IELTS Writing Task 2: Juvenile Justice - Band 9.0 Sample Answer

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The Prompt

Some people believe that young offenders should be punished in the same way as adults, while others argue that young people deserve special treatment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers with Scoring Breakdowns

Band 6.0 Answer

The punishment of young offenders is a contentious issue. Some people say that they should be punished like adults, but others think young people should be treated differently. I think that young people should be treated differently.

The first view is that young offenders should be punished like adults because they have committed crimes. If a young person steals or hurts someone, they should be punished just like an adult would be. This shows that crime is not acceptable, no matter who commits it. Also, if young people are not punished properly, they might continue to commit crimes. For example, if a young person is put in jail for a short time, they might think that crime is not a serious thing and do it again.

On the other hand, some people think that young people should be treated differently because they are not fully grown up. Young people's brains are not fully developed, so they might not understand the consequences of their actions. Also, young people can change more easily than adults. If they are given a chance to improve, they might stop committing crimes. For example, some countries have special schools for young offenders where they can learn and get help. This can help them become better people in the future.

I agree with the second view because young people have more potential to change. If they are treated like adults, they might feel hopeless and continue to commit crimes. But if they are given a chance to improve, they can become good members of society. For example, in my country, there are programs that help young offenders get jobs and education. This helps them stay out of trouble and live better lives.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Uses some cohesive devices but with occasional lapses.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Uses a mix of appropriate and less precise vocabulary.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Makes frequent grammatical errors but meaning is usually clear.

Band 7.0 Answer

The debate surrounding the punishment of juvenile offenders has garnered significant attention. While some advocate for treating young offenders similarly to adults, others contend that their youth warrants special consideration. I firmly believe that young offenders should receive differentiated treatment.

Proponents of punishing young offenders like adults argue that this approach promotes fairness and justice. When young individuals commit serious crimes, they should face consequences akin to those imposed on adults to emphasize the gravity of their actions. For instance, a teenager who commits assault should be held accountable through similar legal processes as an adult offender. Additionally, stringent penalties may act as a deterrent, discouraging other young people from engaging in criminal behavior. Without such measures, there is a risk that juvenile offenders might perceive the legal system as lenient, potentially leading to increased crime rates among young people.

Conversely, those who support special treatment for young offenders highlight the developmental differences between adolescents and adults. Young people's brains are still developing, which can affect their decision-making abilities and understanding of consequences. Imposing adult-like punishments on juveniles might hinder their rehabilitation and reintegration into society. For example, countries like Norway focus on rehabilitation rather than retribution, offering educational and therapeutic programs to young offenders. This approach acknowledges that young people have the capacity for change and growth, providing them with the support needed to lead productive lives.

I strongly support the notion that young offenders should be treated differently from adults. The primary reason is the potential for rehabilitation. Young people are more malleable and can be guided towards positive behavior through education and counseling. For example, in my home country, juvenile justice systems often include community service and mentorship programs, which have proven effective in reducing recidivism rates. By focusing on rehabilitation, society can address the root causes of juvenile delinquency and foster a safer community for future generations.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development and extended ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively but with some repetition.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a range of vocabulary but with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some grammatical errors.

Band 8.0 Answer

The issue of juvenile justice is a contentious one, with opinions divided on whether young offenders should be treated like adults or receive special consideration. I am inclined to believe that young offenders deserve a distinct approach due to their developmental stage and potential for rehabilitation.

Those who advocate for treating young offenders like adults argue that this approach ensures justice and fairness. When young individuals commit serious crimes, they should be held accountable through the same legal processes as adults. This sends a clear message that crime is unacceptable, regardless of the perpetrator's age. For example, if a teenager commits murder, imposing an adult sentence emphasizes the severity of the crime and deters others from similar actions. Moreover, proponents of this view contend that leniency towards juvenile offenders might encourage a permissive attitude, leading to an increase in youth crime. Without stringent penalties, young people might perceive the legal system as ineffective, undermining its authority.

On the other hand, proponents of special treatment for young offenders emphasize the importance of considering their developmental differences. Adolescents' brains are still maturing, which can impair their judgment and understanding of consequences. Imposing adult-like punishments on juveniles might impede their rehabilitation and reintegration into society. For instance, countries like Finland prioritize rehabilitation over retribution, offering educational and vocational programs to young offenders. This approach recognizes that young people have the potential for change and growth, providing them with the necessary support to lead law-abiding lives. Additionally, special treatment can address the underlying issues that contribute to juvenile delinquency, such as family background and social environment.

I strongly support the notion that young offenders should be treated differently from adults. The primary reason is the emphasis on rehabilitation. Young people are more amenable to change and can be guided towards positive behavior through education and counseling. For example, in my country, juvenile justice systems often include restorative justice programs, where offenders are encouraged to make amends for their actions. This approach not only helps young offenders understand the impact of their crimes but also fosters a sense of responsibility and empathy. By focusing on rehabilitation, society can address the root causes of juvenile delinquency and create a safer community for future generations.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with extensive development and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with some less precise word choices.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with occasional grammatical errors.

Band 9.0 Answer

The contentious debate surrounding the appropriate punishment for juvenile offenders continues to spark fervent discussion. While some contend that young offenders should face the same consequences as adults, others argue for a more lenient approach tailored to their developmental stage. I firmly believe that young offenders deserve special consideration due to their unique circumstances and potential for rehabilitation.

Advocates for treating young offenders like adults posit that this approach ensures justice and fairness. When adolescents commit serious crimes, they should be held accountable through the same legal processes as adults. This underscores the gravity of their actions and sends a clear message that crime is unacceptable, irrespective of the perpetrator's age. For instance, if a teenager commits armed robbery, imposing an adult sentence emphasizes the severity of the crime and serves as a deterrent to potential offenders. Moreover, proponents of this view argue that leniency towards juvenile offenders might foster a permissive attitude, potentially leading to an increase in youth crime. Without stringent penalties, young people might perceive the legal system as ineffective, undermining its authority and the rule of law.

Conversely, those who advocate for special treatment for young offenders highlight the importance of considering their developmental differences. Adolescents' brains are still undergoing significant development, which can affect their decision-making abilities and understanding of consequences. Imposing adult-like punishments on juveniles might hinder their rehabilitation and reintegration into society. For example, countries like Germany prioritize rehabilitation over retribution, offering comprehensive educational and therapeutic programs to young offenders. This approach acknowledges that young people have the capacity for change and growth, providing them with the support needed to lead productive and law-abiding lives. Additionally, special treatment can address the underlying issues that contribute to juvenile delinquency, such as family dynamics and socio-economic factors.

I strongly support the notion that young offenders should be treated differently from adults. The primary reason is the emphasis on rehabilitation. Young people are more malleable and can be guided towards positive behavior through targeted interventions and support. For example, in my country, juvenile justice systems often include community-based programs, where offenders participate in community service and receive mentorship. This approach not only helps young offenders understand the impact of their actions but also fosters a sense of responsibility and connection to their community. By focusing on rehabilitation, society can address the root causes of juvenile delinquency and create a safer, more cohesive environment for future generations.

In conclusion, while the debate surrounding juvenile justice is complex, it is evident that treating young offenders differently from adults offers significant benefits. By prioritizing rehabilitation and addressing the unique needs of young people, society can foster a more just and compassionate approach to juvenile justice.

Scoring Breakdown:

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development and supported ideas.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Uses cohesive devices effectively with a clear progression of ideas and paragraphing.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise word choices and collocations.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with minimal grammatical errors.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Contentious (adjective): causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.

• Example: The issue of juvenile justice is highly contentious.

1. Garnered (verb): gathered or collected.

• Example: The debate has garnered significant attention.

1. Advocate (verb): publicly recommend or support.

• Example: Proponents advocate for treating young offenders like adults.

1. Deterrent (noun): a thing that discourages or is intended to discourage someone from doing something.

• Example: Stringent penalties may act as a deterrent.

1. Impede (verb): delay or prevent something by obstructing them.

• Example: Imposing adult-like punishments might impede rehabilitation.

1. Reintegration (noun): the process of being integrated or included again.

• Example: Special treatment can facilitate reintegration into society.

1. Amenable (adjective): open and responsive to suggestion; easily persuaded or controlled.

• Example: Young people are more amenable to change.

1. Restorative (adjective): relating to or involving the restoration of something to its former condition.

• Example: Restorative justice programs encourage offenders to make amends.

1. Foster (verb): encourage the development of something, especially something desirable.

• Example: This approach fosters a sense of responsibility.

1. Permissive (adjective): allowing much freedom.

• Example: Lenience might foster a permissive attitude.

1. Underlying (adjective): present or apparent throughout something though not necessarily obvious.

• Example: Special treatment can address underlying issues.

1. Fervent (adjective): having or showing strong feelings.

• Example: The debate continues to spark fervent discussion.

1. Irrespective (adjective): without regard to the effect or consequences; regardless.

• Example: Crime is unacceptable, irrespective of the perpetrator's age.

1. Comprehensive (adjective): including or dealing with all or nearly all aspects of something.

• Example: Germany offers comprehensive educational programs.

1. Cohesive (adjective): forming a united whole; unified.

• Example: The response is cohesive and well-structured.

1. Precision (noun): the quality of being exact or accurate.

• Example: The use of precise vocabulary enhances the response.

1. Collocations (noun): a sequence of words or terms that co-occur more often than would be statistically expected by chance.

• Example: 'Significant attention' is a common collocation.

1. Malleable (adjective): able to be changed easily.

• Example: Young people are more malleable and can be guided towards positive behavior.

1. Targeted (adjective): aimed or directed at a particular goal or objective.

• Example: Targeted interventions can help young offenders.

1. Cohesive Devices (noun): words or phrases that connect ideas and show relationships between them.

• Example: 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However' are cohesive devices.

Common Mistakes Students Make

1. Lack of Clear Position: Many students discuss both views but fail to present a clear opinion. This weakens the response and lowers the Task Response score.

1. Inadequate Development of Ideas: Students often present ideas without sufficient explanation or examples. This results in a lack of depth and reduces the overall score.

1. Overuse of Simple Sentences: Relying heavily on simple sentence structures can make the response appear less sophisticated. Incorporating complex sentences can enhance the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

1. Poor Vocabulary Choice: Using repetitive or inappropriate vocabulary can negatively impact the Lexical Resource score. Students should aim to use a wide range of vocabulary with precision.

1. Insufficient Cohesion: Poor use of cohesive devices can make the response difficult to follow. Effective use of cohesive devices enhances the Coherence and Cohesion score.

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