IELTS Writing Task 2: Individual vs Society (Discussion) - Band 6/7/8/9 Model Answers
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The Prompt
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people believe that individuals should be responsible for their own success, while others argue that society plays a more important role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0 Answer
Score Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 5.0 - Presents a position but with limited development
- Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 6.0 - Logical but with some unclear progression
- Lexical Resource (LR): 6.0 - Some appropriate vocabulary but frequent errors
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 6.0 - Limited range with frequent errors
Answer:
In this day and age, there is a big debate about who is more important for success, the individual or society. Some people think that it is up to the person to make their own success. Others believe that society helps more. I think both are important.
On one hand, individuals can make their own success. For example, many famous people like Steve Jobs worked hard and became successful. They did not rely on society. On the other hand, society also plays a big role. For instance, schools and universities help people get education. Without society, it would be hard for individuals to succeed.
In conclusion, I think both individuals and society are important. Individuals need to work hard, but society also provides the tools and opportunities.
Band 7.0 Answer
Score Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position with some development
- Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Logical progression with some cohesive devices
- Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Adequate range but some errors
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Some range but frequent errors
Answer:
The role of individuals and society in achieving success is a contentious issue. While some argue that personal effort is the key to success, others contend that societal support is more crucial. I believe both factors are essential.
Proponents of individual responsibility assert that personal effort and determination are the primary drivers of success. For example, many entrepreneurs have achieved remarkable success through their hard work and innovative ideas. Society, however, also plays a significant role in providing the necessary infrastructure and opportunities. Education systems, healthcare, and social services are all examples of how society contributes to individual success.
In conclusion, while personal effort is important, societal support is equally vital. A balanced approach that recognizes the contributions of both individuals and society is necessary for achieving success.
Band 8.0 Answer
Score Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 8.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough development
- Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 8.0 - Logical progression with effective cohesive devices
- Lexical Resource (LR): 8.0 - Adequate range with some sophisticated vocabulary
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 8.0 - Some range but occasional errors
Answer:
The debate over whether individual effort or societal support is more instrumental in achieving success is a complex one. While some advocate for the primacy of personal responsibility, others emphasize the importance of societal contributions. I contend that both are indispensable.
Those who prioritize individual effort argue that personal determination and hard work are the cornerstones of success. For instance, many self-made millionaires attribute their achievements to their relentless pursuit of goals. Conversely, societal support provides the foundation upon which individuals can build their success. Access to quality education, healthcare, and social services are all examples of how society facilitates individual achievement.
In conclusion, while personal effort is crucial, societal support is equally important. A holistic approach that acknowledges the interplay between individual initiative and societal contributions is essential for achieving success.
Band 9.0 Answer
Score Breakdown:
- Task Response (TR): 9.0 - Presents a clear position with thorough, nuanced development
- Coherence & Cohesion (CC): 9.0 - Logical progression with sophisticated cohesive devices
- Lexical Resource (LR): 9.0 - Wide range of sophisticated vocabulary
- Grammatical Range & Accuracy (GRA): 9.0 - Wide range with minimal errors
Answer:
The dichotomy between individual effort and societal support in the pursuit of success is a multifaceted issue. While some contend that personal responsibility is the linchpin of achievement, others posit that societal contributions are more pivotal. I assert that both are integral to the attainment of success.
Advocates of individual responsibility posit that personal determination and perseverance are the bedrock of success. For example, many trailblazers in various fields have attributed their accomplishments to their unwavering commitment and resilience. Conversely, societal support provides the scaffolding upon which individuals can erect their success. Access to quality education, healthcare, and social services are all exemplars of how society catalyzes individual achievement.
In conclusion, while personal effort is indispensable, societal support is equally vital. A synergistic approach that recognizes the symbiotic relationship between individual initiative and societal contributions is essential for achieving success.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Contentious (adj.): Controversial, debated
- Example: The role of individuals and society in achieving success is a contentious issue.
- Primacy (n.): The state of being first in importance
- Example: Some advocate for the primacy of personal responsibility.
- Indispensable (adj.): Absolutely necessary
- Example: Both are indispensable to the attainment of success.
- Relentless (adj.): Unceasing, persistent
- Example: Many self-made millionaires attribute their achievements to their relentless pursuit of goals.
- Catalyze (v.): To cause or accelerate a reaction
- Example: Society catalyzes individual achievement.
- Synergistic (adj.): Relating to the interaction of two or more agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their individual effects
- Example: A synergistic approach that recognizes the interplay between individual initiative and societal contributions.
- Trailblazers (n.): People who are first to do something
- Example: Many trailblazers in various fields have attributed their accomplishments to their unwavering commitment.
- Unwavering (adj.): Steady, resolute
- Example: Their unwavering commitment and resilience.
- Scaffolding (n.): A temporary structure used to support the construction of something
- Example: Societal support provides the scaffolding upon which individuals can erect their success.
- Holistic (adj.): Characterized by the belief that the parts of something are interconnected and can only be understood in relation to the whole
- Example: A holistic approach that acknowledges the interplay between individual initiative and societal contributions.
- Interplay (n.): The way in which two or more things or people interact
- Example: The interplay between individual initiative and societal contributions.
- Bedrock (n.): The fundamental or essential part of something
- Example: Personal determination and perseverance are the bedrock of success.
- Pivotal (adj.): Of crucial importance in relation to the development or success of something else
- Example: Others posit that societal contributions are more pivotal.
- Resilience (n.): The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties
- Example: Their unwavering commitment and resilience.
- Exemplars (n.): A person or thing serving as a typical example or excellent model
- Example: Access to quality education, healthcare, and social services are all exemplars of how society catalyzes individual achievement.
- Multifaceted (adj.): Having many different aspects or features
- Example: The dichotomy between individual effort and societal support in the pursuit of success is a multifaceted issue.
- Symbiotic (adj.): Involving interaction or association between two discrete agencies, organisms, etc., to such an extent that each derives benefit from the other
- Example: The symbiotic relationship between individual initiative and societal contributions.
- Erect (v.): To build or set up
- Example: Societal support provides the scaffolding upon which individuals can erect their success.
- Pursuit (n.): The action of pursuing someone or something
- Example: Their relentless pursuit of goals.
- Attainment (n.): The action of achieving something
- Example: Both are integral to the attainment of success.
Common Mistakes
- Lack of Balance: Failing to discuss both views equally, leading to a one-sided argument.
- Insufficient Examples: Not providing enough specific examples to support the argument.
- Poor Vocabulary Choices: Using informal or inappropriate vocabulary.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical mistakes that hinder understanding.
- Lack of Cohesion: Failing to use cohesive devices effectively, making the essay hard to follow.
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