IELTS Writing Task 2: Junk Food Tax – Band 9.0 Sample with Full Breakdown

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Prompt

Some governments propose taxing junk food to improve public health. Others argue this is unfair and ineffective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Model Answers

Band 6.0 Answer

The government should tax junk food because it is bad for health. Many people eat too much junk food and this causes problems like obesity and diabetes. Taxing junk food can make people eat less of it. Also, the money from the tax can be used for healthcare. However, some people say it is unfair because junk food is cheap and many people like it. They think the government should not tell people what to eat. In my opinion, the government should tax junk food because it is good for health.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 5.0 – Presents a position but with limited development and some irrelevant points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 6.0 – Ideas are logically ordered but with some unclear progression.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 – Uses some less common vocabulary but with some errors and limited range.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but with frequent errors.

Band 7.0 Answer

The debate over taxing junk food to improve public health has gained significant attention. Proponents argue that such a tax would discourage consumption of unhealthy foods, thereby reducing obesity rates and associated healthcare costs. For instance, countries like Mexico have implemented similar taxes with notable success in curbing junk food sales. Additionally, revenue generated could fund public health initiatives. However, opponents contend that this approach is paternalistic and may disproportionately affect low-income individuals who rely on affordable junk food options. They also argue that education and regulation might be more effective strategies. In my view, while taxation has merits, a balanced approach combining education and regulation would be more equitable and effective.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 7.0 – Presents a clear position with some development and relevant supporting points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 – Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and some cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 – Uses a mix of common and less common vocabulary with some errors but generally appropriate.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 – Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors but generally accurate.

Band 8.0 Answer

The proposal to tax junk food as a public health measure has sparked considerable debate. Advocates assert that such a tax would serve as a deterrent, encouraging healthier eating habits and reducing the prevalence of obesity-related diseases. For example, the implementation of junk food taxes in countries like Hungary and France has led to a decrease in consumption and an increase in revenue for health programs. Furthermore, the financial burden of treating obesity-related illnesses could be alleviated. Conversely, critics argue that this measure is regressive, as it disproportionately affects lower-income individuals who may lack access to healthier, more expensive food options. They also contend that education and regulation of food marketing could be more effective in promoting healthier choices. In my opinion, while taxation can be a useful tool, it should be part of a broader strategy that includes education and regulation to ensure fairness and effectiveness.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 8.0 – Presents a clear position with well-developed arguments and relevant supporting points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 8.0 – Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 – Uses a range of vocabulary with some less common items and generally appropriate usage.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 – Uses a range of complex sentence forms with generally accurate grammar and some sophisticated structures.

Band 9.0 Answer

The contentious issue of taxing junk food to enhance public health has garnered global attention. Proponents of this measure argue that it would effectively discourage the consumption of unhealthy foods, thereby mitigating the rising prevalence of obesity and related chronic diseases. Empirical evidence from countries such as Mexico and Hungary demonstrates that such taxes have successfully reduced junk food consumption and generated substantial revenue for public health initiatives. Moreover, the financial strain on healthcare systems due to obesity-related illnesses could be significantly alleviated. Conversely, detractors posit that this approach is inherently regressive, as it disproportionately impacts low-income individuals who often rely on affordable junk food options. They also argue that education and regulation of food marketing could be more equitable and effective in promoting healthier lifestyles. In my view, while taxation can be a valuable tool, it should be integrated into a comprehensive strategy that includes education, regulation, and subsidies for healthier food options to ensure both effectiveness and fairness.

Scoring Breakdown

• Task Response (TR): 9.0 – Presents a clear position with fully developed arguments and relevant, extended supporting points.
• Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 9.0 – Ideas are logically organized with clear progression and sophisticated use of cohesive devices.
• Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 – Uses a wide range of vocabulary with precise and sophisticated usage.
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 – Uses a wide range of complex sentence forms with generally accurate grammar and sophisticated structures.

Vocabulary Highlights

1. Deterrent (noun): Something that discourages or prevents something from happening.

• Example: The high cost of cigarettes acts as a deterrent for many people.

1. Prevalence (noun): The fact of being widespread or common.

• Example: The prevalence of obesity has increased significantly in recent years.

1. Alleviate (verb): To make something less severe or more bearable.

• Example: The new policy aims to alleviate the financial burden on low-income families.

1. Regressive (adjective): Making less progressive; characterized by reversal or decline.

• Example: Critics argue that the tax is regressive and unfair to low-income individuals.

1. Equitable (adjective): Fair and impartial.

• Example: The new policy aims to ensure equitable access to healthcare for all citizens.

1. Empirical (adjective): Based on observation or experience rather than theory.

• Example: Empirical evidence supports the effectiveness of the new tax policy.

1. Mitigate (verb): To make something less severe, serious, or painful.

• Example: The new regulations aim to mitigate the impact of climate change.

1. Chronic (adjective): Persisting for a long time or constantly recurring.

• Example: Obesity is a chronic condition that requires long-term management.

1. Subsidies (noun): A sum of money granted by the government to help an industry or business keep the price of a commodity or service low.

• Example: The government provides subsidies to farmers to support the agricultural industry.

1. Contentious (adjective): Causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial.

• Example: The new tax policy is a contentious issue among politicians and the public.

1. Disproportionately (adverb): In a way that is unfair or unequal.

• Example: The tax disproportionately affects low-income individuals.

1. Regulation (noun): A rule or directive made and maintained by an authority.

• Example: The new regulation aims to reduce pollution levels in the city.

1. Integrated (adjective): Combined or coordinated to form a whole.

• Example: The new policy integrates education, regulation, and subsidies to promote healthier lifestyles.

1. Comprehensive (adjective): Including or dealing with all or nearly all aspects of something.

• Example: The new policy is comprehensive and addresses multiple aspects of public health.

1. Sophisticated (adjective): Having or showing a great deal of worldly experience and knowledge.

• Example: The new policy is sophisticated and addresses multiple aspects of public health.

Common Mistakes

1. Lack of Clear Position: Failing to present a clear stance on the issue, leading to a weak Task Response score.
2. Irrelevant Points: Including points that do not directly address the prompt, which can lower the Task Response score.
3. Poor Coherence and Cohesion: Using unclear or illogical progression of ideas, which can affect the Coherence and Cohesion score.
4. Limited Vocabulary: Using only basic vocabulary, which can limit the Lexical Resource score.
5. Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical errors, which can lower the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score.

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