IELTS Writing Task 2: Immigration — Band 6.0 Sample with Full Breakdown
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The Prompt
IELTS Writing Task 2 (Academic & General, June 2024):
Some people think that governments should give financial support to artists, musicians, and writers. Others believe that these people should earn money like everyone else. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Band 6.0 Sample Answer
I think governments should give money to help artists, musicians and writers. On the one hand, this support can help artists to create good work. For example, some artists may not have enough money to buy supplies or pay for studio space. If the government gives them money, they can focus on their art and make better works. This could also help the country because art is important for culture. If the government does not support artists, maybe they will move to another country where they can get help. This would be bad for the country's culture.
On the other hand, some people think artists should earn money like other people. They say that artists are not special and should find jobs to support themselves. Maybe artists can sell their art or perform concerts to make money. If the government gives money to artists, this money could be used for other important things like schools or hospitals. Some people might think this is not fair because not all people get government money.
In my opinion, governments should give some help to artists but maybe not too much. Maybe they can give small amounts of money to help artists start their careers. After that, the artists should try to earn money by themselves. This way, artists can create good work and the government can use its money wisely.
Scoring Breakdown
| Criteria | Band 6.0 Score | Explanation | |------------------|---------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | Task Response| 6.0 | Presents a clear position throughout the response but with some irrelevant details. The arguments are developed reasonably but could be more fully extended. | | Coherence | 6.0 | There is logical organization with some use of cohesive devices, but the connections between ideas are not always clear. Some paragraphs are not well-linked. | | Lexical Range| 6.0 | Uses a mixer of appropriate and less accurate vocabulary, with some attempts at less common lexical items. Some errors in word choice and collocations. | | Grammar | 6.0 | Makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, but these errors do not impede understanding. Sentence variety is limited. |
Key Vocabulary for Immigration Topics
- Displace (v.) - to make someone leave their home or country
Example: The war displaced thousands of families.
- Integration (n.) - the process of becoming part of a group or society
Example: The success of immigration depends on effective integration policies.
- Diaspora (n.) - the scattering of people from their original country
Example: The Indian diaspora is one of the largest in the world.
- Asylum (n.) - protection given by a government to someone who has left their country
Example: Many refugees seek asylum in European countries.
- Xenophobia (n.) - fear or hatred of foreigners
Example: Xenophobia is a major challenge for immigrant communities.
- Remittance (n.) - money sent by a worker to their family in another country
Example: Remittances play a crucial role in many developing economies.
- Border control (n.) - the regulation of people entering and leaving a country
Example: Strict border control measures have been implemented to reduce illegal immigration.
- Diversity (n.) - the quality of being different or varied
Example: Immigration contributes to the cultural diversity of a society.
- Deportation (n.) - the act of sending someone out of a country, usually because they have broken the law
Example: The government has increased the number of deportations in recent years.
- Resettlement (n.) - the process of moving people to a new place to live
Example: The UN is coordinating the resettlement of refugees from war-torn countries.
Common Mistakes in IELTS Writing Task 2 Immigration Answers
- Oversimplifying complex issues - Many candidates present immigration as a simple problem with easy solutions, ignoring the nuances and challenges.
- Lack of specific examples - Generic statements about immigration without supporting evidence weaken the argument.
- Incorrect use of passive voice - Some test-takers overuse or misuse passive voice when discussing policies and regulations.
- Overgeneralizing - Making sweeping statements about all immigrants or all countries without considering differences.
- Ignoring the counterargument - Failing to acknowledge opposing views weakens the response, as the prompt often requires discussing both sides.
How to Improve Your Score
To move from Band 6.0 to Band 7.0 and above, focus on:
- Developing arguments more fully with specific examples and clear explanations.
- Improving coherence by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring clear paragraph structure.
- Expanding lexical range by using more advanced and accurate vocabulary relevant to the topic.
- Reducing grammatical errors by practicing complex sentence structures and proofreading for mistakes.
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