IELTS Writing Task 2: Money And Happiness (Advantages Disadvantages) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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The Prompt
Paraphrased Prompt:
Some people believe that money is the key to happiness, while others argue that it brings more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
Money is important for happiness because it can buy things that make people happy. For example, people can buy houses, cars, and go on vacations. These things can make people feel good. However, money can also cause problems. People who have a lot of money might have more stress because they need to manage it. Also, some people become greedy and only care about money, which can hurt relationships.
In my opinion, money is important but it is not the only thing that makes people happy. Having good friends and family is also very important. Money can help, but it is not everything.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but with some problems in organization
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and inappropriate vocabulary
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation
Band 7.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The relationship between money and happiness is complex. On one hand, money can provide comfort and security. With enough money, people can afford better healthcare, education, and living conditions. These factors contribute to overall well-being. On the other hand, the pursuit of money can lead to stress and anxiety. People may work long hours, neglecting their health and relationships. Additionally, the desire for more money can lead to unethical behavior and dissatisfaction.
In my view, money is a tool that can enhance happiness if used wisely. However, it should not be the sole focus of one's life. Balancing financial goals with personal relationships and self-care is crucial for true happiness.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development and relevant supporting ideas
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some minor issues in organization
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary appropriately with some minor errors
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but generally communicates clearly
Band 8.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The notion that money is synonymous with happiness is a contentious one. Proponents argue that financial stability alleviates stress and provides access to experiences and commodities that enhance quality of life. For instance, money can facilitate travel, which broadens horizons and creates lasting memories. Conversely, the relentless pursuit of wealth can engender stress, strain relationships, and foster a materialistic mindset. The pressure to maintain a certain lifestyle can lead to burnout and a sense of emptiness.
I contend that money is a facilitator of happiness, not its sole determinant. While it can provide comfort and opportunities, true happiness stems from meaningful relationships, personal growth, and a sense of purpose. Striking a balance between financial security and personal fulfillment is key to a fulfilling life.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development and relevant supporting ideas
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately with only minor errors
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a variety of sentence structures with only occasional errors
Band 9.0 Answer
Sample Answer:
The interplay between money and happiness is a multifaceted issue that has been the subject of much debate. Advocates of the notion that money buys happiness posit that financial prosperity affords individuals the luxury of choosing fulfilling careers, accessing high-quality healthcare, and indulging in leisure activities that enrich their lives. Empirical evidence suggests that up to a certain point, increased income correlates with greater life satisfaction. However, the corrosive effects of wealth accumulation cannot be ignored. The insatiable quest for financial gain can erode personal relationships, compromise ethical standards, and induce a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.
In my considered opinion, money is a double-edged sword. While it can undoubtedly enhance one's quality of life, it is not a panacea for happiness. True contentment is derived from a holistic approach that encompasses strong social connections, personal achievements, and a sense of contributing to something greater than oneself. It is the judicious management of financial resources, coupled with a balanced lifestyle, that paves the way for enduring happiness.
Scoring Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development and relevant, extended supporting ideas
- Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas and paragraphing
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary appropriately with full flexibility and precision
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a variety of complex sentence structures with full flexibility and accuracy
Vocabulary Highlights
- Prosperity (noun): Wealth and success. Example: Financial prosperity affords individuals the luxury of choosing fulfilling careers.
- Insatiable (adjective): Impossible to satisfy. Example: The insatiable quest for financial gain can erode personal relationships.
- Corrosive (adjective): Gradually causing harm or damage. Example: The corrosive effects of wealth accumulation cannot be ignored.
- Panacea (noun): A solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases. Example: Money is not a panacea for happiness.
- Holistic (adjective): Characterized by the belief that the parts of something are intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole. Example: True contentment is derived from a holistic approach.
- Judicious (adjective): Having, showing, or done with good judgment. Example: It is the judicious management of financial resources that paves the way for enduring happiness.
- Enduring (adjective): Lasting over a long period of time. Example: It is the judicious management of financial resources that paves the way for enduring happiness.
- Empirical (adjective): Based on observation or experience rather than theory or pure logic. Example: Empirical evidence suggests that up to a certain point, increased income correlates with greater life satisfaction.
- Relentless (adjective): Continuing without pause or surcease. Example: The relentless pursuit of wealth can engender stress.
- Materialistic (adjective): Excessively concerned with material possessions. Example: The pursuit of money can foster a materialistic mindset.
- Burnout (noun): Physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. Example: The pressure to maintain a certain lifestyle can lead to burnout.
- Facilitator (noun): A person or thing that makes an action or process easy or easier. Example: Money is a facilitator of happiness.
- Determinant (noun): A factor that decisively affects the nature or outcome of something. Example: Money is not the sole determinant of happiness.
- Allevates (verb): Make (suffering, bad feelings, or financial hardship) less intense or severe. Example: Financial stability alleviates stress.
- Indulge (verb): Allow oneself to enjoy the pleasure of. Example: Money can facilitate travel, which broadens horizons and creates lasting memories.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Overgeneralizing: Making broad statements without specific examples or evidence.
- Ignoring the Task: Focusing too much on one side of the argument and neglecting the other.
- Repetition: Repeating the same ideas or vocabulary without adding new information.
- Poor Organization: Failing to structure the essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that hinder understanding.
- Lack of Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary, which can make the essay seem less sophisticated.
- Inconsistent Tense: Mixing tenses incorrectly, which can confuse the reader.
- Plagiarism: Copying directly from other sources without proper citation.
- Irrelevant Information: Including information that does not directly address the prompt.
- Weak Conclusion: Ending the essay abruptly without summarizing the main points or restating the thesis.
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