IELTS Writing Task 2: Money And Happiness (Discussion) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for happiness. Others argue that money is not necessary for a happy life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Band 6.0 Answer

Money is important for happiness because it can buy things that make people happy. For example, people can buy houses, cars, and travel to different countries. These things make life more comfortable and enjoyable. However, money is not the only thing that makes people happy. Family, friends, and good health are also important. Some people have a lot of money but they are not happy because they do not have good relationships with their family and friends. In my opinion, money is important but it is not the only thing that makes people happy.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position but with limited development (Band 6)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition (Band 6)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors (Band 6)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent errors (Band 6)

Band 7.0 Answer

The relationship between money and happiness is a complex issue. On one hand, money can provide security and comfort, which are essential for happiness. Financial stability allows people to meet their basic needs and enjoy leisure activities. For instance, having enough money can reduce stress and anxiety, leading to a better quality of life. On the other hand, money is not a guarantee of happiness. Many wealthy individuals suffer from loneliness and depression, indicating that emotional well-being is also crucial. Personal relationships, health, and a sense of purpose are equally important factors. In my view, while money contributes to happiness, it is not the sole determinant.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some complexity and development (Band 7)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression (Band 7)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately but with some less precise word choices (Band 7)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors (Band 7)

Band 8.0 Answer

The notion that money is the primary source of happiness is widely debated. Proponents argue that financial wealth facilitates access to material comforts and opportunities, which can enhance well-being. For example, money can provide better education, healthcare, and recreational activities, all of which contribute to a higher quality of life. However, critics contend that money alone cannot buy happiness. Emotional fulfillment, strong social connections, and personal achievements are equally, if not more, important. Numerous studies have shown that beyond a certain point, additional income does not significantly increase happiness. In my opinion, while money is a significant factor, it is not the sole determinant of happiness. A balanced approach that values both material and non-material aspects of life is essential for true contentment.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and some sophistication (Band 8)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and some sophistication (Band 8)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately with some sophistication (Band 8)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors (Band 8)

Band 9.0 Answer

The interplay between money and happiness is a multifaceted issue that has been extensively studied. Proponents of the materialistic view argue that financial prosperity provides the means to acquire goods and services that enhance comfort and convenience, thereby contributing to happiness. For instance, money can facilitate access to quality education, healthcare, and leisure activities, all of which are integral to a fulfilling life. Conversely, proponents of the non-materialistic view contend that money is not a panacea for happiness. Emotional well-being, social connections, and personal fulfillment are equally, if not more, important. Research has shown that beyond a certain threshold, additional income does not correlate with increased happiness. In my view, while money is a significant factor, it is not the sole determinant of happiness. A holistic approach that values both material and non-material aspects of life is essential for achieving true contentment.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and sophistication (Band 9)
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophistication (Band 9)
• Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately with sophistication (Band 9)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal errors (Band 9)

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Proponents (n): People who support a particular idea or cause.

• Example: Proponents of the materialistic view argue that financial prosperity provides the means to acquire goods and services.

1. Facilitate (v): To make something easier or more possible.

• Example: Money can facilitate access to quality education and healthcare.

1. Panacea (n): A solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases.

• Example: Money is not a panacea for happiness.

1. Correlate (v): To have a mutual relationship or connection.

• Example: Research has shown that beyond a certain threshold, additional income does not correlate with increased happiness.

1. Holistic (adj): Considering the whole of something rather than its parts.

• Example: A holistic approach that values both material and non-material aspects of life is essential for achieving true contentment.

1. Prosperity (n): A successful, flourishing, or thriving condition.

• Example: Financial prosperity provides the means to acquire goods and services.

1. Integral (adj): Necessary for completeness.

• Example: Quality education and healthcare are integral to a fulfilling life.

1. Fulfillment (n): The achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.

• Example: Emotional well-being and personal fulfillment are important for happiness.

1. Threshold (n): The level or point at which something begins to happen or to be true.

• Example: Beyond a certain threshold, additional income does not correlate with increased happiness.

1. Contentment (n): A state of happiness or satisfaction.

• Example: A holistic approach is essential for achieving true contentment.

1. Materialistic (adj): Concerned with material possessions rather than spiritual or intellectual things.

• Example: Proponents of the materialistic view argue that financial prosperity provides the means to acquire goods and services.

1. Non-materialistic (adj): Not concerned with material possessions.

• Example: Proponents of the non-materialistic view contend that money is not a panacea for happiness.

1. Emotional well-being (n): A state of emotional health and happiness.

• Example: Emotional well-being is equally, if not more, important than money.

1. Social connections (n): Relationships and interactions with other people.

• Example: Strong social connections are important for happiness.

1. Personal achievements (n): Things that a person has accomplished or achieved.

• Example: Personal achievements are equally, if not more, important than money.

1. Quality of life (n): The standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group.

• Example: Money can enhance the quality of life.

1. Recessional activities (n): Activities done for enjoyment rather than work.

• Example: Money can facilitate access to recreational activities.

1. Comfort (n): A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.

• Example: Financial prosperity provides the means to acquire goods and services that enhance comfort.

1. Convenience (n): The state of being able to proceed with something without difficulty.

• Example: Money can enhance convenience.

1. Multifaceted (adj): Having many different aspects or features.

• Example: The interplay between money and happiness is a multifaceted issue.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Overgeneralizing: Students often make sweeping statements about money and happiness without providing specific examples or evidence.

1. Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both sides of the argument equally, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

1. Inappropriate Vocabulary: Using informal or colloquial language instead of formal academic vocabulary.

1. Poor Organization: Not structuring the essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

1. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that detract from the overall quality of the essay.

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