IELTS Writing Task 2: Juvenile Justice (Positive Negative) — Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers

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The Prompt

Prompts like this are common in IELTS Writing Task 2:

Some people believe that young offenders should be punished just as severely as adults, while others argue for more lenient treatment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Logical but with some unclear progression
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Limited range of vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Frequent errors

Answer:

Many people think that young criminals should get the same punishment as adults. I agree with this because it teaches them a lesson. Others say we should be more lenient. I don't agree because it doesn't help.

Firstly, young offenders need to learn that crime is wrong. If they get the same punishment as adults, they will understand the seriousness. For example, if a young person steals, they should go to jail like an adult. This will make them think twice before doing it again.

On the other hand, some people say young offenders should get a second chance. They think that young people make mistakes and should be given a chance to change. However, I don't think this is a good idea. If we are too lenient, young people will think they can get away with crime. This will make the problem worse.

In conclusion, I believe that young offenders should be punished just as severely as adults. This will help them understand that crime is not acceptable.

Band 7.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Logical progression with some cohesion
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Adequate range of vocabulary
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Some errors but generally accurate

Answer:

The issue of how to deal with young offenders is a contentious one. While some advocate for stringent penalties akin to those meted out to adults, others contend that a more lenient approach is warranted. I firmly believe that young offenders should be treated differently from adults.

Proponents of harsh punishments argue that severity is necessary to deter young people from committing crimes. They posit that if young offenders face the same consequences as adults, they will be less likely to reoffend. For instance, imprisonment might serve as a stark reminder of the gravity of their actions. However, this perspective overlooks the fact that young people are still developing both mentally and emotionally. Harsh punishments could potentially exacerbate their behavioral issues rather than rectify them.

Conversely, those who advocate for a more lenient approach emphasize the importance of rehabilitation. They argue that young offenders are more likely to respond positively to guidance and support rather than punishment. For example, community service or counseling could help young offenders understand the consequences of their actions and steer them towards a more positive path. This approach not only addresses the root causes of their behavior but also equips them with the skills necessary to reintegrate into society.

In conclusion, while the debate surrounding the appropriate treatment of young offenders is complex, I am convinced that a more lenient approach is preferable. By focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment, we can help young offenders become productive members of society.

Band 8.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Logical progression with clear cohesion
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Wide range of vocabulary used appropriately
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Few errors, generally accurate

Answer:

The question of whether young offenders should be punished as severely as adults is a contentious one, with compelling arguments on both sides. While some advocate for stringent penalties to deter crime, others contend that a more lenient approach is more effective in the long run. I am inclined to support the latter view.

Those who argue for harsh punishments maintain that severity is necessary to deter young people from committing crimes. They posit that if young offenders face the same consequences as adults, they will be less likely to reoffend. For instance, imprisonment might serve as a stark reminder of the gravity of their actions. However, this perspective overlooks the fact that young people are still developing both mentally and emotionally. Harsh punishments could potentially exacerbate their behavioral issues rather than rectify them.

Conversely, those who advocate for a more lenient approach emphasize the importance of rehabilitation. They argue that young offenders are more likely to respond positively to guidance and support rather than punishment. For example, community service or counseling could help young offenders understand the consequences of their actions and steer them towards a more positive path. This approach not only addresses the root causes of their behavior but also equips them with the skills necessary to reintegrate into society.

In conclusion, while the debate surrounding the appropriate treatment of young offenders is complex, I am convinced that a more lenient approach is preferable. By focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment, we can help young offenders become productive members of society.

Band 9.0 Answer

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough, supported, and extended development
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Logical progression with clear cohesion and progression
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Wide range of vocabulary used with precision
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Sophisticated structures used accurately

Answer:

The debate surrounding the appropriate punishment for young offenders is multifaceted, with proponents of stringent penalties clashing with advocates for leniency. While some argue that harsh punishments are necessary to deter crime, others contend that a more compassionate approach yields better long-term results. I firmly believe that young offenders should be treated differently from adults, with a focus on rehabilitation rather than retribution.

Advocates for harsh punishments assert that severity is essential to deter young people from committing crimes. They argue that if young offenders face the same consequences as adults, they will be less likely to reoffend. For instance, imprisonment might serve as a stark reminder of the gravity of their actions. However, this perspective overlooks the fact that young people are still developing both mentally and emotionally. Harsh punishments could potentially exacerbate their behavioral issues rather than rectify them.

Conversely, those who advocate for a more lenient approach emphasize the importance of rehabilitation. They argue that young offenders are more likely to respond positively to guidance and support rather than punishment. For example, community service or counseling could help young offenders understand the consequences of their actions and steer them towards a more positive path. This approach not only addresses the root causes of their behavior but also equips them with the skills necessary to reintegrate into society.

In conclusion, while the debate surrounding the appropriate treatment of young offenders is complex, I am convinced that a more lenient approach is preferable. By focusing on rehabilitation rather than punishment, we can help young offenders become productive members of society. This approach not only benefits the individual but also society as a whole, as it reduces recidivism and promotes a more just and compassionate society.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adjective): Controversial, likely to cause disagreement

• Example: The issue of juvenile justice is highly contentious.

1. Stringent (adjective): Strict, severe

• Example: Some argue for stringent penalties for young offenders.

1. Lenient (adjective): Permissive, not strict

• Example: A more lenient approach to juvenile justice.

1. Deter (verb): To discourage someone from doing something by instilling doubt or fear of the consequences

• Example: Harsh punishments are meant to deter crime.

1. Rehabilitation (noun): The action of restoring someone to health or normal life through training and therapy after imprisonment, addiction, or illness

• Example: The focus should be on the rehabilitation of young offenders.

1. Exacerbate (verb): To make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse

• Example: Harsh punishments could exacerbate behavioral issues.

1. Rectify (verb): To put or set right; correct

• Example: The goal is to rectify the behavior of young offenders.

1. Reintegrate (verb): To integrate or blend again

• Example: Young offenders need to be reintegrated into society.

1. Compelling (adjective): Evoking interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way

• Example: There are compelling arguments on both sides of the debate.

1. Posit (verb): To put forward as an explanation or hypothesis

• Example: They posit that harsh punishments are necessary.

1. Gravity (noun): Great importance, seriousness, or solemnity

• Example: Imprisonment serves as a reminder of the gravity of their actions.

1. Root causes (noun phrase): The fundamental reasons behind a problem

• Example: This approach addresses the root causes of their behavior.

1. Equip (verb): To supply with the things needed for a particular purpose or activity

• Example: This approach equips them with the skills necessary to reintegrate into society.

1. Recidivism (noun): The tendency of a convicted criminal to reoffend

• Example: A more lenient approach reduces recidivism.

1. Retribution (noun): Punishment inflicted on someone as vengeance for a wrong or criminal act

• Example: The focus should be on rehabilitation rather than retribution.

1. Clash (verb): To come into conflict

• Example: Proponents of stringent penalties clash with advocates for leniency.

1. Multifaceted (adjective): Having many different aspects or features

• Example: The debate surrounding juvenile justice is multifaceted.

1. Compassionate (adjective): Showing or motivated by compassion, which is sympathy and concern for others

• Example: A more compassionate approach to juvenile justice.

1. Instilling (verb): To gradually cause a quality, idea, or feeling to be a part of someone's character

• Example: Harsh punishments are meant to instill fear of the consequences.

1. Promote (verb): To support or actively encourage a cause, venture, or aim

• Example: This approach promotes a more just and compassionate society.

Common Mistakes

1. Overgeneralizing: Students often make sweeping statements without adequate support. Ensure each point is backed by specific examples or evidence.

1. Ignoring the Task: Some students fail to address both views as required by the prompt. Always ensure you discuss both sides of the argument.

1. Weak Vocabulary: Using basic or repetitive vocabulary can lower your score. Aim to use a wide range of academic vocabulary appropriately.

1. Poor Cohesion: Ensuring your ideas flow logically is crucial. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

1. Grammatical Errors: Frequent grammatical mistakes can distract the reader and lower your score. Proofread your work to minimize errors.

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