshore drilling can cause significant damage to the ocean environment. Furthermore, agricultural runoff can contain pesticides and fertilizers that can pollute the water and harm marine life. Therefore, while plastic is a significant contributor to ocean pollution, it is not the only one.
In conclusion, while the increasing use of plastic is a major cause of ocean pollution, there are other factors that contribute to this problem. Therefore, it is important to address all of these factors in order to effectively combat ocean pollution.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): Band 6.5
- Presents a clear position throughout the response.
- Presents, extends, and supports main trends, ideas, or arguments but may not sustain focus.
- Provides relevant, sufficient, and clear main ideas but may not always be supported by data.
- Presents a position but may not extend position by comparing and contrasting different aspects.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 6.5
- Uses cohesive devices effectively but may make some errors in the use of cohesive devices.
- Arranges information and ideas coherently, though there may be some unclear relationships between ideas.
- Uses paragraphing, but paragraphs may not always be logically organized.
Lexical Resource (LR): Band 6.5
- Uses a mix of appropriate and varied vocabulary, though there may be some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Uses some less common vocabulary but may make some errors in usage.
- Uses some idiomatic language but may make some errors in usage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 6.5
- Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
- Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but does not impede communication.
- Uses a mix of correct and incorrect tense forms.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Decompose: to rot or decay (e.g., plastic waste can take hundreds of years to decompose).
- Microplastics: tiny pieces of plastic that can harm marine life and potentially enter the food chain.
- Industrial waste: waste produced by factories and other industrial processes.
- Agricultural runoff: water that flows over farmland, often containing pesticides and fertilizers.
- Harm: to cause damage or injury (e.g., plastic waste can harm marine life).
- Contribute: to give something in order to help achieve or provide something (e.g., industrial waste contributes to ocean pollution).
- Dramatically: in a sudden or extreme manner (e.g., the use of plastic has increased dramatically).
- Convenience: the state of being convenient or suitable (e.g., plastic products are convenient and low cost).
- Significant: important or noticeable (e.g., plastic is a significant contributor to ocean pollution).
- Potentially: possibly (e.g., microplastics can potentially harm humans).
- Address: to deal with or consider (e.g., it is important to address all factors that contribute to ocean pollution).
- Combat: to take action to reduce or stop something (e.g., to combat ocean pollution).
- Dramatically: in a sudden or extreme manner (e.g., the use of plastic has increased dramatically).
- Convenience: the state of being convenient or suitable (e.g., plastic products are convenient and low cost).
- Significant: important or noticeable (e.g., plastic is a significant contributor to ocean pollution).
- Potentially: possibly (e.g., microplastics can potentially harm humans).
- Address: to deal with or consider (e.g., it is important to address all factors that contribute to ocean pollution).
- Combat: to take action to reduce or stop something (e.g., to combat ocean pollution).
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Focusing too much on one side of the argument: Students often present one side of the argument more strongly than the other, which can result in a lower score for task response.
- Using vague language: Students may use vague language, such as "some people believe" or "it is thought that," which can make their argument less convincing.
- Making grammatical errors: Students may make grammatical errors, such as using the wrong tense or making subject-verb agreement errors, which can lower their score for grammatical range and accuracy.
- Not using a variety of vocabulary: Students may use the same vocabulary repeatedly, which can lower their score for lexical resource.
- Not using cohesive devices effectively: Students may not use cohesive devices effectively, which can make their argument less coherent and lower their score for coherence and cohesion.
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