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IELTS Writing Task 2:
Obesity (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

Master IELTS Writing Task 2 obesity questions with our Band 6-9 model answers. Learn key strategies for two-part questions and improve your score.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers | English AIdol Blog

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Master IELTS Writing Task 2 obesity questions with our Band 6-9 model answers. Learn key strategies for two-part questions and improve your score.

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IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity (Two Part Question) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Prompt:

Some people believe that the increasing problem of obesity is due to the lack of personal discipline, while others think that it is the responsibility of the government to address this issue. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Response: 5
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 6
  • Lexical Resource: 6
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Answer:

The problem of obesity is getting worse. Some people say it is because people do not have discipline. Others say the government should do something about it. I think both are important.

On one hand, people should take care of themselves. They eat too much junk food and do not exercise. This is not good for their health. If they had more discipline, they would eat better and exercise more. This would help them stay healthy.

On the other hand, the government can help. They can make rules about food. For example, they can stop selling unhealthy food in schools. They can also make places for people to exercise, like parks and gyms. This would help people stay healthy too.

In conclusion, both personal discipline and government action are important. People should take care of themselves, but the government can also help by making rules and providing places to exercise.

Band 7.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Response: 6
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 7
  • Lexical Resource: 7
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Answer:

The issue of obesity has become a significant concern in many countries. While some argue that it is a result of individual lack of self-control, others believe that governments should take responsibility for addressing this problem. Both perspectives have merit, and I will discuss them in detail.

Firstly, it is undeniable that personal discipline plays a crucial role in maintaining a healthy weight. Many people consume excessive amounts of fast food and sugary drinks, which contribute to weight gain. Additionally, sedentary lifestyles, characterized by long hours spent sitting at desks or watching television, exacerbate the problem. If individuals were more disciplined in their eating habits and physical activity, they could significantly reduce their risk of obesity.

However, it is also important to acknowledge the role of government intervention. Governments can implement policies that promote healthier lifestyles, such as regulating the advertising of unhealthy foods or providing subsidies for fresh produce. They can also invest in public health campaigns to educate citizens about the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise. Furthermore, creating more green spaces and recreational facilities can encourage physical activity.

In my opinion, both personal responsibility and government action are essential in tackling the obesity epidemic. While individuals must make conscious efforts to lead healthier lives, governments have a duty to create an environment that supports these efforts. By working together, we can make significant progress in reducing obesity rates.

Band 8.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Response: 7
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 8
  • Lexical Resource: 8
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Answer:

The escalating prevalence of obesity has sparked a contentious debate regarding the primary factors contributing to this global health crisis. While some attribute it to a dearth of personal discipline, others contend that governmental intervention is imperative. This essay will explore both viewpoints before presenting a nuanced perspective.

Proponents of the argument that obesity stems from a lack of personal discipline posit that individuals bear the primary responsibility for their health. The proliferation of fast food outlets and the convenience of processed foods have led many to adopt sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy eating habits. Furthermore, the ubiquity of digital entertainment has reduced physical activity levels, exacerbating the problem. Proponents of this view argue that individuals must exercise self-control and make conscious efforts to maintain a healthy weight.

Conversely, advocates for governmental intervention contend that systemic factors contribute significantly to the obesity epidemic. They argue that governments have a responsibility to implement policies that promote healthier lifestyles. This could include regulating the marketing of unhealthy foods, particularly to children, and providing subsidies for fresh produce. Additionally, governments could invest in public health campaigns to educate citizens about the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise. Furthermore, creating more green spaces and recreational facilities could encourage physical activity.

In my view, both personal responsibility and governmental intervention are crucial in addressing the obesity epidemic. While individuals must take proactive steps to lead healthier lives, governments have a duty to create an environment that supports these efforts. By working in tandem, we can make significant strides in reducing obesity rates and improving public health.

Band 9.0 Answer

Score Breakdown:

  • Task Response: 9
  • Coherence and Cohesion: 9
  • Lexical Resource: 9
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9

Answer:

The burgeoning global obesity crisis has engendered a polarized debate regarding the locus of responsibility for its alleviation. While some ascribe this phenomenon to a paucity of individual self-restraint, others advocate for governmental intervention as a panacea. This essay will critically evaluate both perspectives before proffering a synthesized view.

Adherents of the argument that obesity is predominantly a consequence of personal indiscipline contend that individuals must be held accountable for their health. The contemporary lifestyle, characterized by an overabundance of calorie-dense, nutrient-poor foods and a sedentary existence, has created an environment conducive to weight gain. Proponents of this view argue that individuals must exercise agency and adopt healthier habits, such as consuming a balanced diet and engaging in regular physical activity. Moreover, they posit that personal discipline is not only a matter of individual well-being but also a societal responsibility, as the escalating healthcare costs associated with obesity place a significant burden on public resources.

Conversely, proponents of governmental intervention argue that systemic factors contribute significantly to the obesity epidemic. They contend that governments have a moral and ethical obligation to implement policies that promote healthier lifestyles. This could include regulating the marketing of unhealthy foods, particularly to children, and providing subsidies for fresh produce. Additionally, governments could invest in comprehensive public health campaigns to educate citizens about the importance of a balanced diet and regular exercise. Furthermore, creating more green spaces and recreational facilities could encourage physical activity and foster a culture of health and well-being.

In my view, the most efficacious approach to addressing the obesity epidemic lies in a synergistic amalgamation of personal responsibility and governmental intervention. While individuals must take proactive steps to lead healthier lives, governments have a duty to create an environment that supports these efforts. By working in concert, we can make significant progress in reducing obesity rates and improving public health. Moreover, this approach acknowledges the complex interplay of individual agency and systemic factors, recognizing that the obesity crisis is not a monolithic issue but a multifaceted challenge that requires a nuanced and holistic response.

Vocabulary Highlights

  1. Escalating: Increasing rapidly
  • Example: The escalating cost of living is affecting many families.
  1. Prevalence: The fact of something being widespread or common
  • Example: The prevalence of obesity has increased significantly in recent years.
  1. Contentious: Causing or likely to cause disagreement or argument
  • Example: The issue of climate change is highly contentious.
  1. Dearth: A scarcity or lack of something
  • Example: There is a dearth of affordable housing in the city.
  1. Imperative: Of vital importance
  • Example: It is imperative that we address the issue of climate change.
  1. Proponents: People who support or advocate for a particular idea or cause
  • Example: Proponents of the new policy argue that it will benefit everyone.
  1. Ubiquity: The fact of being everywhere, especially at the same time; omnipresence
  • Example: The ubiquity of smartphones has changed the way we communicate.
  1. Exacerbate: To make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse
  • Example: The lack of exercise can exacerbate the problem of obesity.
  1. Subsidies: A sum of money granted by the government or a public body to support or encourage an industry or sector
  • Example: The government provides subsidies to farmers to help them compete with cheaper imports.
  1. Panacea: A solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases
  • Example: Some people believe that technology is a panacea for all of society's problems.
  1. Proliferation: Rapid increase in the number or amount of something
  • Example: The proliferation of fast food outlets has contributed to the obesity epidemic.
  1. Sedentary: Involving little exercise or physical activity
  • Example: A sedentary lifestyle can lead to a range of health problems.
  1. Ubiquity: The fact of being everywhere, especially at the same time; omnipresence
  • Example: The ubiquity of digital entertainment has reduced physical activity levels.
  1. Proactive: Taking decisive action to improve a situation
  • Example: Being proactive about your health can help prevent obesity.
  1. Synergistic: The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects
  • Example: A synergistic approach to tackling obesity involves both personal responsibility and governmental intervention.
  1. Amalgamation: The process of combining or uniting a number of things into one whole
  • Example: The amalgamation of personal responsibility and governmental intervention is the most effective way to address the obesity epidemic.
  1. Multifaceted: Having many different aspects or features
  • Example: The obesity crisis is a multifaceted challenge that requires a nuanced and holistic response.
  1. Holistic: Characterized by the belief that the parts of something are interconnected and can only be understood in relation to the whole
  • Example: A holistic approach to tackling obesity considers the complex interplay of individual agency and systemic factors.
  1. Nuanced: Characterized by subtle differences in meaning, expression, or distinction
  • Example: A nuanced understanding of the obesity crisis is necessary to develop effective solutions.
  1. Agency: The capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own choices
  • Example: Personal agency is an important factor in addressing the obesity epidemic.

Common Mistakes

  1. Failing to address both parts of the question: Some candidates focus solely on one aspect of the question, neglecting to discuss the other view. This can result in a lower score for Task Response.
  2. Lack of specific examples and data: Candidates often make general statements without providing concrete examples or data to support their arguments. This can weaken the overall quality of the response.
  3. Poor organization and coherence: Some responses are poorly organized, making it difficult for the examiner to follow the candidate's arguments. This can result in a lower score for Coherence and Cohesion.
  4. Limited vocabulary and grammatical range: Candidates often use a limited range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, which can result in a lower score for Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
  5. Spelling and punctuation errors: Candidates often make careless mistakes in spelling and punctuation, which can detract from the overall quality of the response.

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