IELTS Writing Task 2: Happiness - Band 7.5 Sample with Full Breakdown
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Prompt
Some people believe that happiness is simply a matter of luck, while others think it is something that can be cultivated through effort. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Model Answers
Band 6.0
Task Response: Presents a position but with some irrelevant or unclear ideas. Coherence and Cohesion: Ideas are logically ordered but with some unclear or awkward transitions. Lexical Resource: Uses a limited range of vocabulary with some errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Makes frequent grammatical errors that may obscure meaning.
Happiness is something that many people want to have. Some people think that happiness is just luck. They believe that if you are born in a rich family, you will be happy. Others think that happiness is something that you can work for. They believe that if you work hard, you can be happy.
I agree with the second view. I think that happiness is something that you can work for. For example, if you study hard, you can get a good job. If you have a good job, you can buy a nice house. If you have a nice house, you will be happy. Also, if you are kind to other people, they will be kind to you. This will make you happy.
However, I think that luck is also important. For example, if you are born in a poor family, it will be hard to be happy. You will not have enough money to buy food or clothes. You will not have a good education. This will make it hard to be happy.
In conclusion, I think that happiness is something that you can work for, but luck is also important.
Band 7.0
Task Response: Presents a clear position with relevant, extended, and supported ideas. Coherence and Cohesion: Uses cohesive devices effectively but may have some unclear or awkward transitions. Lexical Resource: Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but with occasional errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors that may obscure meaning.
The notion of happiness has been debated for centuries, with some arguing that it is merely a matter of luck, while others contend that it can be cultivated through concerted effort. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own view.
On one hand, it is undeniable that luck plays a significant role in one's happiness. For instance, those born into affluent families often have access to better education, healthcare, and social opportunities, which can contribute to their overall well-being. Moreover, inheriting a genetic predisposition to optimism or resilience can also influence one's happiness levels. A study by the University of Warwick found that genetic factors account for approximately 35% of the variation in happiness levels among individuals.
On the other hand, happiness can also be cultivated through deliberate effort. Engaging in activities that promote personal growth, such as learning new skills or pursuing hobbies, can foster a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Furthermore, cultivating strong social connections and practicing gratitude can significantly enhance one's happiness. A Harvard study spanning 80 years revealed that strong relationships are the single most important factor in leading a happy life.
In my opinion, while luck may provide a head start, it is the effort one puts into nurturing their happiness that ultimately determines their well-being. For example, a person born into poverty can still find happiness by focusing on their personal growth, building strong relationships, and practicing gratitude. Conversely, a person born into wealth may struggle with happiness if they do not cultivate these aspects.
In conclusion, both luck and effort play crucial roles in determining one's happiness. However, I firmly believe that it is the concerted effort to nurture one's happiness that has the most significant impact on one's overall well-being.
Band 7.5
Task Response: Presents a clear position with well-extended and supported ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and some sophisticated transitions.
Lexical Resource: Uses a sufficient range of vocabulary with some less common lexical items but with occasional errors in word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors that may obscure meaning.
The pursuit of happiness is a universal human endeavor, with divergent views on its attainment. While some ascribe happiness to the whims of fortune, others advocate for its cultivation through diligent effort. This discourse will elucidate both perspectives before proffering my own stance.
Proponents of the luck-based hypothesis posit that happiness is largely predetermined by external factors beyond one's control. They argue that inherent advantages, such as a stable upbringing, robust health, or financial prosperity, significantly bolster one's propensity for happiness. For instance, a 2022 study by Cambridge Assessment English revealed that individuals from high-income households reported higher life satisfaction levels than their counterparts from low-income backgrounds. Furthermore, the serendipitous occurrence of positive life events, such as finding a soulmate or securing a dream job, can substantially elevate one's happiness quotient.
Conversely, proponents of the effort-based paradigm contend that happiness is a skill that can be honed through conscious endeavor. They advocate for the cultivation of positive habits, such as mindfulness, gratitude, and altruism, which can incrementally augment one's well-being. For example, a meta-analysis of 411 studies conducted by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley found that practicing gratitude can enhance happiness by up to 10%. Moreover, the deliberate pursuit of personal growth and self-actualization can foster a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which are integral to sustained happiness.
In my view, while luck may confer a temporary boost to one's happiness, it is the sustained effort to nurture one's well-being that yields enduring contentment. For instance, a person born into adversity can still attain happiness by cultivating resilience, fostering strong relationships, and pursuing personal growth. Conversely, a person born into privilege may struggle with happiness if they do not engage in deliberate efforts to nurture their well-being.
In conclusion, the debate between luck and effort in the pursuit of happiness is multifaceted. However, I firmly believe that it is the concerted effort to cultivate happiness that ultimately determines one's long-term well-being. As the renowned psychologist Martin Seligman posits, "Happiness is not the sole pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction, but the cultivation of meaning and virtue."
Band 8.0
Task Response: Presents a clear position with well-developed, extended, and supported ideas. Coherence and Cohesion: Uses cohesive devices effectively with clear progression and sophisticated transitions. Lexical Resource: Uses a wide range of vocabulary with less common lexical items and some sophisticated vocabulary but with occasional errors in word choice. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors that may obscure meaning.
The quintessence of human existence is the relentless pursuit of happiness, a concept that has been the subject of philosophical discourse for millennia. The dichotomy between those who attribute happiness to the caprices of fate and those who advocate for its cultivation through assiduous endeavor is a contentious one. This dissertation will expound upon both perspectives before proffering my own nuanced stance.
The proponents of the luck-based hypothesis posit that happiness is largely contingent upon external factors that lie beyond the purview of individual control. They argue that the fortuitous confluence of advantageous circumstances, such as a stable familial environment, robust physical and mental health, and financial affluence, significantly augments one's proclivity for happiness. For instance, a longitudinal study conducted by the London School of Economics and Political Science revealed that individuals who enjoyed a stable and loving upbringing reported significantly higher levels of life satisfaction in adulthood. Furthermore, the serendipitous occurrence of positive life events, such as the discovery of one's life's purpose or the formation of a deep and abiding love, can engender a profound sense of contentment and fulfillment.
Conversely, the proponents of the effort-based paradigm contend that happiness is a malleable construct that can be sculpted through deliberate and sustained effort. They advocate for the cultivation of positive habits, such as mindfulness, gratitude, and altruism, which can incrementally augment one's well-being. For example, a comprehensive meta-analysis of 411 studies conducted by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley found that the practice of gratitude can enhance happiness by up to 10%. Moreover, the deliberate pursuit of personal growth and self-actualization can foster a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which are integral to sustained happiness. As the renowned psychologist Martin Seligman posits, "Happiness is not the sole pursuit of pleasure and satisfaction, but the cultivation of meaning and virtue."
In my view, while luck may confer a temporary boost to one's happiness, it is the sustained effort to nurture one's well-being that yields enduring contentment. For instance, a person born into adversity can still attain happiness by cultivating resilience, fostering strong relationships, and pursuing personal growth. Conversely, a person born into privilege may struggle with happiness if they do not engage in deliberate efforts to nurture their well-being. As the stoic philosopher Epictetus once remarked, "It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
In conclusion, the debate between luck and effort in the pursuit of happiness is a complex and multifaceted one. However, I firmly believe that it is the concerted effort to cultivate happiness that ultimately determines one's long-term well-being. As the renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, "The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination."
Vocabulary Highlights
- Ascribe (v.): to attribute something to a cause or origin. Example: Many people ascribe their happiness to external factors such as wealth or success.
- Concerted (adj.): done or made with careful organization and effort. Example: A concerted effort to improve one's well-being can lead to increased happiness.
- Cultivate (v.): to try to acquire or develop a quality, skill, or habit. Example: Practicing gratitude can help cultivate a more positive outlook on life.
- Dichotomy (n.): a division or contrast between two things that are or are believed to be opposed or entirely different. Example: The dichotomy between luck and effort in the pursuit of happiness is a contentious one.
- Enduring (adj.): lasting for a long time. Example: The pursuit of happiness is an enduring human endeavor.
- Engender (v.): to cause or give rise to a feeling, situation, or condition. Example: The discovery of one's life's purpose can engender a profound sense of contentment.
- Fortuitous (adj.): happening by chance rather than intention. Example: The fortuitous occurrence of positive life events can significantly elevate one's happiness quotient.
- Inherent (adj.): existing in something as a permanent, essential, or characteristic attribute. Example: Inherent advantages, such as a stable upbringing, can significantly bolster one's propensity for happiness.
- Malleable (adj.): able to be changed or influenced. Example: Happiness is a malleable construct that can be sculpted through deliberate and sustained effort.
- Proclivity (n.): a tendency to choose or do something regularly; an inclination or preference. Example: Inherent advantages can significantly augment one's proclivity for happiness.
- Quintessence (n.): the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class. Example: The quintessence of human existence is the relentless pursuit of happiness.
- Relentless (adj.): continuing in a determined way without any signs of stopping. Example: The relentless pursuit of happiness is a universal human endeavor.
- Serendipitous (adj.): occurring or discovered by chance in a happy or beneficial way. Example: The serendipitous occurrence of positive life events can significantly elevate one's happiness quotient.
- Sustained (adj.): continuing for an extended period or maintained at a certain level. Example: The sustained effort to nurture one's well-being yields enduring contentment.
- Whims (n.): a sudden desire or change of mind, especially one that is unusual or unexpected. Example: The whims of fortune can significantly influence one's happiness.
Common Mistakes
- Overgeneralization: Making sweeping statements about happiness without considering individual differences or cultural contexts.
- Lack of Specificity: Failing to provide concrete examples or evidence to support one's arguments.
- Inadequate Vocabulary: Using a limited range of vocabulary, which can make the response appear less sophisticated.
- Poor Organization: Failing to structure the response clearly, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
- Grammatical Errors: Making frequent grammatical errors that may obscure the meaning of the response.
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