IELTS Writing Task 2: Money And Happiness — Band 8.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that money can bring happiness, while others argue that it cannot. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (4.0): Presents a position but with limited development. Some ideas are relevant but underdeveloped.
- Coherence and Cohesion (5.0): Ideas are logically organized but with some repetition and lack of clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (5.0): Uses some appropriate vocabulary but with frequent errors and limited range.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (5.0): Attempts complex structures but with frequent errors and awkward phrasing.
Answer
Money can make people happy because they can buy things they want. For example, a new car or a big house. But money cannot buy everything. It cannot buy love or good health. Some people have a lot of money but they are not happy because they have problems in their life.
I think money is important but it is not the only thing that makes people happy. It is better to have some money and a good family and friends than to have a lot of money but no one to share it with.
Band 7.0 Answer
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (5.0): Presents a clear position with some development. Addresses both views but with limited depth.
- Coherence and Cohesion (6.0): Ideas are logically organized with some cohesive devices but occasional repetition.
- Lexical Resource (6.0): Uses a mix of appropriate vocabulary with some errors and occasional sophisticated words.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (6.0): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with some errors.
Answer
The relationship between money and happiness is a contentious issue. On one hand, money can bring happiness by providing comfort and security. For instance, having enough money can reduce stress and allow people to enjoy life more. On the other hand, money cannot buy intangible things like love, friendship, and good health, which are essential for true happiness.
In my opinion, money is a tool that can contribute to happiness but it is not the only factor. It is important to have a balance between material wealth and emotional well-being. People should focus on building strong relationships and pursuing their passions, as these are equally important for a fulfilling life.
Band 8.0 Answer
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (7.0): Presents a clear position with well-extended ideas. Addresses both views and provides relevant examples.
- Coherence and Cohesion (7.0): Ideas are logically organized with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (7.0): Uses a range of appropriate vocabulary with some sophisticated words and occasional errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (7.0): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with some errors but generally accurate.
Answer
The notion that money can bring happiness is a topic of much debate. Proponents argue that financial stability can alleviate stress and provide opportunities for enjoyment. For example, having sufficient funds can enable people to travel, pursue hobbies, and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. Conversely, critics contend that money cannot buy intangible aspects of happiness such as love, friendship, and personal fulfillment.
In my view, while money can contribute to happiness, it is not the sole determinant. It is crucial to strike a balance between material wealth and emotional well-being. Building strong relationships, pursuing personal passions, and maintaining good health are equally important for a fulfilling life. Therefore, while money can enhance happiness, it should not be seen as the ultimate goal.
Band 9.0 Answer
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (8.0): Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported ideas. Addresses both views with relevant examples and a clear opinion.
- Coherence and Cohesion (8.0): Ideas are logically organized with a clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (8.0): Uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary with sophisticated words and minimal errors.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8.0): Uses a mix of simple and complex structures with minimal errors and generally accurate.
Answer
The relationship between money and happiness is a complex and multifaceted issue. On one hand, financial prosperity can significantly enhance one's quality of life. For instance, having adequate financial resources can provide access to better healthcare, education, and leisure activities, all of which contribute to overall well-being. Moreover, financial stability can reduce stress and anxiety, allowing individuals to focus on personal growth and relationships.
However, it is equally important to recognize that money cannot buy everything. Intangible aspects of happiness, such as love, friendship, and personal fulfillment, are not necessarily correlated with financial wealth. In fact, an excessive focus on material wealth can sometimes lead to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
In conclusion, while money can undoubtedly contribute to happiness, it is not the sole determinant. A balanced approach that values both material and emotional well-being is essential for a truly fulfilling life. Therefore, it is crucial to pursue financial stability while also nurturing meaningful relationships and personal passions.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.): Controversial or disputed.
- Example: The relationship between money and happiness is a contentious issue.
- Intangible (adj.): Not capable of being perceived by the senses; abstract.
- Example: Money cannot buy intangible aspects of happiness such as love and friendship.
- Alleviate (v.): Make (suffering, deficiency, or a problem) less severe.
- Example: Financial stability can alleviate stress and anxiety.
- Prosperity (n.): The state of being successful and wealthy.
- Example: Financial prosperity can significantly enhance one's quality of life.
- Excessive (adj.): More than is necessary, normal, or desirable.
- Example: An excessive focus on material wealth can lead to a sense of emptiness.
- Nurture (v.): Care for and encourage the growth or development of.
- Example: It is crucial to nurture meaningful relationships and personal passions.
- Determinant (n.): A factor that decisively influences the nature or outcome of something.
- Example: Money is not the sole determinant of happiness.
- Balanced (adj.): Having a sense of balance or equilibrium.
- Example: A balanced approach that values both material and emotional well-being is essential.
- Fulfilling (adj.): Making one feel happy or satisfied.
- Example: Building strong relationships and pursuing personal passions are essential for a fulfilling life.
- Enhance (v.): Increase or improve in value, quality, or extent.
- Example: Financial stability can enhance one's quality of life.
- Stability (n.): The state of being stable and steady.
- Example: Financial stability can reduce stress and anxiety.
- Pursue (v.): Follow or chase someone or something.
- Example: It is important to pursue personal passions and interests.
- Significantly (adv.): In a significant or noticeable way.
- Example: Financial prosperity can significantly enhance one's quality of life.
- Correlated (adj.): Having a mutual relationship or connection.
- Example: Intangible aspects of happiness are not necessarily correlated with financial wealth.
- Multifaceted (adj.): Having many different aspects or features.
- Example: The relationship between money and happiness is a multifaceted issue.
- Emotional (adj.): Relating to or characterized by strong feelings.
- Example: It is important to value both material and emotional well-being.
- Opportunities (n.): A set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.
- Example: Financial stability can provide opportunities for enjoyment.
- Stress (n.): A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
- Example: Financial stability can reduce stress and anxiety.
- Personal (adj.): Relating to or affecting a particular person rather than anyone else.
- Example: It is important to pursue personal passions and interests.
- Ultimate (adj.): Being or happening at the end of a process; final.
- Example: Money should not be seen as the ultimate goal.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support their claims.
- Lack of Balance: Failing to address both sides of the argument equally, which can result in a lower score for Task Response.
- Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or phrases without adding new information or developing the argument further.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage.
- Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using inappropriate or overly complex vocabulary that detracts from the clarity and coherence of the response.
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