IELTS Writing Task 2: Junk Food Tax — Band 8.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
IELTS Writing Task 2 Prompt (Paraphrased):
Some governments propose taxing unhealthy food to combat obesity and related health problems. Others argue this approach is unfair and ineffective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Scored: [TR: 6.0 CC: 6.0 LR: 6.0 GRA: 6.0]
Governments should tax junk food because it is bad for health. Many people are obese and this causes problems. Taxing junk food can make people eat healthier. Also, the money can be used for hospitals. Some say it is not fair because everyone should choose what to eat. But if people know it is bad, they should not eat it. I think tax is good idea.
Why it scored Band 6.0:
- Presents a pertinent position but development is limited and unsupported
- Attempts to use connectors but sequencing of ideas is unclear
- Vocabulary is basic and may be repeated (e.g., "bad")
- Simple sentence forms dominate with a few attempted complex structures
Band 7.0 Answer
Scored: [TR: 7.0 CC: 7.0 LR: 7.0 GRA: 7.0]
The debate over taxing unhealthy foods has intensified in recent years. Proponents argue that such measures can significantly reduce obesity rates and associated healthcare costs. By increasing prices, governments can discourage consumption and promote healthier eating habits. Additionally, revenue generated from these taxes could fund public health initiatives. However, opponents contend that this approach infringes upon personal freedom. They argue that individuals should have the right to choose their diets without government interference. Furthermore, some claim that such taxes disproportionately affect lower-income individuals. In my view, while personal responsibility is important, government intervention can be justified when public health is at stake.
Why it scored Band 7.0:
- Presents a clear position throughout the response with relevant, extended ideas
- Logical organization with clear progression
- Uses a mix of vocabulary with some less common lexical items (e.g., "intensified")
- Attempts complex sentence forms but some structures may be inaccurate or awkward
Band 8.0 Answer
Scored: [TR: 8.0 CC: 8.0 LR: 8.0 GRA: 8.0]
The imposition of taxes on junk food has emerged as a contentious public health strategy. Proponents of this measure argue that it represents a pragmatic approach to curbing the alarming rise in obesity-related ailments. By rendering unhealthy food options financially less attractive, governments can nudge consumers toward more nutritious choices. Furthermore, the resultant revenue could be channeled into preventive healthcare programs, creating a virtuous cycle of improved public health. Conversely, critics contend that such policies represent an unwarranted intrusion into personal liberties. They posit that adults possess the cognitive capacity to make informed dietary choices. Additionally, there are concerns that these taxes could disproportionately burden lower socioeconomic groups, potentially exacerbating social inequalities. In my view, while the arguments against food taxation have some merit, the potential public health benefits warrant government intervention in this sphere.
Why it scored Band 8.0:
- Presents a clear position with relevant, extended ideas
- Uses sophisticated vocabulary appropriately (e.g., "contentious", "pragmatic")
- Logical organization with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices
- Uses complex sentence forms with flexibility and accuracy, though some minor errors may appear
Band 9.0 Answer
Scored: [TR: 9.0 CC: 9.0 LR: 9.0 GRA: 9.0]
The proposal to levy taxes on unhealthy foodstuffs has sparked vigorous debate among policymakers, health professionals, and the general public. Advocates for such measures assert that they constitute a vital tool in the ongoing battle against the obesity epidemic. By internalizing the external costs of unhealthy eating through taxation, governments can create powerful financial disincentives that steer consumers toward healthier alternatives. The revenue generated could then be reinvested in comprehensive public health campaigns or subsidized nutrition programs, creating a multifaceted approach to combating obesity. Opponents, however, raise valid concerns about the paternalistic nature of these policies. They argue that such interventions undermine individual autonomy and may foster a culture of nanny-state governance. Moreover, there is evidence to suggest that regressive tax policies can disproportionately impact lower-income households, potentially deepening existing socioeconomic disparities. In my estimation, while these criticisms warrant serious consideration, the compelling public health rationale for food taxation ultimately justifies its implementation, provided it is designed and implemented with appropriate safeguards.
Why it scored Band 9.0:
- Presents a position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
- Uses a wide range of sophisticated vocabulary with precision (e.g., "internalizing the external costs")
- Logical organization with clear progression and effective use of cohesive devices
- Uses complex sentence forms with full flexibility and accuracy
Key Vocabulary
- Contentious (adj): causing or likely to cause an argument; controversial
- Example: "The proposal to raise taxes remains a contentious issue among legislators."
- Pragmatic (adj): dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations
- Example: "A pragmatic approach to policy-making considers both the benefits and drawbacks of each option."
- Nudge (v): to encourage someone gently to do something
- Example: "The government is trying to nudge consumers toward more sustainable choices."
- Paternalistic (adj): behaving towards others in a way that is protective or controlling in a way that some people might feel is unnecessary or annoying
- Example: "Critics argue that the new policy is overly paternalistic, infringing on personal freedoms."
- Internalize (v): to make something a permanent part of your personality, thinking, or way of behaving
- Example: "The costs of pollution need to be internalized by those who create it."
- Multifaceted (adj): having many different aspects or features
- Example: "A multifaceted approach to the problem considers economic, social, and environmental factors."
- Reinvest (v): to invest money again in a business or activity
- Example: "The company decided to reinvest its profits in research and development."
- Autonomy (n): the right or condition of self-government
- Example: "The debate centers around the balance between individual autonomy and public health."
- Disparities (n): a lack of equality
- Example: "The policy has been criticized for exacerbating socioeconomic disparities."
- Rationale (n): a set of reasons that is presented for an action or idea
- Example: "The rationale behind the new law is to protect consumers from harmful products."
- Comprehensive (adj): including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something
- Example: "A comprehensive solution addresses the root causes of the problem."
- Subsidized (adj): supported financially by an organization or government
- Example: "The program offers subsidized meals to low-income families."
- Virtuous (adj): having or showing high moral standards
- Example: "The policy aims to create a virtuous cycle of improved public health."
- Epidemic (n): a situation in which a disease is affecting a large number of people in an area
- Example: "The obesity epidemic has become a major public health concern."
- Safeguards (n): measures taken to protect something
- Example: "The law includes several safeguards to prevent abuse."
Common Mistakes
- Limited Vocabulary: Using repetitive or basic vocabulary instead of a range of appropriate words
- Solution: Practice using synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary
- Poor Organization: Failing to structure the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion
- Solution: Use a clear essay structure and ensure each paragraph has a central idea
- Incorrect Grammatical Structures: Using complex sentence forms inaccurately
- Solution: Practice complex sentence structures and have them checked by a teacher or AI tool
- Lack of Supporting Details: Presenting ideas without adequate explanation or examples
- Solution: Always provide reasons, examples, or evidence to support your ideas
- Overgeneralization: Making broad statements without qualification
- Solution: Use modifiers and qualifiers to make your statements more precise
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