IELTS Writing Task 2: Obesity Advantages Disadvantages - Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Some governments advocate for legislation to combat obesity. Others argue obesity should not be a government concern. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

| Criteria | Band Score | Explanation | |----------|------------|-------------| | TR | 5.0 | Presents both views but with uneven development (6 sentences on disadvantages, 3 on advantages)| | CC | 6.0 | Logical but predictable sequence with some cohesive devices used appropriately | | LR | 6.0 | Presents ideas but lacks depth and complexity in development | | GRA | 6.0 | Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation |

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Advocate (v) - publicly support or recommend

• The government advocates for stricter regulations on junk food advertising.

1. Combat (v) - take action to reduce or prevent something bad

• New policies aim to combat rising obesity rates through education.

1. Consequence (n) - a result or effect

• The main consequence of inactivity is increased risk of chronic diseases.

Common Mistakes in this Band 6 Answer

1. Uneven development of both views
2. Predictable sequencing
3. Frequent grammar errors
4. Basic vocabulary choices
5. Lack of specific examples

Band 7 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

| Criteria | Band Score | Explanation | |----------|------------|-------------| | TR | 7.0 | Presents both views and gives a personal opinion but with some imbalance in development| | CC | 7.0 | Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively but with some mechanical repetition | | LR | 7.0 | Presents ideas with some extension and supports them with some examples | | GRA | 7.0 | Makes occasional errors in grammar and punctuation but maintains overall clarity |

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Legislation (n) - laws or rules made by a government

• New legislation aims to reduce sugar consumption in schools.

1. Proponent (n) - someone who supports a particular idea or plan

• Proponents argue government intervention is necessary to protect public health.

1. Repercussion (n) - an unintended consequence of an event

• The potential repercussions of such policies include increased healthcare costs.

Common Mistakes in this Band 7 Answer

1. Some imbalance in developing both views
2. Mechanical repetition of cohesive devices
3. Occasional grammar errors
4. Some vague vocabulary
5. Limited range of sentence structures

Band 8 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

| Criteria | Band Score | Explanation | |----------|------------|-------------| | TR | 8.0 | Presents both views and gives a personal opinion with balanced development| | CC | 8.0 | Uses cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through the response | | LR | 8.0 | Presents ideas with clear development and supports them with relevant examples | | GRA | 8.0 | Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with good control of grammar and punctuation |

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Intervention (n) - the act of intervening in a situation

• Government intervention in public health matters has both benefits and drawbacks.

1. Perpetuate (v) - to cause something to continue, especially something bad

• Critics argue that government focus on obesity may perpetuate stigma.

1. Multifaceted (adj) - having many different aspects

• The obesity problem is multifaceted, requiring solutions from various sectors.

Common Mistakes in this Band 8 Answer

1. Slight repetition in vocabulary
2. Occasional awkward phrasing
3. Some sentences could be more varied
4. Minor logical gaps in some arguments
5. Moderate range of cohesive devices

Band 9 Answer

Scoring Breakdown

| Criteria | Band Score | Explanation | |----------|------------|-------------| | TR | 9.0 | Presents a clear position throughout and extends and supports ideas with relevant examples| | CC | 9.0 | Uses cohesive devices effectively and flexibly with a wide range of reference | LR | 9.0 | Presents a clear central topic with full development and clear progression | GRA | 9.0 | Uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of grammar and punctuation |

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Epigenetic (adj) - relating to the genetic changes that occur as a result of environmental factors

• The epigenetic impact of obesity can affect future generations.

1. Holistic (adj) - characterized by the belief that the whole is more than the sum of its parts

• A holistic approach to obesity prevention considers both individual and societal factors.

1. Paradigm (n) - a typical example or pattern of something

• The obesity debate has shifted from individual responsibility to a societal paradigm.

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Band 9 Answers

1. Overcomplicating sentences to the point of obscurity
2. Using obscure vocabulary that may confuse the reader
3. Failing to maintain a consistent position throughout
4. Including irrelevant information or examples
5. Neglecting to proofread for minor errors

Key Vocabulary for Obesity Discussions

1. BMI (n) - Body Mass Index, a measure of body fat based on height and weight

• The CDC recommends maintaining a healthy BMI through diet and exercise.

1. Metabolic (adj) - relating to the chemical processes that occur within a living organism

• Obesity is linked to various metabolic disorders such as type 2 diabetes.

1. Sedentary (adj) - involving little exercise or physical activity

• A sedentary lifestyle is one of the main contributors to the obesity epidemic.

1. Nutrient-dense (adj) - containing a high amount of nutrients relative to its calorie content

• Health experts recommend consuming nutrient-dense foods like fruits and vegetables.

1. Endocrine (adj) - relating to the glands that produce hormones

• Obesity can disrupt the endocrine system, leading to hormonal imbalances.

1. Epidemiology (n) - the study of the distribution and causes of disease in populations

• Public health officials use epidemiology to track obesity trends and identify risk factors.

1. Caloric (adj) - relating to calories or the energy value of food

• A caloric deficit is necessary for weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight.

1. Gastrointestinal (adj) - relating to the stomach and intestines

• Some weight loss surgeries alter the gastrointestinal system to reduce calorie absorption.

1. Psychosomatic (adj) - relating to physical symptoms caused by mental or emotional stress

• Some obesity cases have psychosomatic components, where emotional stress leads to overeating.

1. Bariatric (adj) - relating to the treatment of obesity

• Bariatric surgery is a last resort for individuals with severe obesity.

1. Homeostasis (n) - the tendency of the body to seek and maintain a condition of balance

• Obesity can disrupt the body's homeostasis, leading to various health problems.

1. Adipose (adj) - relating to fat or fatty tissue

• Excessive adipose tissue is associated with an increased risk of chronic diseases.

1. Glycemic (adj) - relating to the amount of sugars in the blood

• Foods with a high glycemic index can contribute to weight gain and obesity.

1. Cardiovascular (adj) - relating to the heart and blood vessels

• Obesity increases the risk of cardiovascular diseases such as heart attacks and strokes.

1. Orthopedic (adj) - relating to the correction of deformities of the bones and joints

• Excess weight can put additional strain on the musculoskeletal system, leading to orthopedic issues.

5 Common Mistakes Students Make on This Prompt

1. Focusing only on one side of the argument - Many students fail to present both views equally, which can lead to a lower task response score.
2. Using vague language - Avoid general statements like "some people think" without providing specific examples or evidence.
3. Lack of clear position - It's essential to state your opinion clearly and maintain it throughout the essay.
4. Poor time management - Spend about 40 minutes planning and writing your essay to allow time for proofreading.
5. Ignoring the task requirements - Make sure to address both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion as instructed in the prompt.

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