IELTS Writing Task 2: Money And Happiness — Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that money is the most important factor for happiness. Others believe that happiness comes from other sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Money is very important for happiness, but it is not the only thing that makes people happy. Some people think that having a lot of money can solve all problems and make life easier. They believe that money can buy things like houses, cars, and good food, which can make people happy. However, other people think that happiness comes from different things, such as family, friends, and health. They believe that money cannot buy love or good health, which are very important for happiness.
In my opinion, money is important, but it is not the most important thing for happiness. Having money can make life easier, but it cannot make people happy if they do not have good relationships with family and friends. Also, money cannot buy good health, which is very important for happiness. Therefore, people should not focus only on making money, but also on having good relationships and staying healthy.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Addresses the task but with some limitations in development.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Presents a clear position but with some repetition and basic linking.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a mix of appropriate and limited vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses simple sentence structures with some errors.
Band 7.0 Answer
The relationship between money and happiness is a complex issue. On one hand, money can provide comfort and security, which are essential for happiness. For example, having enough money can reduce stress about paying bills and provide access to better healthcare and education. On the other hand, money alone cannot guarantee happiness. Many people with a lot of money still feel unhappy because they lack meaningful relationships or a sense of purpose.
In my view, while money is important for meeting basic needs and reducing stress, it is not the most important factor for happiness. True happiness comes from having strong relationships with family and friends, pursuing meaningful goals, and maintaining good health. Therefore, people should focus on balancing their financial needs with their emotional and social well-being.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively but with some repetition.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors.
Band 8.0 Answer
The debate over whether money is the primary source of happiness has been ongoing for decades. Proponents of the money-equals-happiness argument contend that financial stability alleviates stress and provides access to resources that enhance quality of life. For instance, affluent individuals can afford better healthcare, education, and leisure activities, which contribute to overall well-being. Conversely, critics argue that money cannot buy intangible aspects of happiness, such as love, friendship, and a sense of fulfillment. Numerous studies have shown that beyond a certain income threshold, additional wealth does not significantly increase happiness.
In my opinion, while money is undeniably important for meeting basic needs and reducing stress, it is not the sole determinant of happiness. True happiness stems from a combination of financial security, strong social connections, and personal fulfillment. Therefore, individuals should strive to achieve a balance between financial stability and emotional well-being, recognizing that money is a tool rather than the ultimate goal.
Scoring Breakdown
- Task Response (TR): Presents a clear position with fully extended and supported ideas.
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Uses a range of cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression.
- Lexical Resource (LR): Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items and some sophisticated vocabulary.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with frequent error-free sentences.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Comfort (noun): A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint. Example: Financial comfort can reduce stress.
- Security (noun): The state of being free from danger or threat. Example: Financial security provides peace of mind.
- Allevate (verb): To make something less severe or more bearable. Example: Money can alleviate financial stress.
- Intangible (adjective): Incapable of being perceived by the senses; not having physical presence. Example: Love is an intangible aspect of happiness.
- Affluent (adjective): Having an abundant supply of money or possessions of value. Example: Affluent individuals can afford better healthcare.
- Threshold (noun): The level or point at which something begins to happen or be experienced. Example: Beyond a certain income threshold, additional wealth does not increase happiness.
- Proponent (noun): A person who advocates for a particular cause or belief. Example: Proponents of the money-equals-happiness argument.
- Critic (noun): A person who expresses a reasoned opinion on any matter, especially involving a judgment of its value, truth, righteousness, beauty, or technique. Example: Critics argue that money cannot buy happiness.
- Stem (verb): To have as an origin or cause; derive from. Example: Happiness stems from strong social connections.
- Fulfillment (noun): The achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted. Example: Personal fulfillment is important for happiness.
- Strive (verb): To make great efforts to obtain or achieve something. Example: Individuals should strive to achieve a balance between financial stability and emotional well-being.
- Recognition (noun): The action of recognizing something or someone. Example: Recognizing that money is a tool rather than the ultimate goal.
- Basic needs (noun phrase): The fundamental requirements for survival, such as food, water, and shelter. Example: Money is important for meeting basic needs.
- Emotional well-being (noun phrase): A state of mental and emotional health. Example: Emotional well-being is important for happiness.
- Financial stability (noun phrase): A state of having steady and reliable financial resources. Example: Financial stability provides peace of mind.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralizing: Making broad statements without sufficient evidence or examples.
- Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or vocabulary without varying expression.
- Lack of Coherence: Failing to connect ideas logically, making the response difficult to follow.
- Inadequate Vocabulary: Using limited vocabulary that does not fully express the intended meaning.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.
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