IELTS Writing Task 2: Individual Vs Society - Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
Related guides:
Prompt
Some people believe that individuals should be responsible for their own actions, while others argue that society should take responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Band 7.5 Sample Answer
Individual responsibility is often emphasized in modern societies, but some argue that collective responsibility should take precedence. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a personal stance.
On one hand, proponents of individual responsibility argue that personal accountability fosters independence and self-reliance. When individuals are held accountable for their actions, they are more likely to make better choices. For instance, a person who knows they will face consequences for their actions is less likely to engage in harmful behavior. Additionally, individual responsibility encourages personal growth and development, as people learn from their mistakes and strive to improve. Furthermore, this perspective aligns with the principles of many legal systems, where individuals are punished or rewarded based on their actions.
However, others contend that society should bear some responsibility for individual actions. This view is based on the idea that people are products of their environment and upbringing. For example, a person who grows up in a disadvantaged neighborhood may be more likely to engage in criminal activity, not because of personal choice, but due to a lack of opportunities. In such cases, society should take responsibility for providing support and resources to help individuals overcome these challenges. Additionally, collective responsibility can foster a sense of community and mutual support, as people work together to address common issues.
In my opinion, a balanced approach is necessary. While individuals should be held accountable for their actions, society also has a role to play in providing support and opportunities. This approach ensures that people are motivated to make positive choices while also receiving the help they need to succeed. For example, education and job training programs can empower individuals to take responsibility for their lives while also addressing systemic issues that may hinder their progress.
In conclusion, both individual and collective responsibility have their merits, and a balanced approach is essential for creating a just and supportive society.
Scoring Breakdown
Task Response (TR): 7.0 - Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents, extends, and supports main trends, ideas, or arguments but may not sustain all lines of argument to the same extent.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC): 7.0 - Uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts, informs, or persuades the reader to continue reading; uses a mix of cohesive devices effectively but may make some errors.
Lexical Resource (LR): 7.0 - Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision; uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation, with only occasional errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): 7.0 - Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms; makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they do not impede communication.
Vocabulary Highlights
- Accountability (noun): The fact of being responsible for something. Example: The company's accountability for the environmental damage was questioned.
- Self-reliance (noun): The ability to depend on one's own powers and resources rather than those of others. Example: Her self-reliance was evident in how she handled the crisis.
- Consequences (noun): The results of an action or decision. Example: The consequences of his actions were severe.
- Disadvantaged (adjective): Lacking the means to afford what is necessary or desirable. Example: The disadvantaged community lacked access to quality education.
- Empower (verb): To give someone the authority or power to do something. Example: The program aims to empower women in the community.
- Systemic (adjective): Relating to a system, especially as opposed to a particular part. Example: The systemic issues in the education system need to be addressed.
- Just (adjective): Based on or behaving according to what is morally right and fair. Example: A just society ensures equal opportunities for all.
- Supportive (adjective): Providing encouragement or emotional help. Example: A supportive environment helps individuals thrive.
- Mutual (adjective): Shared or experienced by two or more parties. Example: Mutual respect is essential in any relationship.
- Precedence (noun): The condition of being considered more important than someone or something else; priority in importance, order, or rank. Example: In this debate, individual responsibility should take precedence.
- Foster (verb): To encourage the development of something, especially something desirable. Example: The program aims to foster a sense of community.
- Strive (verb): To make great efforts to obtain or achieve something. Example: She strives to improve her skills every day.
- Collective (adjective): Done by people acting as a group. Example: Collective responsibility can address community-wide issues.
- Principle (noun): A fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning. Example: The principle of individual responsibility is central to many legal systems.
- Perspective (noun): A particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view. Example: Different perspectives on this issue exist.
- Aligned (adjective): In a straight line; parallel. Example: This perspective aligns with the principles of many legal systems.
- Hinder (verb): To make it difficult for someone to do something or for something to happen. Example: Systemic issues can hinder individual progress.
- Common (adjective): Occurring, found, or done often; prevalent. Example: Addressing common issues requires collective effort.
- Balanced (adjective): Having different elements in the right proportions. Example: A balanced approach is necessary for addressing this issue.
- Essential (adjective): Absolutely necessary; extremely important. Example: Mutual respect is essential in any relationship.
Common Mistakes Students Make
- Lack of Clear Position: Some students present both sides of the argument but fail to clearly state their opinion. This can lead to a lower score in Task Response.
- Poor Organization: Students may present ideas in a disorganized manner, making it difficult for the examiner to follow their argument. This affects the Coherence and Cohesion score.
- Limited Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary can result in a lower Lexical Resource score. Students should aim to use a variety of words and phrases to express their ideas.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical errors can negatively impact the Grammatical Range and Accuracy score. Students should proofread their work to minimize errors.
- Insufficient Support: Some students present ideas but fail to provide sufficient support or examples. This can result in a lower score in Task Response.
Get Your Own Response Scored by AI on English AIdol
Practice makes perfect. Get your own IELTS Writing Task 2 response scored by AI on English AIdol and receive detailed feedback to improve your score.
