IELTS Writing Task 2: Money And Happiness — Band 7.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that money is the key to happiness, while others argue that true happiness comes from other sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Money is the most important factor for happiness. People who have a lot of money can buy whatever they want and live a comfortable life. They can afford to travel, eat good food, and live in nice houses. This makes them happy. On the other hand, people who do not have money often struggle and are not happy. They cannot afford basic needs and this causes stress and unhappiness. Therefore, money is essential for happiness.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position but lacks development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are presented in a logical order but with limited use of cohesive devices.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a limited range of vocabulary with some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses simple sentence structures with frequent grammatical errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
The relationship between money and happiness is a complex one. While money can certainly contribute to happiness, it is not the only factor. On one hand, money provides security and comfort. Financial stability allows people to meet their basic needs and enjoy life's luxuries. For instance, having enough money to travel or pursue hobbies can bring joy. However, money alone cannot guarantee happiness. Other factors such as relationships, health, and personal fulfillment play significant roles. A person with a lot of money but no friends or purpose in life may still feel unhappy. In my opinion, while money is important, it is not the sole key to happiness.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with some development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with a mix of simple and complex sentences.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with occasional errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
The debate over whether money is the key to happiness has been ongoing for centuries. While it is true that money can provide comfort and security, it is not the only factor that contributes to happiness. On the one hand, money can alleviate stress and provide access to better healthcare, education, and living conditions. Financial stability can also offer opportunities for travel, leisure, and personal growth. For example, a person with financial means can afford to take a vacation, which can reduce stress and improve mental well-being. On the other hand, money cannot buy love, friendship, or personal fulfillment. A wealthy individual may still feel lonely or unfulfilled if they lack meaningful relationships or a sense of purpose. In my view, while money is important, it is not the sole determinant of happiness. Other factors such as health, relationships, and personal achievements are equally, if not more, important.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with thorough development and supporting ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Ideas are logically organized with a mix of simple and complex sentences.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary with occasional errors in word choice and collocation.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with occasional errors.
Key Vocabulary
- Financial stability (noun) - The state of having a steady income and being able to meet financial obligations.
- Example: Financial stability allows people to plan for the future.
- Personal fulfillment (noun) - A state of happiness and satisfaction derived from achieving one's goals and aspirations.
- Example: Personal fulfillment is essential for overall well-being.
- Allevate stress (verb) - To reduce or eliminate stress.
- Example: Regular exercise can alleviate stress and improve mood.
- Meaningful relationships (noun) - Relationships that are significant and have a positive impact on one's life.
- Example: Meaningful relationships can provide emotional support and happiness.
- Sense of purpose (noun) - A feeling of having a clear goal or direction in life.
- Example: Having a sense of purpose can improve mental health and well-being.
- Luxuries (noun) - Items or experiences that are not necessary but are desirable and can enhance one's quality of life.
- Example: Luxuries like travel and fine dining can bring joy and happiness.
- Basic needs (noun) - The essential requirements for survival and well-being, such as food, water, and shelter.
- Example: Meeting basic needs is crucial for a happy and healthy life.
- Comfort (noun) - A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or stress.
- Example: A comfortable home can contribute to overall happiness.
- Opportunities (noun) - Chances or possibilities to do or achieve something.
- Example: Financial stability can provide opportunities for personal growth.
- Healthcare (noun) - The prevention, treatment, and management of illness and the preservation of mental and physical well-being.
- Example: Access to quality healthcare is essential for a happy life.
- Education (noun) - The process of receiving or giving systematic instruction, especially at a school or university.
- Example: Education can open doors to better job opportunities and a higher quality of life.
- Living conditions (noun) - The circumstances in which people live, including their housing, neighborhood, and environment.
- Example: Good living conditions can contribute to overall happiness and well-being.
- Leisure (noun) - Time spent away from work or duties, which can be used for rest, enjoyment, or personal interests.
- Example: Leisure activities can help reduce stress and improve mental health.
- Personal growth (noun) - The process of developing and improving oneself, including one's skills, knowledge, and character.
- Example: Personal growth can lead to a more fulfilling and happy life.
- Lonely (adjective) - Feeling sad or unhappy because one is alone or lacks companionship.
- Example: A wealthy person may still feel lonely if they lack meaningful relationships.
- Unfulfilled (adjective) - Not having achieved one's goals or aspirations, leading to a sense of dissatisfaction.
- Example: A person with a lot of money but no sense of purpose may feel unfulfilled.
- Determinant (noun) - A factor that decisively affects the outcome or result of something.
- Example: Money is not the sole determinant of happiness.
- Achievements (noun) - Things that have been accomplished, especially by effort, skill, or courage.
- Example: Personal achievements can contribute to overall happiness and satisfaction.
- Mental well-being (noun) - A state of good mental health, characterized by the absence of mental illness and the presence of positive emotions and thoughts.
- Example: Mental well-being is essential for a happy and fulfilling life.
- Quality of life (noun) - The standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group.
- Example: A comfortable home and meaningful relationships can improve one's quality of life.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Students often make broad statements without providing specific examples or evidence to support their claims.
- Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both sides of the argument equally can result in a one-sided response that does not fully address the prompt.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using vague or inappropriate words can weaken the argument and make the response less convincing.
- Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can distract the reader and make the response difficult to understand.
- Lack of Cohesion: Poor organization and transitions between ideas can make the response disjointed and confusing.
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